'You and your family sound massively entitled': Guy tells BIL to 'get over' his 10-year grudge so their families can vacation together

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 3, 2023 3:00 PM EST

This guy asked if he's in the wrong for a decade-old family mistake that his BIL just can't put behind him. He's crazy for even asking that! 

As the OP shared to r/AmItheA******, there was an incident that took place about a decade prior, but which has rippled out into the current day, since his brother in law will not forgive and forget the situation. The OP wrote that the BIL is a construction worker, and while he was away, the OP and his father borrowed some pricey equipment. Like, thousands of dollars worth of equipment. Then there was an accident with the skid loader, a crucial piece of construction equipment in the BIL's line of work. 

Just for reference, a skid loader is one of those compact four-wheel vehicles with a bucket attached to the front that you see quite often at construction sites. To my untrained eye, they look kind of like a little smart car with a bucket on the front. When I looked it up, these bad boys started at $56k! Since it's been so long since the incident took place, replacing one would be a huge financial endeavor. I feel so bad for this BIL, and think he is definitely in the right here. That seemed to be the unanimous conclusion of most of the commenters, too. 

Then, take a break with these people who are in some situations and they're not even freaking out about it! They're calmly tweeting and making memes about their lives, as one should. 

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    Cheezburger Image 9731567104
    via Callum Hill on Unsplash.com
  • 02
    Font - r/AmItheA Posted by u/WallabyOverall3366 5 hours ago 22 AITA for telling my BIL to get over himself and to quit holding a 10 year old grudge?
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 03
    Font - My BIL (married to my sister) is a general contractor. About 10 years ago, my dad and brother was building a deck at my parent's home. They asked my BIL if they could borrow his skid loader but he said no. They prepared the ground as best they could without the skid loader but got to the point they couldn't go on without it. They went to my sis's house to ask again but found out BIL went out of town. They talked my sis into letting them borrow it so she took them down to his construction
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 04
    Font - This next part I'm not sure of since I don't know much about towing but from what I was told, dad's truck wasn't big enough or powerful enough to tow the skid loader on the dump trailer so he lost control and wrecked. The truck, trailer, and skid loader was totaled. The insurance was barely enough to cover the medical costs and the truck. There was none left over to cover BIL's stuff. When he got back to town, he exploded. He threaten to sue and things just went downhill from there. My pa
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 05
    Font - However, from that day on he wouldn't have anything to do with our family. He doesn't come for birthdays, holidays, nothing at all. Next month is our parent's 50th anniversary and we're planning a big family gathering to celebrate. We're also chipping in to send our parents on a cruise to Mexico because they've never been out of the country. I spoke to sis about it the other day and she said she's coming with the kids but BIL is not coming. I was fine with that but when we were discussing
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 06
    Font - Sis called me a few minutes ago and said they're not coming and that I was out of line. We argued for a bit and that's where it stands. I don't think I'm wrong for telling him to let go of the past but they're not coming to the anniversary party so now I'm not sure.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 07
    Font - Sad_Researcher_781 - 5 hr. ago Enthusiast [6] A YTA. Your family stole $50k+ in work equipment from your BIL. They didn't pay him back, by the sounds of it, showed zero remorse, and he should just "get over it"? You and your family sound massively entitled, your BIL is smart to cut the lot of you clean off.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 08
    Font - NYX_T_RYX. 4 hr. ago edited 4 hr. ago Parta ipant [2] • Not just that, I'm actually surprised insurance paid out anything. In the UK this would be an at fault claim, and more likely than not outside the scope of insurance because they were towing beyond their vehicle limit. Parents should be grateful all he's done is ignore them - I would've sued. Courts (again in the UK) set up payment plans, so their relative lack of wealth wouldn't be a major issue. Beyond that, I would've also reporte
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 09
    Font - LOVE kreeves9 4 hr. ago The biggest surprise here is that he stayed married to OP's sister. YTA
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 10
    Font - Greedy_Information 96 3 hr. ago Not just that, but they nicely washed their hands off their own misdeed and haven't bothered paying a single cent back in 10 years. I understand they are poor, but that doesn't diminish a sense of responsibility. Instead of pitching in for a bloody cruise, they should all be pitching in to pay the BIL back and try to fix the relationship that they broke
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 11
    Font - thenexttimebandit 3 hr. ago OP only cares now because they're trying to get money out of BIL. OP you your family are AH. YTA
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 12
    Font - Business Remote 9440 3 hr. ago In my experience, when people tell you to "get over it" that's a pretty good indicator that they were in the wrong, but don't think there should be any consequences and are angry that you actually want to hold them accountable. OP and the rest of her family are definitely AHs.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 13
    Font - skillent 3 hr. ago Yep exactly. Replacing the equipment comes first. Then forgiveness. Op, I guess you're an AH for not getting that, but the major AH:s are your dad and brother for apparently not spending some time these ten years paying back the man for what they broke.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 14
    Font - Corgi-Ambitious. 3 hr. ago I can't get over how OP and the rest of the family, over 10 years, never once considered they should try to pay the BIL back. That's an insanely expensive 'mistake' and I'd do everything to correct it, not ever say "it's been X amount of time just get over it." Such a sad situation for that BIL.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 15
    Font - IDDQD_IDKFA-com - 3 hr. ago Partas pant [1] YTA. Your family stole $50k+ in work equipment from your BIL. They didn't pay him back, by the sounds of it, showed zero remorse, 100 This, but it seem worse. They talked my sis into letting them borrow it so she took them down to his construction lot and they hooked it up to dad's truck Sounds like he ran a construction company, so they may have also coated he more in missed/delayed jobs till be could get replacements.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 16
    Font - TRDarkDragonite . 3 hr. ago Seriously I can't believe they decided to go on a cruise without paying BIL some money back. I would feel extremely guilty for such a huge f tup. I would make sure to pay back at least half of the expenses before I start spending money on fun time. YTA OP
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 17
    Vertebrate - curiousguacamole6 - 3 hr. ago 50k??? omg i thought BIL was being petty but jesus that is a lot of money
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 18
    Font - L1mpD 3 hr. ago Seems like they're more upset about him not chipping in for the trip than not coming to the party
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 19
    Font - . _higglety 2 hr. ago. edited 34 min. ago $50k might be a conservative estimate, too! depending on the model, where I am a skid loader can go for 40k itself. I haven't shopped for dump trailers lately, but a qui k google search in my area puts them at generally 5-7k, some up to 10-15k. Then you have to factor in the disruption to businesss since they were work vehicles (jfc). Jobs taking extra time, jobs turned down, etc. They REALLY fo him over. If he had to borrow money to buy them in t
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 20
    Font - PeggyHW 5 hr. ago Supreme Court Just-a [104] YTA. So are your parents. They shouldn't have stolen his property (and yes, it was theft). They should have made him whole before replacing their own property. They should have apologised. They should have given him the money back at some point over the last 10 years. (Would have considered e s h if your parents had made any effort to take responsibility.)
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 21
    Font - Dajukz 5 hr. ago It's pretty straightforward, I already knew in kindergarten not to break someone else's stuff, and a skidloader is probably a very integral part of his bil's job 1nd costs like 100k. Most businesses go down if they lose 100k all at once...
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 22
    Font - selinalunamoon. 4 hr. ago Absolutely! The first repayment should have been to the BIL for his damaged property which they were told they could not borrow! YTA YTA YTA I absolutely would not get over this either until I had been repaid.
    via r/AmItheA******
  • 23
    Font - lyan-cat 3 hr. ago Parta: pant [1] Yup; ten years is plenty of time to try to make it right. Now they expect him to just forget about it and help pay for their vacation? Awful folks.
    via r/AmItheA******

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