Manipulative Dude Gets Medical Diagnosis, Berates Girlfriend for Going to Work Event

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 25, 2023 7:00 PM EDT

Oh, relationships. The bonds we form with other people cause so much trouble at times that it's a wonder any of us bother with them at all. This is especially true of the romantic kind. As a society, we place so much importance on having a significant other that many of us will ignore the red flags when we see them.

This is even more relevant when we fall on hard times. Crappy stuff happens all the time in life, and often it's the people around us who bear the burden of how we feel about it. At least, that seems to be the case with u/Inevitable-Trip3538. Originally planning to attend a high end work event with her partner and stepsister, her plans changed after her boyfriend had a diagnosis at the doctor. 

After spending hours consoling her partner about his newfound anemia, he decided he didn't want to go to the event. She then attended it with her stepsister, who had really wanted to go. He was none too happy about this, but the people of Reddit were skeptical of his reasons to be upset. It's not like she had completely abandoned him.

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmltheAsshole u/Inevitable-Trip3538 • 2d 1 1 2 AITA for not cancelling my plans after my boyfriend learned about his diagnosis? Not the A-hole
    via Inevitable-Trip3528
  • 02
    Font - I (25F) work in event planning so I always get invites or tickets to go high end events. There was a huge event coming up that I was really excited to go to! I asked my boyfriend (27) 3 days before the event to accompany me and he said yes. So originally, the plan was my boyfriend, my step sister and myself.
    via Inevitable-Trip3528
  • 03
    Font - On the day of the event, he said be had a doctor's appointment so he isn't sure if he can still attend. I said No Problem and and I waited for him to return home. A couple hours later he texted me and said he has something to tell me. I got worried and called him immediately. I asked if everything was okay and he said he was diagnosed with anemia so he'll have to take supplements.
    via Inevitable-Trip3528
  • 04
    Font - I expressed how sorry I was and spoke to him for about 2 hours, gave him pep talks, told him I'm here if he needs me, reassured him that I will always love him / etc. I then asked if he would still like to attend the event with me to take his mind off of things to which he responded that he doesn't like the artistes performing so he'd rather go another event. I said No Problem, I will go with my stepsister alone. He got upset and hung up.
    via Inevitable-Trip3528
  • 05
    Font - I called him back but he started an argument about how I'm selfish for going out while he's going through something. I told him that I already made the plans with my step sister and I can't back out now as she's depending on me. I also don't drink so I would have been the sober driver - and if I didn't go, she couldn't. I told him that this event is the only event my sister really wanted to attend and I promised her that I would take her months prior. I even told him I'll see him the next
    via Inevitable-Trip3528
  • 06
    Font - I got to the event around 11 and spent the entire event alone just sitting down and watching the show by myself - having food and drinks. When I returned. home around 2am, I called him and he was awake playing video games. His first words were "look who cares about me again" I said "I'm too tired for this" and he responded by saying that of course I'm tired - I went out without him knowing he's upset but I love partying and meeting new people so much that I didn't think to stay with him o
    via Inevitable-Trip3528
  • 07
    Font - Keep in mind, I don't attend parties unless it's with my family and I only attend events a few times a year. So, AITA for not staying on the phone with him and attending the event instead?
    via Inevitable-Trip3528
  • 08
    Rectangle - Material-Profit5923 2d Asshole Aficionado [11] 6 Awards When I saw the title, I expected it to be cancer, some kind of degenerative disorder, or something requiring major surgery. Anemia is generally a completely treatable condition that has no impact on quality of life, and unless the doctor referenced a concern about a more serious condition, it's reasonable to assume that supplements are all that is needed at this point. It sounds more like he's using it as an excuse to get out of
    via Material-Profit5923
  • 09
    Font - inthemuseum 2d 3 Awards I got to the actual Dx and was like... "okay and what else...?" I feel like majority of women I've known have had anemia at least at some point. This is like a fresh take on the "man cold" or something.
    via inthemuseum
  • 10
    Rectangle - Username Taken93456 2d Partassipant [4] 8 Awards When my doctor told me to take iron pills and vitamins I was like, "ok" and I told my husband and he was like, "ok" And then I got some iron pills and vitamins and took them, and everyone was ok. : Reply 432.1k ↓
    via UsernameTaken93456
  • 11
    Human body - ghostlasagnaslime 2d NTA: I couldn't even imagine spending two hours talking about having anemia in the first place
    via ghostlasagnaslime
  • 12
    Rectangle - Username Taken93456 2d Partassipant [4] S 4 Awards ...anemia? So he's got a condition that mimics ONE of the symptoms of what half the population goes through once a month? : Reply 15.6k ↓
    via UsernameTaken93456
  • 13
    Rectangle - terpischore761 2d Partassipant [3] 5 Awards LOL I knew about man-flu but never knew man-emia was a thing. ΝΤΑ : Reply 412.2k
    via terpischore761
  • 14
    Font - cvkme 2d 2 Awards ΝΤΑ "Anemia" is so so so common (I put it in quotations bc there are so many different types of anemia). Supplements??? He's probably iron deficient and needs to take vitamins. The 2 hour pep talk you had to give him about having to take supplements is embarrassing for him. He basically threw a huge pity party and that continued until you called him later. I would take this as an opportunity to examine his emotional maturity and how he treats you. It sounds to me like he
    via cvkme
  • 15
    Font - mamadovah1102 2d S 1 Award Dude got told he was anemic and acted like it was a death sentence. ⠀ Reply 5.0k Motor-Ad5284 2d God help her if he gets a cold or,shudder,the flu!! Lol
    via mamadovah1102
  • 16
    Font - Justmyopinion00 2d NTA. Not to downplay anything but it's anemia. I've lived with anemia for 40 years. My son has a severe form of anemia, get supplements and transfusions. It's not cancel plans diagnosis. Maybe cuz I live with it I don't see it as a big deal.
    via Justmyopinion00
  • 17
    Font - Careful_Comparison_2 2d Absolutely NTA! This would be a huge red flag to me. Is he normally on the controlling side? ⠀ Reply Inevitable-Trip3538 OP. 2d 3.0k 2 Awards That's the thing! Everyone around me says that he's controlling but I don't see it 100% - or I don't know if that's what I'd call it? He doesn't outrightly come out and say "don't do that" but he'll start an argument each and every time I have to go somewhere. For example, the event I went to before this one was last year Oct
    via Careful_Comparison_2
  • 18
    Font - 22-0 bok Dawghouse87 2d Partassipant [1] NTA. I'm even questioning the validity of his claim. Feels like a stunt to get your attention TBH : Reply 41.3k Inevitable-Trip3538 OP • 2d My family said the same thing but he sent screenshots of his doctor's notes, prescribed medication, etc.
    via Dawghouse87

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relationships argument boyfriend event doctor medicine girlfriend Party Reddit aita reddit thread
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