'I deserve better' : 34 Times Women Realized They Deserve More Than the Bare Minimum

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elina lee
Feb 24, 2023 6:00 PM EST

Breakups are never easy. The process of letting go of someone you care about can be painful and incredibly heartbreaking. But sometimes, a breakup is necessary to help you realize your worth and what you truly deserve in a relationship.

It's not uncommon for people to settle for less than they deserve in a relationship. But once the breakup happens, you start to see things from a different perspective. You begin to recognize the ways in which you compromised your own needs and desires in order to keep the relationship going. You start developing a newfound sense of self-worth and confidence. You begin to understand that you don't need a no-good man to make you happy and definitely not to complete you. 

With that being said, we present to you 34 lightbulb moments where women realized that they deserve so much better than their current relationship has to offer. Use these stories as lessons learned!

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  • 01
    Human body - Posted by u/Lovablemarvel 19 hours ago Women of Reddit. When was the moment your realised you deserved better?
    via u/Lovablemarvel
  • 02
    Font - RadiantGuide7 19 hr. ago ● When I was 5 months pregnant carrying all of the groceries up the 4 flights of stairs to our apartment, and I opened the door to him on the couch in his underwear playing videogames.
    via u/RadiantGuide7
  • 03
    Font - Separate-Trash2375 18 hr. ago My ex bf broke up with me right after sex, like honestly i wasnt even dressed yet, and told me its because he wants to date another girl and see if they would work out. I cried non stop and then he had the audacity to call me while they were having sex and so i blocked him. I saw him after a few years and he tried to get back with me and so i laughed at his face
    via u/Separate-Trash2375
  • 04
    Font - ruthiecarmex 17 hr. ago When I got a scholarship for graduate school that required me to go to an award banquet and it conflicted with a football game he wanted to watch so he never congratulated me and complained the entire time we were at the event. We left early too.
    via u/ruthiecarmex
  • 05
    Font - I cooked, cleaned, worked a full-time job and attended school three times a week and never had any support and only attitude from him when I wasn't home early enough.
    via u/ruthiecarmex
  • 06
    Font - ReadingSad3238 10 hr. ago Mine was a football game too! . After 7 years of being called names and told my family didn't love me during fights, one Friday night I asked him to help me take the trash and recycling out bc I didn't want to go to the alley alone at night.
    via u/ReadingSad3238
  • 07
    Font - The game before his was running late so his college football game wasn't even on yet and he started a huge fight about missing even a second of it. Broke up with him that night and told my dad the next day bc I knew that once I told my dad everything that gone on the last 7 years I could never go back bc my dad would hold me accountable.
    via u/ReadingSad3238
  • 08
    Font - Happy to say I have a respectful partner of over 2 years now and love him more passionately than I had ever known before.
    via u/ReadingSad3238
  • 09
    Font - Tough Collection7460 18 hr. ago 오 Dating my ex boyfriend, during our 1yr anniversary dinner, I realized that I didn't have to be just "fine" or "comfortable" in my relationship, that I deserved love and partnership and passion. And that he wasn't any of those things. I deserved better then "a good man" I deserved "a good man for me." So I ended things with my ex that night and 9mo later I met my fiancé.
    via u/ToughCollection7460
  • 10
    Font - Maleficent_Owl_7573 When our daughter was born and the environment was unsafe for her. I could handle myself but now I had someone else I had to look out for. 19 hr. ago ●
    via u/Maleficent_Owl_7573
  • 11
    Font - The_AmyrlinSeat - 18 hr. ago When I found out my male counterpart was making $15k more than I was, despite me being in the industry and in management twice as long as him.
    via u/The_AmyrlinSeat
  • 12
    Font - Parimnimi · 19 hr. ago It was March, 8th. In my country they usually congratulate women on this day, bring them flowers, have romantic dinners together etc.
    via u/Parimnimi
  • 13
    Font - My long-term ex called me in the morning and even without telling "Hi" asked quite angrily "So, I have to congratulate you now?"
    via u/Parimnimi
  • 14
    Font - In the evening we had a gathering in my student organisation. Our boys were singing and raising glasses to us, and I couldn't help thinking "What is wrong with my bf?"
    via u/Parimnimi
  • 15
    Font - Redhaired103 - 19 hr. ago When my therapist pointed out I was carrying heavy majority of the emotional baggage of the family and forget getting support, I wasn't even getting any credit for it. Weird how sometimes we miss some problems in our own lives that other people can see so clearly.
    via u/Redhaired103
  • 16
    Font - comet7084 7 hr. ago ● My ex tried to get my dog put down behind my back when we broke up, I was lucky that the police contacted me out of courtesy to tell me
    via u/comet7084
  • 17
    Font - RegnantQueen 18 hr. ago It took something I'm not really proud of, which is that I fell in love (or in infatuation, anyway) with someone else. Nothing happened between me and the new person, but when there was someone I enjoyed speaking to and was always glad to see, when I felt appreciated and valued by them and realized that was a new feeling, I realized that there really wasn't anything left for me in my current relationship.
    via u/RegnantQueen
  • 18
    Font - meemsqueak44 9 hr. ago I had the same situation! I really loved my ex but we were both compromising too much. And definitely still together because it was comfortable and safe, not because it was right. It does suck to end and start a relationship in those circumstances, but it was beyond worth it.
    via u/meemsqueak44
  • 19
    Font - Milestogob4Isl33p 15 hr. ago When my husband finally got his mental health under control, and he started treating me much better. He was never abusive, but just sorta checked out and seemingly uninterested in me- I felt unloved. Looking back, I realize that I deserved better at the time, but I'm very happy with where we are now.
    via u/Milestogob4Isl33p
  • 20
    Font - UnderstatedEssence 17 hr. ago I was 20, putting up with a loser boyfriend who never bothered to try to find a job while I supported him. It was a shitty relationship. I was talking to my mom about it, and how I was pretty sure I was going to marry the guy and things would just work out. My mom tells me, "honey, you're far too young to settle for this." And it just clicked, she was so right. I broke up with him the next week. Years later, he has actually had jobs, got married (...twice), a
    via u/UnderstatedEssence
  • 21
    Font - Princess_Sophia Black 19 hr. ago There was a popular song in my country called 'Beauty and a brain'. It was an ode to the singer's girlfriend, saying how lucky he was to have her. I was with my partner for 7 years at the time and realized never thought about me that way.
    via u/Princess_Sophia Black
  • 22
    Font - GrandSaltQueen 17 hr. ago When it brought more pain than joy
    via u/GrandSaltQueen
  • 23
    Font - nothingever333 16 hr. ago ● "i won't tell you my birthday, because then you will expect me to remember yours"
    via u/nothingever333
  • 24
    Font - lux22bare 13 hr. ago When I realized I was begging him to ask me about my day or show an interest in my life.. so embarrassing
    via u/lux22bare
  • 25
    Font - Roxygirl40 17 hr. ago When he started to become emotionally and verbally abusive every time I didn't want to do something he wanted.
    via u/Roxygirl40
  • 26
    Font - Short-Conflict-7029 16 hr. ago after i was told he couldn't "wait around for me to lose 80 lbs." something clicked in my head, and i was like "yeah i deserve better."
    via u/Short-Conflict-7029
  • 27
    Font - MiaOh 14 hr. ago When he was flirting with another woman right in front of my eyes and my friends looked at me with pity.
    via u/MiaOh
  • 28
    Font - notthename_iwanted 14 hr. ago edited 5 hr. ago When he went to the bathroom and I didn't hear water running from him washing his hands after (he had an open door so it was super obvious that he didn't bother to wash). Then came out and put both hands on the sides of my face to kiss me. When I pulled away and suggested he may want to wash up, he told me that he didn't need to wash his hands because he didn't touch his "wiener" then he proceeded to pull it out of his pants and wiggle it aro
    via u/notthename_iwanted
  • 29
    Font - ThrowRAcisjbf28592v 14 hr. ago "When I come home from a 12 hour shift, don't expect me to do shit. I'll come home, shower and go to bed" All I asked was he put the clean/dry dishes away that I washed prior. Or take the garbage out. Nothing major. I said see ya. We're a team, I'm not your maid
    via u/ThrowRAcisjbf28592v
  • 30
    Font - grafittia 16 hr. ago When he told me I was replaceable. When he told me that I "deserve to do more (around the house)" because I make less money.
    via u/grafittia
  • 31
    Human body - ayivhaku 14 hr. ago When I was all alone crying in the dark and I could feel myself numbing down to stop feeling so much pain
    via u/ayivhaku
  • 32
    Font - Susurrusilously. 14 hr. ago It's really miniscule in comparison to some of these stories, but mine was when we were talking about snack foods, and he didn't know what iced cake I was talking about, even though that was something I got weekly. We worked together and he was always there when I bought and ate the stupid things. He never paid me any attention.
    via u/Susurrusilously
  • 33
    Human body - begzu4 14 hr. ago He told me he I wasn't fun to have sex with anymore because he was done "training" me we broke up the next day
    via u/begzu4
  • 34
    Font - Signal Procedure4607 15 hr. ago When he didn't want to see me for a "couple of more weeks" so he can "think”. That meant I would be alone (again) for our 3rd Christmas together. The distance and separation severed what was left of our connection and I was happy to move forward that I didn't really bother to read his text messages. I just knew my heart belonged to another and it wasn't him.
    via u/Signal Procedure4607

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marriage relationships self worth divorce dating breakups
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