And here we are, at the 2016 Zoomlympics rewards ceremony! What a week it's been, full of courageous sportsanimalship, amazing athletic ability, and sheer skill! Congratulations to all our participants from all of our divisions. We will have our awards ceremony shortly, starting with the majestic mammal athletes who wowed us with their amazing skills and ninja-like reflexes.
And now for the grand finale of our awards ceremony, the coveted Best Overall Zoomy award, awarded to the best of the best, the animal closest to becoming speed incarnate! This year was tough, with many animals vying for that top spot, but in the end, we reached the unanimous decision that it should be none other than Harold the Hippo, for the glorious and powerful feat of zoomying straight through an entire fleet of fishing boats. Congrats Harold!
Even the fanciest, sweater-wearing, purebred dogs get the zoomies. It is a time-old tradition that spans many animal breeds and species and unifies them in their attempt to reach velocities so hight that they become beings of pure speed.
Scientist today still have no clue why all cats collectively wake up at 3 am and have zoomy sessions until approximately 4 am. Some theories believe that they are possessed by their ancestors to do combat training for the Catpocalypse.
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