'She felt entitled to a "free" vacation?': Brother offers his sister a vacation if she babysits his kids, she says "absolutely not"

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 12, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

While on a family vacation, no one wants to worry about money. After all, the whole point of a vacation is to escape from reality for a little while, soak up the sun, and unwind. 

This man wrote to r/AmItheA**hole with a vacation related question. As he describes, he and his husband, their two kids, and their sister in law, are planning an expensive trip to a resort. The price is so high that the OP's sister, Camila, was wondering if he could pay her way. Camila is a college student who's not working and living with the OP's parents still — but the vacation costs $2000! The OP came up with what he thought was a good solution, but Camila still found his proposal offensive. 

In the comments, people debated the issue and pointed out that both sides have approached this with different intentions. While the OP thought he was giving his sister a relaxing and mostly free vacation, some commenters said that wouldn't be very fun or fair to a college student just about to start a career if she spent time babysitting. But then again, the OP asked for seemingly just a few hours per week of babysitting a 10 and 8 year old. The pay rate for his sister is super high! Commenters jokingly offered their own babysitting services in exchange for a bougie vacation. 

Next up, check out these eye-opening top secret confessions. 

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  • 01
    Water - MONA MMMY WOLLE
    via Edvin Johansson on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - Posted by u/Stock-Campaign8854 8 hours ago r/AmItheA 2 AITA for not paying for my sister's vacation because she won't agree to babysit? My (32m) family is planning a vacation for this summer. Both my parents, my older brother and my SIL, my younger sister Camila (22f) and my husband, my 2 kids (10f and 8m) and I are all planing to go.
    via u/Stock-Campaign8854
  • 03
    Font - We are planning to stay in a resort for 2 weeks. This will obviously be a bit expensive (at least 2k USD per person and that is an enormous amount of money in my currency). Camila is in her last semester of university and will start a full time job on August. Right now she's not working and lives with my parents (not passing judgment on her for being unemployed because my brother and I went through the same at her age).
    via u/Stock-Campaign8854
  • 04
    Font - Camila called me last week to ask if we could pay for her ticket and accomodation (my parents would pay for food and activities). My husband and I can comfortably afford our family, but adding Camila would put financial pressure on us. I told her that I would discuss it with my husband and then I would call her.
    via u/Stock-Campaign8854
  • 05
    Font - So my husband and I agreed that we would be willing to pay for her if she would babysit our children on certain occasions. Of course, not every day and without notice, but at least twice a week for two hours for two months. She would basically be the replacement for our current babysitter.
    via u/Stock-Campaign8854
  • 06
    Font - Anyway, I texted her basically saying what I just wrote, and she replied "Absolutely not." So I called her to ask why she was so against this arrangement, which I think benefits both of us: she gets to go on vacation and we have a babysitter we trust and don't spend more than our monthly budget.
    via u/Stock-Campaign8854
  • 07
    Font - Camila said that we were manipulating her into doing unpaid labor to us and forcing her to say yes because neither our brother or parents could afford to pay for her. She also said that she's way to busy with her last semester of uni and finals. I told her that she could do all of her school stuff in our house, my children are very well behaved and need very little supervision, but she still said that she wouldn't do it. So I then told her that I was very sorry but if she didn't accept th
    via u/Stock-Campaign8854
  • 08
    Font - So now she's incredibly mad at me. But now my mom is also angry with me because she wants to have a family vacation and she knows my husband and I do have the money to pay for Camila, and "family helps family", which I agree with, but I believe that help must be reciprocal and right now Camila is not reciprocating that help. My brother and dad just want to settle this down, they are not taking sides.
    via u/Stock-Campaign8854
  • 09
    Font - floppybunny86 . 7 hr. ago Parta ant [4] NTA. Lol "Unpaid labor"?! Did she miss the part where her pay was a $2k holiday? This is a win win for both of you. In fact, she comes out slightly more on top from the whole deal.
    via u/floppybunny86
  • 10
    Font - ADuckNamed Phil. 6 hr. ago. edited 1 hr. ago A Enthusiast [8] If she babysits 2 hrs per day, twice a week she winds up spending 4 hours per week babysitting. Multiply the 4 hrs per week by 8 weeks (2 mo) and it comes out that Sister would owe 46 32 hours of babysitting in total. $2,000 for ¹6 32 hours of babysitting shakes out to a rate of $125 $62.50 per hour ETA: sorry guys, it's late and I should be asleep. Clearly my math skills aren't on point right now. Still a d ed good rate, thoug
    via u/ADuckNamedPhil:
  • 11
    Font - Hehehe_Blebleble. 6 hr. ago Can I babysit for op please
    via u/Hehehe_Blebleble
  • 12
    Font - empathetic_tomatoes 2 hr. ago Yes OP! Send this math to your mom. "We cannot afford to pay for her and stay with our monthly budget. If we no longer need a sitter, that will free up some of our money so that we could afford to pay for her. However we have to have a sitter. The offer we made for her is the equivalent of paying her $62.50 an hour, for 32 hours over a 2 month period. I feel this is not only fair, but is a win win for everyone. We
    via u/empathetic_tomatoes
  • 13
    Font - win win for everyone. We don't just have $2k to spare despite what you may think of our financial situation. We are trying to make this work for everyone. If you have other suggestions on how she can repay the costs without us going over budget, we are open to a discussion, but not one where we are treated like we are being abusive or trying to use her"
    via u/empathetic_tomatoes
  • 14
    Font - Justcommenting121 - 3 hr. ago Parta ant [1] Actually phrasing it like that might not be a bad idea. OP, explain it like that and then retract your offer of paying for the vacation outright. She doesn't want you to use her as free labor then okay. Hire her as a babysitter with that rate. At the end of the two months she should be able to pay for the vacation. You're still paying for it but if sister wants to add 10 extra steps for the same end result then sure. Just put a cap at $2k
    via u/Justcommenting121
  • 15
    Font - corruptshin 1 hr. ago Just sounds like the sister needs more schooling if she isn't able to calculate this herself. Plus, she felt entitled to a "free" vacation...? Sounds like she has zero plans to return the generosity and sounds ungrateful. OP is 100 NTA.
    via u/corruptshin
  • 16
    Handwriting - Aware-Ad-9095 - 3 hr. ago OP should lay this out for his sister.
    via u/Aware-Ad-9095
  • 17
    Font - gnothro 8 hr. ago Professor Emeritas [95] ΝΤΑ 4h a week, for let's call it 8 weeks for easy math, that's 32 hours. For $2k... and she said no. I hope her new career is going to be as a highly paid neurosurgeon or something if that's the sort of money she TURNS DOWN. 963 Reply Share ... Stock-Campaign8854 OP. 6 hr. ago No, she's not a neurosurgeon. She is graduating with a degree in mechatronics engineering (I don't know if that is the word in English). I don't really know what her work wi
    via u/gnothro
  • 18
    Font - debtopramenschultz · 7 hr. ago ΝΤΑ Camila said that we were manipulating her into doing unpaid labor to us It's not unpaid. She's getting a vacation. But now my mom is also angry with me because she wants to have a family vacation Tell them to pay for it, and if they can't then go somewhere cheaper.
    via u/debtopramenschultz
  • 19
    Font - I_love_misery 6 hr. ago For real, the vacation is a luxury. A want not a need. I don't expect my siblings to hand me over money for a want without repaying them in some way. Op isn't asking to babysit a lot. Just 4 hrs a week for two months. That sounds like a good deal to me.
    via u/I_love_misery
  • 20
    Gesture - . calligrafiddler 1 hr. ago A great deal. That's $2000 for you count those hours --if cumulatively-one week of part-time work.
    via u/calligrafiddler
  • 21
    Font - The MightyKoosh - 6 hr. ago Not an a for not paying if she won't babysit - that's fair. But I do think whoever planned this holiday is an a for planning such an expensive holiday when it's obvious that one family member is going to be unable to afford it and therefore will be excluded. Can you offer for the deal to start after her finals?
    via u/TheMightyKoosh
  • 22
    Font - TheKingmaker__. 4 hr. ago Yeah as a final year student I would hate the situation I'd be in if I were the 22 here. "Everyone in the family is going on a holiday you obviously can't afford, right at one of the most stressful and important times in your life thus far - but we'll pay for it for you if you do even more work during your last semester" Like don't get me wrong monetarily it is in her favour but I don't think shes dumb to turn it down for her own peace of mind/free time during th
    via u/TheKingmaker__
  • 23
    Font - Also OP almost deriding his sister by saying "she's not working right now" when she is at college for a couple more months and then has a job lined up 4 months away... This is the kind of situation where a post from the sister would have a very different response I think - "AITA for telling my brother I won't do babysitting during my finals in return for him paying for the holiday he planned during my finals".
    via u/TheKingmaker__

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