'You're risking their marriage' : Entitled Karen MIL with Superiority Complex Pressures DIL to Let Her Move In to Help with Upcoming Baby, Despite DIL's Repeated Objections for Alone Time

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/Ill-Role-5933 18 hours ago ♫ AITA for "pressuring" my daughter in law to let me help her during her pregnancy? A hole
  • 02
    Font - We live in the US. I (f) have two kids Kylie (f28) and Chris (m25), both of them are married. My daughter has two kids (m5 and m2) I had helped her though both of her pregnancies as that was something she wanted. I stayed over at her and her husband's house for about a month for both pregnancies.
  • 03
    Font - My son got married to a foreign girl Camila (f24), she's from latin america. They announced a couple months ago that they're expecting their first baby. Camila has no family here so we're really her only family in the country. I told her to count of me for whatever she needed with the pregnancy since I know that first pregnancies can be scary if you're alone. She thanked me and sometimes calls me to know if something's normal, or she tells me that she feels "X" thing and asks if she shoul
  • 04
    Font - She's now close to the 30 weeks now. We celebrated her baby shower last weekend with friends and family. The baby shower was held in my house, after everyone left my son, her and my daughter's family stayed over to have dinner together. I asked Camila if her mom will come to visit and help her though the delivery and postpartum weeks to which she said she wasn't going to since her mom works and it's not something that people use to do in Uruguay (her native country) because couple's trend
  • 05
    Font - I told her that sounds sad, to be all alone, I told her that here is rather common for grandma's to go and help around when a baby's born, that I did it for my daughter like my mom did it for me and etc. I told her that I could help her if she wants, I can go stay over at her house for a couple weeks before the birth so she can rest. I can cook, do laundry, clean and all those stuff so she doesn't have to. And then I can stay over after the baby is here to continue helping with the house
  • 06
    Font - I told her that there are some stuff that he will not be able to do either (like helping with postpartum) and that they're both first time parents so both of them have a lot to learn and it's helpful to have someone who already did it around. My son agreed, he said that's true and that he won't be able to provide the same help and support that another mother can. We continued talking a bit more about that until she said its ok for me to help. They left after dinner.
  • 07
    Font - My daughter stayed a bit over because she wanted to talk to me. she said I was overstepping because camila was obviously very uncomfortable with me staying over and that will add stress to her. she said I'm not respecting her wishes of having alone time after the birth like she's used to. She also said I basically pressured her into telling me what I wanted to hear. Is she right about all of this? I just want to help them out
  • 08
    Font - pottersquash. 18 hr. ago Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [328] YTA. You: This is how we do it. Her: This is how we do it. 2 & 8 More You: Your way is sad and wrong. My way better. Her: We will still do it our way. You: Your way won't work. It won't I say. My way is superior. Son: Sure mom, your way has benefits. You: See??? My way!! MY WAY!!! Her: Fine. Sure. Daughter: Voice of Reason. She is 100% right. Even if you just want to help out, you were rude, insulting and badgering. What is your
  • 09
    Font - StrangledIn Moonlight 14 hr. ago Partassipant [3] She's risking the marriage between DIL and her son too... pushing DIL into this could cause resentment and all sorts of issues surrounding the baby and birth that could fracture the marriage.
  • 10
    Font - Moonnightworald 14 hr. ago I'm actually wondering if the daughter DID want her there after her reaction to her pushy mother. YTA
  • 11
    Font - Modelminority115. 13 hr. ago I knew she was TA the second I saw the quotation marks in the title
  • 12
    Font - ParkingOutside6500 12 hr. ago I knew when she referred to her DIL as a "foreign girl."
  • 13
    Font - Infamous-Purple-3131. 11 hr. ago Not only that, but OP kind of implies that mother or mother in law moving in for a couple of weeks before the baby is born is the way it is done here in the US. I don't know anyone who did that. Also, neither of my sisters had either grandmother move in after the baby was born. So the fact that dil is from another country is a non issue anyway.
  • 14
    Font - Westward_Sloth 10 hr. ago I just keep thinking how easy it would have been to say, "Hey, I respect that you want it to just be you and my son after the birth. If you change your mind or need anything at all I'm only a phone call away." Keep the door to support open while putting the control in the new mother's hands.
  • 15
    Font - Accomplished-Yam6553 12 hr. ago Yeah seriously, instead of constantly trying to involve yourself op, let her know 1 time that is she needs anything she can call you. Let her ask for help don't berate her trying to be the helpful police. YTA
  • 16
    Font - Moningfever 11 hr. ago Stop trying to control your DIL. You basically bullied her into letting you have your way. You stumped all over her boundary. Back off! If she wants your "help" then she will ask. YTA Can anyone say "JUST NO MIL"?

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