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01
"Trying to sleep after a night shift and Thor kept biting my toes and waking me up because I was in bed during the day against his wishes!"
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02
'“Well…? That b*tthole’s not gonna lick itself.”'
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03
"My DoorDash driver said..."
"My DoorDash driver said he couldn't deliver my food because my cat was blocking his way… In the Dasher's defense, the cat does walk in front of people. Seems pretty strange that he couldn't maneuver around the cat though. Hmmm"
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04
"She UNZIPS MY PURSE to get in it even though she knows she ISNT ALLOWED."
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05
"Today, Madison figured out how to open doors using the handle. All so she can break into the spare room and sleep in laundry."
"She darted out the front door of our house a few weeks back and engaged my wife in a 10 minute chase around the neighbourhood so she wears an AirTag in case she tries to escape again. She had never done it before and has not done it since. Further proving my point - she's an assh*le."
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06
"The Seat was already taken. Who Cares? Not Luna."
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07
"My friends sayd its fun to have a cat…. First day !!!?"
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08
"Stole my heating pad while I’m suffering from back pain."
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09
"This AH just destroyed a spreadsheet & offers zero ounce of apology"
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10
"He’s mad at me because I saw him catch a baby chipmunk and I forced him to let it go"
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11
"I’ve been wondering why Malcolm’s toys keep disappearing.. turns out he’s been storing them under the oven."
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12
"Welcome back to another episode of "My Cat is an Idiot and an Assh*le""
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13
"The very face of innocence. Totally unrelated: A little bit of butter went missing from my brunch when I wasn't looking."
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14
"Our AirBnB hosts had decorated and hidden many Easter eggs around the garden. This asshole (Raffaello) decided to find them all and smash them."
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15
"Typical cats behaviour :)"
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16
"The joys of WFH"
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17
"Proofreading stops now"
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18
"You don't mind, do you hooman?"
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