20+ Marriage Fails for Bickering Couples

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  • 01
    Rectangle - David Hughes @david8hughes Follow Me: theres a man outside fighting with water Wife: the neighbour? Me: yes Wife: is he in the pool? Me: yes Wife: again, its called swimming
  • 02
    Rectangle - Br&on the Cow @Brampersandon_ FRIEND: what was the best day of ur life WIFE: our wedding day ME (thinking of the time the Coke machine gave me 2 cans instead of 1): same 27 576 1.3K
  • 03
    Rectangle - Max Dylan Ash @mynameisntdave 4 ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl* 13,324 Follow 21,593
  • 04
    Rectangle - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Me: I'm so ready for the kids' Christmas pageant. Wife: *confiscates my flask* Me: OK, now I'm ready. Wife: *confiscates my backup flask* OLEDROVEO RETWEETS 286 27 LIKES 2,708 286 2.7K Follow
  • 05
    Rectangle - The Pale Space Rider @truegritrumble WIFE: Don't go into the ball pit with the kids. You always lose your keys. ME: *already in the ball pit* You're not going to believe this. RETWEETS LIKES 5,739 36 7,268 17 5.7K Follow 7.3K ...
  • 06
    Product - Bear Knee Sanders @LeBearGirdle Wife: can you pick up milk? Me: [lifts gallon] yea it's easy Wife: I mean from the store Me: I would imagine it weighs the same there too RETWEETS LIKES 3,749 6,816 434 27 3.7K Follow 6.8K
  • 07
    Rectangle - Rob @rockymomax [baby crying] WIFE: take him outside so he stops ME: ok [walks back in] WIFE: where is he ME: Jim's yard next door WIFE: perfect RETWEETS LIKES 30 158 1 27 30 158 500 Follow
  • 08
    Font - garbage island kyle @hippieswordfish ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong RETWEETS LIKES 8,745 14,851
  • 09
    Font - eric @ericsshadow ME: I had salmon for lunch. WIFE: the L is silent. ME: Ha, I knew that. I meant unch. RETWEETS LIKES 769 12 1,340 27 769 1.3K 800 Follow
  • 10
    Rectangle - Floyd @dafloydsta WIFE: I think the milk has gone bad *opens fridge and sees milk in a leather jacket smoking a cig* ME: holy RETWEETS LIKES 966 10 1,710 17 966 1.7K 000 Follow GM
  • 11
    Font - Josh @iwearaonesie [texting] me: I just left and I already miss you wife *typing response* me: (can you read that to the dog for me) RETWEETS LIKES 207 350 2207 350 ... Follow
  • 12
    Rectangle - John Darby @mrjohndarby Wife: I've told you, the dog CAN'T talk Me: Watch! Name an item of clothing. Dog: [pants] W: I'm leaving you D: Ah c'mon that was clever LIKES 184 7:38 PM-22 Dec 2016 41 27 69 RETWEETS 69 184 www OR Follow
  • 13
    Rectangle - Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn [out in public] Me: A kid is crying. Wife: It's not one of ours. [we fist bump] 793 2,355 Follow
  • 14
    Font - Simon Holland @simoncholland I feel bad that my wife lost the thermostat negotiations but it's hilarious to watch her eat dinner in mittens. Oops dropped her fork again. 17 60 226
  • 15
    Rectangle - Kalvin @KalvinMacleod WIFE: *tightens tie* the shoes really make the man ME: WIFE: *tightens tie* ME: WIFE: *tightens tie* ME: *gasping* I'll take off the sandals RETWEETS LIKES 77 225 23 77 225 - Follow ***
  • 16
    Rectangle - Br&on the Cow @Brampersandon_ WIFE: I like to be serious but he likes to joke around. So we often butt heads. ME: lol she said butt THERAPIST: lol nice *high 5s me* 27 19 78 ...
  • 17
    Rectangle - Rob @rockymomax WIFE: let's see a movie ME: I know something better we can do in the dark *winks* [cut to me destroying her in laser tag] ME: WWWOOO000000 RETWEETS 285 LIKES 835 23 285 835 ... Follow
  • 18
    Rectangle - Kalvin @KalvinMacleod WIFE: you didn't use my shampoo again did you? ME: *shakes my head no but my lustrous hair gives me away* 27 151 386 ***
  • 19
    Rectangle - Andy H. @AndyAsAdjective therapist: so why do you want to end your marriage? wife: I hate the constant star wars puns husband: divorce is strong with this one RETWEETS LIKES 2,138 2,988
  • 20
    Rectangle - The Pan-Midwesterner Retweeted Sinistral Sasquatch @_sinistroll - Jan 3 WIFE: He makes everything into a wood pun ME: This couch has such great lumber support WIFE: See?? THERAPIST: Try to stop ME: Oakey dokey 2745 138
  • 21
    Rectangle - Floyd @dafloydsta WIFE: Let's talk about your passive-aggressive behavior. ME: Or we could talk about the fact that no one likes you, Karen. 17 429 884
  • 22
    Font - Merlot's BFF Retweeted Josh @iwearaonesie wife: Can you test the baby monitor? me *goes into toddlers room* *starts telling yo' mama jokes* *turns around* wife me wife me: It works 42 23 144 348
  • 23
    Font - D James Breakwell @XplodingUnicom- Jan 2 Wife: *points to 2-year-old* She's eating chips for breakfast! Me: I didn't let her. Wife: Me: I was eating them and she overpowered me. +17 27 334 2.7K
  • 24
    Rectangle - keith @tchrquotes Me: Look, I love you, But I made exactly the amount of cheese & crackers I want to eat right now. Wife: But I only... Me: EXACTLY the amount RETWEETS LIKES 2,255 3,977

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