'I feel taken advantage of': Car owner refuses to lend his vehicle to single mom after she dents it, neighborhood turns on him

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
May 24, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

Always be cautious who you let drive your car. Vehicles are pricey not just to purchase, but also to maintain. After that initial purchase, you still have to fill it up with gas and deal with any fender benders that might occur. That's enough for one person to deal with, but this guy lent his car to his neighbor, and she is far from gentle with his car. 

The OP shared the story with r/AmItheA**hole, seeking judgement for if he's been too harsh about revoking this woman's car privileges. However, it was a near-unanimous vote of "not the a**hole." This guy should definitely enlist his other neighbors to help this woman out next time she asks to take his vehicle out for a spin. Other folks in the comments pointed out that she's even a liability for the OP, since she's proven to be reckless behind the wheel. 

Next, these bosses told the tales of their employees' craziest reactions to being fired. 

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  • 01
    Purple - 'One day she asked if she could borrow my car for a day for an emergency. I agreed...This, however, soon turned into a regular occurrence'
    via CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - r/AmItheA . Posted by u/MyNameIsNotMax79 AITA for not allowing my neighbor to use my car anymore? Not the A-hole I (38M) have a neighbor (45F) who I've been fairly friendly with over the past couple of years. We live in a suburban neighborhood, and since I usually work from home, my car often sits in the driveway.
    via u/MyNameIsNotMax79
  • 03
    Font - A few months ago, her car was totaled in an accident, and since then, she has been struggling to get a new one due to her financial situation. One day she asked if she could borrow my car for a day for an emergency. I agreed, as it wasn't a big deal for me. This, however, soon turned into a regular occurrence, with her asking to borrow my car almost every other day for various reasons - grocery shopping, picking up her kids, attending meetings, etc.
    via u/MyNameIsNotMax79
  • 04
    Font - Initially, I didn't mind as I wanted to help, but it started to become inconvenient. I felt like she was taking advantage of my generosity. On top of that, I noticed that she was not treating my car respectfully - leaving trash inside, not filling up the gas, and even causing a minor dent.
    via u/MyNameIsNotMax79
  • 05
    Font - I decided to address this with her and told her she could no longer borrow my car. She seemed taken aback and became upset, stating that she had grown reliant on my assistance, and I was being selfish for suddenly denying her access.
    via u/MyNameIsNotMax79
  • 06
    Font - Several other neighbors have now heard about our spat and believe that I was overly harsh, as she is a single mother struggling to juggle various responsibilities. But I feel my vehicle was being misused and taken for granted.
    via u/MyNameIsNotMax79
  • 07
    Font - I'm trying to be understanding, but at the same time, I feel taken advantage of. So, AITA for not allowing my neighbor to use my car anymore?
    via u/MyNameIsNotMax79
  • 08
    Font - latents Certified Proctologist [22] Several other neighbors have now heard about our spat and believe that I was overly harsh, as she is a single mother struggling to juggle various responsibilities. I am glad that they are volunteering to give her their cars and therefore the problem is resolved.
    via u/latents
  • 09
    Font - She knew this was not a permanent gift - it was a very temporary generous loan. I realize that she likely had extremely limited options, but that would have been a reason to make sure she was making this as easy as possible for you, so it could run as long as possible. Was the dent satisfactorily and apologetically explained or might there be a potential hit and run waiting to be discovered? NTA to make sure you can use your own car and not have to worry about what is happening when she w
    via u/latents
  • 10
    Font - AndSoIt Goes24. Colo-rectal Surgeon [3... I am not loaning my car to a neighbor. Heck, I don't loan my car to my kids if they abuse or mistreat the privilege. WTH?
    via u/AndSoItGoes24
  • 11
    Font - belginiusI Partas pant [1] Not to mention liability if the insurance company isn't aware it is being drivin by a non family member.
    via u/belginiusI
  • 12
    Font - tinaciv As plan B: they can all pitch in with what you already spent on gas, car cleaning and fixing that dent Io help her buy her own car
    via u/tinaciv
  • 13
    Font - crystallz2000 Parta: pant [1] NTA. All of this. The NEIGHBORS can take on the liability of letting her use their cars. OP, I would never let someone outside of family use my car. Do you think if this woman caused an accident, she'd pay for it? No way. Then, "she's a single mother, she doesn't have the money," would come into play. Never let anyone use your car again.
    via u/crystallz2000
  • 14
    Font - solo_throwaway254247 Certified Proctologist [... The neighbours can come up with a schedule and take turns loaning her their cars for the day. ΝΤΑ
    via u/solo_throwaway254247
  • 15
    Font - mauvemountain Parta____pant [3]] Yeah, wait until she has an accident and YOU GET SUED AND YOUR INSURANCE DENIES YOUR COVERAGE BECAUSE SHE IS NOT AN APPROVED DRIVER, AND THEN SHE SUES YOU FOR HER OWN DAMAGES. ΝΤΑ.
    via u/mauvemountain
  • 16
    Font - Hortense Daigle. A Enthusiast [7] i mean her original collision is the first red flag. If she wasn't at fault, then she should have had her car replaced in a reasonable amount of time. That she is indefinitely out of a car implies that a) she was at fault and can't recover the costs and/or she did receive a payout and didn't use the money wisely to get another car. She sounds like a liability.
    via u/HortenseDaigle
  • 17
    Font - JegHaderStatistik. Pooperintendant [51] NTA "stating that she had grown reliant on my assistance" can anyone direct me to where thats OP's problem? Youve already gone above and beyond letting her borrow it so much, and she just direspected you for the exact reasons you mentioned.
    via u/JegHaderStatistik
  • 18
    Font - squeakity99 I also took that as she was probably hoping to get his car permanently. OP states they work from home and the car usually just sits in the driveway. So compare his infrequent needs to her daily, frequent ones, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she started thinking he would just give her the car permanently. It even already sounds like she was starting to treat the car like her own anyway. NTA OP and I'd double check to make sure she didn't make a copy of your car keys.
    via u/squeakity99
  • 19
    Font - Sha-Nanegins A Enthusiast [9]| NTA. You are being taken advantage of. If my neighbors were kind enough to let me use their car, I would feel responsible to at least offer gas money or bring it back with a full tank and return it clean. And if I knew it was dented while I was driving, to go to them immediately and let them know (if it were something like a shopping cart dent) and offer to file a claim with my insurance if it were substantial.
    via u/Sha-Nanegins

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