Weekly Internet Roundup: Husband Nachos, Bluesky Invite Codes, and a Totally British Non-Fugitive

Hello again, and welcome to another edition of the internet roundup. Once again, we're here to summarize a few headlines from social media and beyond this week. I regret to inform you that the uniting theme in much of the news today is acting like a baby. Oh, and the looming threat of Twitter 2.0. Let's take a look.

Elon Musk and the Toddler RP Alt

As it turns out, the greatest public injustice for X AE A-12 is no longer the name he has been given. It's the fact that up until recently, his dad appeared to be roleplaying as him on his burner Twitter account. 

Influential Twitter user Hurt CoPain recently claimed to have figured out the billionaire's alt thanks to a screenshot he posted to boast about the number of Twitter Blue subscribers. Highlights included begging people to follow him, and responding to the unfunny memes on his main. And all under the guise of one of his youngest children. Normal!

Arthur Knight, the Most British Man in Existence

In what will surely be the pinnacle of a critically lauded docuseries one day, American fugitive Nicholas Alahverdian gave a heart wrenching performance on Dateline this week insisting he is a British man called Arthur Knight who can't even stand up. 

Alahverdian was accused of raping a woman in Utah in 2008, leading to him faking his death and fleeing to Scotland six years ago. Adamant of his new identity and claiming that the negative media attention is harming his fragile health, the whole story is the living embodiment of truth being stranger than fiction. Styling himself like a bootleg Jacob Rees-Mogg is the least of his worries.

Another L For the Marriage PR Machine

Relationships are complicated, especially when one you is a TikTok mommy and the other is an out and proud man child. One dedicated wife found her marriage in the firing line a few days ago after she posted about making nachos for her husband after he refused to eat her initial dinner offering of salmon. 

Blaming his mom for not making him try new foods as a kid and serving up the meal to her dead-eyed man wrapped up in a blanky on the couch, viewers were almost universally horrified by just about everything happening. While this might be many women's idea of hell, she sure seems like she's happy to be a part of it. I hope.

2007 Twitter DOOP

The thing about Elon running Twitter into the ground is that there are people who feel like they can't live without it. For all that it is massively unprofitable and a breeding ground for the most annoying main characters ever, it is one of the few mainstream places left that thrives on the power of text. 

Ever since it changed hands, many dedicated users have been holding out for an acceptable alternative. Some floated the idea of Mastodon, but then there were complaints of it being too difficult to use and free of drama. There was also Hive, but that didn't seem to catch on either. Then former Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey came up with Bluesky — essentially old school Twitter with fewer features. 

Users currently have to be invited to get on the app, so of course this combination of nostalgia and exclusivity has bird app addicts foaming at the mouth for access. It hasn't stopped the chosen ones from reporting back on what it's like on the other side, though.

That's all we're going to cover for today. Let us pray that the internet gods are benevolently evil enough over the next few days to give us yet more ridiculous topics of conversation. Until next time!