Mother Skips Daughters Graduation Because Her Oldest Daughter Gave Birth The Night Before

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
May 24, 2023 4:00 PM EDT

No parent wants to have to choose between children during important moments in their lives. People can plan around this as much as they want, making sure weddings don't fall on milestone birthdays, etc. However, sometimes nature takes its course, and babies are born on graduation days. One recent grad was put in this situation, and her mom chose not to attend her graduation. This would make sense if the baby were literally born as she got handed her diploma, but that wasn't the case. Her older sister gave birth over 12 hours before the graduation ceremony. The birth had no complications, and the baby's father's family was also at the hospital. Everything lined up to allow both parents to attend their younger daughters' graduation ceremony, and yet, the mother decided to skip it. Reddit users weighed in to answer if the youngest daughter was the bad guy with a resounding "no." 

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  • 01
    Font - 2 r/AmltheAsshole u/aggressive-winter-24 • 10h AITA for telling my mom I was upset she missed my graduation because my sister had a baby?
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 02
    Font - Throwaway account. My (27f) sister (301f) just had her first baby on Sunday morning at 2:30am. It was thankfully a smooth delivery and she and my nephew are happy and healthy. My mom, my dad, me, my sister's husband, and my sister's MIL were all at the hospital (per my sister's request) from around midnight on sunday and the remainder of the day.
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 03
    Font - Well, my graduation from grad school was on Sunday as well at 4pm. At around 2pm, me and my parents went down to grab lunch from the cafeteria and i realized the time. I asked my parents if they wanted to just meet me at the graduation because I needed to go home and get ready first. My mom looked at me funny and said "you can't really expect me to leave your sister and my grandbaby right now." I didn't know what to say, but my dad just told me to go get ready and they would meet me there
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 04
    Font - So I went to graduation and afterwards I look for my family and sure enough my mom did not come (my dad did!). I was upset because I won an award from my program director and gave a speech in which I thanked her specifically and she missed the whole thing.
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 05
    Font - I got back to the hospital and didn't really talk to my mom because I didn't want to make a scene or stress out my sister. Last night my mom called me and I expressed to her how hurt I was, and she said I'm being selfish and need to realize my sister just gave birth and that's more important even though she is proud of me. I ended up hanging up.
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 06
    Font - I guess my thought process is that at the point where it was time to leave, the baby had been born for 12 hours and we spent most of that time with the baby/my sister when they were awake (and I'm glad we did- not complaining). My plan was just to go to graduation and pick up my sisters favorite pizza (she was craving it) on the way back and eat with her. My dad and I did just that and in total my father was away from the hospital for right around 3 hours.
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 07
    Font - I understand that giving birth is a huge deal and I'm so proud of my sister. I don't mean to act like my graduation was more important. I just feel like there wasn't a need to chose and my mother could have done both because my dad did. My sister had her husband and MIL that would have been with her. I just had my dad and while I'm grateful he came I wish my mom would have too. My dad agrees with me that my mom should have came, and my sister apologized for "stealing the spotlight" to whi
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 08
    Font - missdannyalvz. 9h Partassipant [1] NTA. Your mom had no reason to skip your graduation. She wasn't needed at the hospital, and the birth had already happened and she met the baby hours and hours before. Your sister likely needed some time to rest anyways. Don't downplay your accomplishments either! Yes your sister's labor was important but your graduation is extremely important too. Your mom should have been there for you. Your feelings are completely justified. You deserved better. Reply
    via u/missdannyalvz
  • 09
    Font - bialymarshal . 8h People are never needed at hospital - unless they are doctors there It's weird for me that people say "I have to be there" while they sit in the waiting room 5k
    via u/bialymarshal
  • 10
    Font - WestCoast_Redneck. 8h The OP said it went smoothly. The mom could have left for 3 hours, went to the graduation and came back. This would have allowed the sis and new baby to bond without anyone there. Just like the birth, this graduation happens once in a lifetime. The mom could have supported both as baby was born already. NTA 1k ↓
    via u/WestCoast_Redneck
  • 11
    Font - Derpazor1 . 8h It's sad that mom dismissed her graduation so harshly. Like it wasn't even a question. Why create a situation from nothing where you state which event is clearly more important at all. Hurtful ... 256
    via u/Derpazor1
  • 12
    Font - Brainjacker 9h Asshole Aficionado [17] 1 Award NTA. Your thought process was reasonable, your dad agreed, the baby was born without complications, your sister didn't complain, your mom would have only been gone for three hours, and - most importantly - when you tried to bring up your feelings she shut you down and called you selfish. I'm sorry she let you down. Congrats on your graduation and award! Reply 6.8k
    via u/Brainjacker
  • 13
    Font - perceptionheadache. 5h I think the most hurtful thing is that OP's mom called her selfish after OP made a special note to thank her mom in her speech. It seems like the appreciation of one another does not go both ways. 41.4K
    via u/perceptionheadache
  • 14
    Font - Hekili808 9h Partassipant [2] ● NTA. Unless your sister actually is 301 years old, your mother could've safely attended your graduation and also supported your sister without risk to anyone. Nobody forced them to be competing priorities except your mom. If anything, your sister could've probably used some rest and recovery time. Your mom could've viewed the whole weekend as a huge blessing because of both events, but she couldn't help but rank them and then blame you for having feelings a
    via u/Hekili808
  • 15
    Font - aggressive-winter-24 OP. 9h Lol, my bad. She's 31! But this is exactly why I am upset. I agree that if push comes to shove and she had to pick she should pick my sister and that was something that was discussed all through the night. But she didn't have to pick and yet she did. It makes me feel like it never mattered to her. 1.3k
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 16
    Font - Gullible-Ad8931. 9h Partassipant [2] ΝΤΑ How can a parent fail a child like that? Your graduation just like your sister's birth are both once in a lifetime events. Your mother failed you as a parent, because your sister had already given birth and she had time to attend your graduation. Your mom got exactly what she deserved from you. Reply 748
    via u/Gullible-Ad8931
  • 17
    Font - . 8h NixKlappt-Reddit Asshole Enthusiast [8] ΝΤΑ I am glad that your dad attended. It doesn't make any difference if she would have been with your sister or not. She could have spend some hours to attend your gradutation. But your mother seem to have "getting grandchildren" as highest prio why she forgot that she has another kid with feelings. I can totally understand that you are upset. Did you also thank your father in your speech or only your mother? Nevertheless, congratulations! ...
    via u/NixKlappt-Reddit
  • 18
    Font - aggressive-winter-24 OP. 8h I thanked him as well! I just specifically talked about my mother because I'm following in her footsteps career wise so I talked about how watching her in our field as a kid inspired me. 156 ↓
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 19
    Font - Inevitable-Okra-3229 8h Partassipant [1] NTA and realistically your sister and baby would have most likely been asleep too. Your mother screwed up and screwed up bad. I have to wonder has she always preferred your sister? Reply 94
    via u/Inevitable-Okra-3229
  • 20
    Font - aggressive-winter-24 OP 8h . Honestly, growing up, no she didn't. But ever since my sister got pregnant she has, but I feel like that's understandable and somewhat normal. It hasn't bothered me until now. 111
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 21
    Font - ETA: I wanted to address a couple things/ answer some questions: - My sister was totally okay with my parents leaving for a few hours, according to my dad. He told me while we were picking up the pizza that my sister told my mom it was fine and to go. I haven't talked to my sister about it because she shouldn't even be thinking about this right now she has enough on her plate.
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 22
    Font - -I understand some people think graduations are stupid, or maybe even childish. If I had just been walking across the stage for a few seconds and that was it this wouldn't really bother me. I was given an award and gave a speech in which I recognized my parents but mainly my mom because I am "following in her footsteps" and entering the same field she is in. It was special to me for her to hear me acknowledge her and to see me do that. Maybe that's still stupid to some, but ti wasn't to m
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 23
    Font - -Lastly, idk about any drama between MIL and our mom. I know husband thinks my mom is nosey, and he might have relayed that to MIL and it might be a thing. But MIL lives far away and so she doesn't come to gatherings or anything that often. I think the last time my mom had any meaningful interaction with her was at my sister's wedding two years ago.
    via u/aggressive-winter-24
  • 24
    Font - UPDATE: I want to thank all of you for your kind words. My sister is at home as of last night and she called me this morning after I posted and asked me to bring her some things, so I did. She surprised me with a graduation gift (because she's the sweetest soul on the planet). She said that she and my father had a conversation with my mom this morning about how she needed to apologize to me. I haven't heard from my mom but my dad wants the three of us to go to dinner tonight. Thank you al
    via u/aggressive-winter-24

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childbirth aita graduation mother sisters graduate motherhood moms parenting birth reddit thread Reddit grandmother mom Parenting Fail Parenting FAILS
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