Assorted Tweets For Fans of the Short and Sweet

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  • 01
    Product - Austin @Austaur 9:08 PM 2023-05-24 from Earth 1.6M Views Seola Quintanilla Palmer @... 2021-01-18 do y'all have "forbidden" pairs you think look alike but also know NO one else is gonna agree? Show this thread 2,498 Retweets 141 Quotes LATE NIGHT 41.3K Likes 307 Bookmarks SUSTION :
  • 02
    Font - Con @pochaccobebi weird but long time ago when i felt scared alone during 2-4 am i always think about bakers in their bakery who are already up during that time doing their thing 11:02 AM 2023-02-12 1M Views 63.7K Likes 7,129 Retweets 676 Quotes
  • 03
    World - kim @KimmyMonte football and soccer are like gimme the ball i want that ball but baseball is all like fuck this ball get rid of it i hate it 8:24 PM 2023-02-12 4,958 Views . 236 Likes 39 Retweets 1 Quote ...
  • 04
    Organism - Countess vampira @Draculasswife What to Do if You Wake Up and There's a Vampire Standing in Your Room STEP 1: Kiss Him 7:30 AM 2023-02-12 230K Views 7,632 Likes 1,646 Retweets 79 Quotes
  • 05
    Font - uncle june @catholicguilter I don't get why friendships nowadays can't be like Seinfeld. we're always like "let's go for drinks" but what about inviting your friend to tag along in your dental appointment? or to go to the dry cleaners? they're all lonely adults in Seinfeld like us, but they're never lonely. 3:50 PM 2023-02-12 173K Views . 7,751 Likes 782 Retweets 167 Quotes
  • 06
    Organism - bongo @bongoism i love eating dry cereal it feels like im eating dog food for boys 12:05 AM 2023-02-13 19.8K Views . 1,265 Likes 98 Retweets 3 Quotes :
  • 07
    Font - WAIMINGTON MTMENT O SK NATURA Washington State Dept. of Natural Re... @waDNR If he: -Changes his entire look for you -Travels 1,900 miles upstream to chase you -Procreates and dies -Replenishes an entire ecosystem with his carcass He's not your valentine, he's a Chinook salmon 1:18 PM 2023-02-13 161K Views 8,252 Likes 1,249 Retweets 45 Quotes
  • 08
    Font - Classical Studies Memes for Hellenistic... @CSMFHT Does Cerberus have three equal heads? Or is one the main head, and the other two are sub-woofers? 3:33 PM 2023-02-13 54.8K Views 1,253 Likes 228 Retweets 8 Quotes
  • 09
    Organism - PELERINE WILDLIFE CONSERVATION Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Con... @OKWildlife Dept girl are you an improperly stored trash receptacle? because you're bear-y attractive 5:24 PM 2023-02-13 29.5K Views 945 Likes 109 Retweets 8 Quotes
  • 10
    Font - jasminericegirl @jasminericegirl do you ever kind of give yourself a car best friend while driving like there's a car that's driving in your direction at the right speed and making all the decisions you would make so you kinda just follow along the car and you're like yeah that's my best friend? 4:50 PM 2023-02-13 63.2K Views 1,108 Likes 22 Retweets 7 Quotes
  • 11
    Font - em @coolboobs if you're reading this i've personally secured you a restful night's sleep full of honk-shoo's, mimimimi's, and the elusive zzzzzzz's 12:21 AM 2023-02-14 15K Views 492 Likes 37 Retweets
  • 12
    Font - tarachara @tara_chara there should be a place you can go if you feel like you were poorly socialized as a kid where they just do it over again this time, but better 6:30 PM 2023-02-13 58.3K Views 1,896 Likes 122 Retweets 23 Quotes
  • 13
    Map - All Romes lead to Roads COLORADO EW MEXICO United States El Paso CHIHUAHUA LOA Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps DURANGO NEBRASKA COAHUILA KANSAS Mexico Rome O TEXAS OKLAHOMA Monterrey NUEVO LEON Austin O San Antonio Dallas TAMAULIPAS Kansas City a IOWA Houston Rome O MISSOURI ARKANSAS QRome ILLI OIS LOUISIANA Chicago MISSISSIPPI New Orleans Gulf of Mexico INDIANA C Indianapolis ORome Nashville TENNESSEE KENTUCKY 4:54 PM 2023-02-14 125K Views ALABAMA 4,311 Likes 345 Retweets 11 Quotes OHIO O Rom
  • 14
    Organism - mina @kiranmayeet "She [BLANK] on my [BLANK] till I [BLANK]" is the most versatile phrase of the English language 11:29 PM 2023-02-13 132K Views 6,266 Likes 498 Retweets 75 Quotes
  • 15
    Font - Charlie @insidethesli... You either die a cutie patootie or live long enough to see yourself become a sweetie pie 7:31 PM-2023-02-14 83.5K Views 8,675 Likes 886 Retweets 30 Quotes
  • 16
    Font - JavaSok @javasok If your brain can't make serotonin, store bought (iced coffee) is fine 12:07 PM. 2023-02-15 4,144 Views 76 Likes 12 Retweets 1 Quote
  • 17
    Font - zoë @zoenoneOnone the most important thing about any relationship, romantic or platonic or familial, is that you gotta be in cahoots 12:20 AM 2023-02-15 21.3K Views 771 Likes 158 Retweets 9 Quotes
  • 18
    Font - america's lounge singer @KrangTNelson embarrassing Wile E Coyote @acmeproductsfan I will NEVER be run over and flattened by a giant steamroller, reducing me to a perfect 2 dimensional version of my original self 12:00 PM Jun 12, 1952 5 Retweets 28 Likes 27 2:58 PM 2023-02-15 51.1K Views 1,339 Likes 102 Retweets 2 Quotes ...
  • 19
    Font - charlie @chunkbardey sooo annoying when my cats bother me when i'm sleeping. though of course i'm allowed to bother them when they are because of hierarchy 3:10 PM 2023-02-15 16.5K Views 350 Likes 17 Retweets
  • 20
    Font - Owl! at the Library @SketchesbyBoze "you're going to become a cat lady living all alone in a book-filled apartment" is such a weird insult, like when a witch tries to curse you and accidentally gives you the life of your dreams. oh nooo not the cats and the books, how will I ever manage 8:09 PM 2023-02-15 21.8K Views 1,193 Likes 258 Retweets 9 Quotes
  • 21
    Font - Girl with no problems @hotpriestt my waiter asking if i want beef or eel stacie @dullache. 1d Be fr... 11:39 AM 2023-02-15 374K Views 8,965 Likes 961 Retweets 61 Quotes
  • 22
    Font - Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel i love saying "for lack of a better word" because it shows that i know there should be a better word out there but whoever made the dictionary wasn't smart enough to think of one 11:30 AM 2023-02-16 1,032 Views . 32 Likes 3 Retweets 1 Quote
  • 23
    Organism - sarah schauer @sarahschauer If I was a tattoo artist id wet the tip of my needle with my tongue like an old timey man writing with a quill on parchment 11:34 PM 2023-02-15 305K Views 8,768 Likes 310 Retweets 11 Quotes
  • 24
    Nose - cam @harleybaghdad Just left the dentist he said all of my teeth look like this 12:38 PM 2023-02-16 118K Views . 6,039 Likes 338 Retweets 7 Quotes
  • 25
    Font - depths of wikipedia @depthsofwiki we need to bring this back WIKIPEDIA T Got the morbs Article Talk Got the morbs (1880) is a Victorian era slang or euphemism. The phrase describes a person afflicted with temporary melancholy or sadness. The term was defined in James Redding Ware's 1909 book Passing English of the Victorian Era. Got the morbs (Soc., 1880). Temporary melancholia. Abstract noun coined from adjective morbid. . Dictionary definition for "Got the Morbs" (1909) 7:58 PM 2023-02-
  • 26
    Font - kat @gothgoblin they should invent mutuals that live in your city. like you go out together and do things irl?? that'd be so crazy 5:16 PM 2023-02-16 8,950 Views 379 Likes 40 Retweets 7 Quotes
  • 27
    Organism - Bread Pyramid Thing @redpyrameadhead It's always "How Paul Rudd transformed for Ant Man" or "Chris Hemsworth's diet and training for Thor." What I wanna know is what Bradley Cooper did to become a raccoon, I'd kill for the secret. 9:39 PM 2023-02-16 15.6K Views 662 Likes 80 Retweets
  • 28
    World - katie jo(hantgen) @katiejoyofosho Some girls were horse girls- I was a Secret Garden girl. I used to wander around my backyard waiting for a robin to show me a hidden door etc etc 1:30 AM 2023-02-17 33.5K Views 1,282 Likes 153 Retweets 22 Quotes
  • 29
    Human body - linz @LINZHOE Atlantic Ocean shallow ass bitch ass puddle ass ocean Amazing Astronomy @MAstronomers - 2d This is Earth without water 6:02 PM 2023-02-16 42.6K Views 1,338 Likes 86 Retweets :
  • 30
    Organism - reactions @reactjpg skeleton eating big chocolate strawberry stop no bitch STOP! 7:11 PM 2023-02-16 703K Views NO BITCH 47.2K Likes 5,559 Retweets 267 Quotes :
  • 31
    Organism - Sen. Lemon Gogurt (I - Podcastia) @Ugarles chatgpt will be pretty good at writing cover letters because cover letters are bullshit and it is hard to write such uncut pap because a sense of shame stops the normal human brain from being good at the task 1:56 PM 2023-02-16 220K Views 8,188 Likes 612 Retweets 27 Quotes
  • 32
    Organism - levy @1929stockcrash Chest hair on men is like a halo gracing an angel. It's in the very nature of the being; removal of the integral is not only a grave offense, but a clear sign of demonic interference 5:37 PM 2023-02-16 22.4K Views 311 Likes 33 Retweets 7 Quotes
  • 33
    Font - rogert @imrogert i released a cheese-curdling scream 8:24 PM 2023-02-17 525 Views 23 Likes 2 Retweets .
  • 34
    Product - Drewberz @buddy_ferrara sleep in too late? hungry, but late for work? try a large iced coffee and several bong rips you certainly will not regret a large iced coffee and several bong rips 3:10 PM 2023-02-17 from St Matthews, KY - 112K Views 4,923 Likes 583 Retweets 32 Quotes :
  • 35
    Font - lesbian mothman @verysmallriver trying to come up with the worst twitter discourse imaginable Cancel ALT Public ✓ normalizing polyamory is literally ableist against people with ADHD since it's unfair to expect us to have the bandwidth to do the emotional labor of keeping up MULTIPLE relationships but okay 9:14 PM 2023-02-16 26.7K Views Tweet 1,414 Likes 89 Retweets 14 Quotes
  • 36
    Font - may Elizabeth Davis @E_Davis_Romance I've been reading a lot about how desperate employers are to get employees back in the office, and how cities are desperate for return-to-office because "otherwise downtowns will die" and the problem is I have yet to read an explanation of why that is the worker's problem to fix 1:25 PM 2023-02-17 248K Views 9,531 Likes 1,447 Retweets 86 Quotes
  • 37
    Vertebrate - mount bellyache @mountbellyache how it feels to get constructive criticism that i asked for 1:18 PM 2023-02-17 195K Views 10.1K Likes 734 Retweets 31 Quotes
  • 38
    Organism - SON M. GDC @bogboogie SOON I want to make a farming simulator much akin to Stardew Valley but with a larger town, and each time you load a new game, it randomly selects one of them to be a serial killer. Farm, fish, fight for your life, raise cattle, build a home, romance, stop murders, fish some more. 4:59 PM 2021-06-05 25.5K Likes 3,781 Retweets 254 Quotes

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