Fresh Tweets From the Bowels of Twitter (June 6, 2023)

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    Font - Holly Nielsen @nielsen_holly I love in Zelda when they're like 'There's an ancient song our people sing, though the meaning of its words are lost to time... it goes like this: ♪♪Link, use a bombflower on the wall Press up on the D-Pad to access items 9:32 AM 5/15/23 from Earth. 1.2M Views . 4,986 Retweets 54 Quotes
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    Material property - balls (annihilator of twinks) @alloenzyme I feel like one of these would kill a European Chocolate Oreo® Shake - Large BR OREO Shake Chocolate Nutrition Facts Serving Size 1 Serving (32 fl oz) Amount Per Serving Calories 2600 Calories from Fat 1220 373 Retweets 730 Quotes % Daily Value* Total Fat 135g Saturated Fat 59g Trans Fat 2.5g Cholesterol 185mg Sodium 1770mg Total Carbohydrates 333g Dietary Fiber 13g Sugar 263g Protein 38g Vitamin A Vitamin C Calcium Iron 8:11 AM 5/30/
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    Font - erin chack @ErinChack [my first day in a drug cartel] kingpin: where's the coke me: is pepsi ok? hehe [later] police: this is the most bullet holes we've ever seen in a single body 2:14 PM 6/2/23 2.1M Views 7,658 Retweets 148 Quotes
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    Font - 180 Ed Zitron @edzitron I love it when guys text other guys "yo what's up we're doing crime" and it gets quoted in a lawsuit 110. Zhao and Binance understood that they were operating the Binance.com Platform in violation of numerous U.S. laws, including the federal securities laws, and that these ongoing violations presented existential risks to their business. 111. As Binance's CCO bluntly admitted to another Binance compliance officer in December 2018, "we are operating as a fking unlic
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    Computer - છું. @theemare Tom "The Pain Sponge" Wambsg.... 2d Crabmeat isn't worth the hassle it takes to eat crab. Show this thread 12:41 PM 6/1/23 from Earth 8.4M Views 25.8K Retweets 297 Quotes : ...
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    Font - asey ones Podcast "Casey" Jones Podcast @CaseyJPod So I bought a computer from goodwill for 10 dollars to see if I could revive it, and I did. It's filled with HUNDREDS of written reviews for gay pornography. I can't stop laughing M Search 6,018 Retweets 617 Quotes Folders Financial Overview 2016 12:40 PM 6/1/23 from Earth. 1.3M Views Gay Movies 301-400 Financi Overvi W IRS Le
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    Head - Let Me Play Joe Matt @GrahamSig That last arrested development season was pretty bad but I still laugh thinking of this cut that is supposed to be seconds after the previous season ended but can't mask the 6 years production gap 1:21 PM 5/30/23 from Earth. 1M Views 1,581 Retweets 90 Quotes
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    Musical instrument - soul nate @MNateShyamalan ohhhhh, so that's why she was smiling. all this time, she was riding a jet ski 4
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    Font - Irene Triendl @DerBren ever wonder what the rest of Michelangelo's David looks like Stone 7:00 AM 5/30/23 1M Views 3,323 Retweets 117 Quotes Passio fight @ 7501
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    Font - Queen Kitten @ElaniKitten Only way to live you will never catch me referring to my bf as the "man of my dreams" i have never dreamed of a man in my entire life. when i was a child i dreamed of having a horse and committing what 78.3k i now know to be as fraud 11:53 AM 6/2/23 1M Views . 2,738 Retweets 100 Quotes 360
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    Font - Roy Wood Jr aka Snack Turner @roywoodjr If you bring a bottle to the BBQ function but nobody cracks it open. Does possession revert back to the attendee or does the homeowner retain possession for use at a future function per BBQ Statute Code 54:4-9 ? 5:28 PM 5/29/23 from Earth. 3.4M Views 1,674 Retweets 1,281 Quotes
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    Font - Gritty is the Way @Gritty20202 inside you are two millennials HOME > EXECUTIVE LIFESTYLE Meet the average American millennial, who has an $8,000 net worth, is delaying life milestones because of student-loan debt, and still relies on parents for money Hillary Hoffower Updated Feb 27, 2020, 10:23 AM EST ALT . HOME > ECONOMY Meet the average American millennial, who's a parent and homeowner with a net worth of $128,000 and hoping for student-debt relief INSIDER Jacob Zinkula May 29, 2023, 6
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    Font - janea @heyyitsjanea every time i go to the cemetery i get creeped out cause i always end up passing by my aunt ethel's headstone which shouldn't be a big deal except she's still alive and just decided to get it because they were having a sale around the time she had to bury her mother 6:41 PM 5/29/23 from Earth. 1.6M Views 3,258 Retweets 710 Quotes
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    Font - madeline odent @oldenoughtosay ohhhhh my GOD I just told the dog "hey we'll go for a walk once the baby's awake, okay?" and she looked at me, ran upstairs, stuck her head in the nursery, and HOWLED 12:56 PM 5/28/23 from Earth 4.2M Views . ... . 8,630 Retweets 468 Quotes
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    Font - Alison @American Hussy You've just ordered Pizza Hut and a 2L Mountain Dew. You've loaded up Diablo on your PC. No school tomorrow. Your parents don't care if you stay up all night long. A perfect Summer night. You are 39 years old. The year is 2023. 7:08 PM 5/28/23 from Earth 965K Views 1,606 Retweets 86 Quotes ...
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    Font - Vasilisa @vasilisonka happy birthday cillian murphy ST (Magazine): Have you ever faked an orgasm? Cillian Murphy: Yes. I was young. You never think of men [doing it], but it's just as possible. ST (Magazine): Did the person know? Cillian Murphy: No. I'm an actor, for God's sake. 4:05 PM 5/25/23 from Earth - 990K Views . . 3,063 Retweets 281 Quotes
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    Font - nat. @kishikybe imagine you're robbing a bank to have money to feed your kids, see it's Spider-Man that's gonna stop you then you suddenly reallze he's in a black suit and not making ANY jokes 5:49 PM 5/24/23 from Earth. 1.4M Views 3,721 Retweets 112 Quotes
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    Font - Dan Waterfield @danwaterfield 'i'm going to a taylor swift concert, but - and it's critical you know this - I'm a good person, a good and moral person with excellent seats' Holly Stallcup @HollyStallcup. 19h Before I leave for NYC, here is my thread on seeing Taylor this weekend while she is dating a racist, Islamophobic, anti-semitic overall problematic white man. While I don't necessarily "owe" anyone this thread, it is important to me... Show this thread 6:02 AM 5/25/23 468K Views 388
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    Font - america's lounge singer @KrangTNelson guys just cannot catch a break. when you're in hs, the cute girls date college guys. when you're in college, theyre dating guys who are already graduated. when you finally graduate, they're dating 82 year old Oscar winner Al pacino 9:55 AM 5/31/23 from Earth. 473K Views 507 Retweets 6 Quotes
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    Font - Hurt CoPain @Saeed DiCaprio Reece @reece_brah-21h Literally every man in the world would prefer a girl 18-22 The ones that don't, can't 7:38 AM 5/24/23 from Earth 3.9M Views 6,399 Retweets 41 Quotes ...
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    Font - Rohita Kadambi @RohitaKadambi Wrong Shows that are Sex and the City Girls (grippy sock SATC) Golden Girls (elderly SATC) Broad City (stoner SATC) Looking (gay SATC) Sex Lives of College Girls (Gen Z SATC) Entourage (straight man SATC) - Girlfriends (Black Gen X SATC) - Insecure (Black millennial SATC) Shows that are Friends - New Girl (mod cloth LA friends) Happy Endings (goofy chicago friends) Will & Grace (gay friends) Living Single (black friends, Gen x) Grand Crew (Black Friends, mill
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    Font - Dan Sheehan @Its DanSheehan I love how we all just sorta pass a hundred dollars around whenever a friend has a cool life event. I got married so it was my turn to hold the hundred dollars, my friends are having a kid soon so I'll pass it back to them 5:54 PM 5/24/23 from Earth. 187K Views 367 Retweets 36 Quotes ...
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    Product - Adam Ellis @adamtotscomix I'm in a hotel and someone named Emily has multi mode turned on. Should I connect to her speaker and put on this playlist FO Current device This iPhone Select a device B13 Speaker emily is listening Over O Living Room TV AirPlay or Bluetooth Start a remote group session Listen with friends in different places FALL 2,848 Retweets 120 Quotes 14 Emily Frank Sinatra I Am E Jorja Smith Inside Hello Papyrus Your The Chariot Closet Fleshwater 1:21 PM 5/23/23 from Ear
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    Font - sorrel @sorrelquest hahahahahaha jesus christ the hbo max app doesn't update to "max," you have to separately find and download the max app 9:50 AM 5/23/23 from Earth 682K Views ● 533 Retweets 144 Quotes
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    Hand - Ajoké @susuajoke The girl he's fw has great taste nik II @fucknikol. 3d found this in his bag what does it mean utter Bloss 10AM YK kie utte gloss 7435 : LF Und E
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    Font - Scott Sullivan @ScottSullivanTV Who's the absolute madman who booked a singular front row ticket to #Oppenheimer in @IMAX 70mm Universal CityWalk on the opening preview night? Oppenheimer Universal Cinema AMC at CityWalk Hollywood | Thu, Jul 20 | 9:45pm | IMAX at AMC SCREEN 4:20 PM - 6/1/23 from Earth - 22.2M Views 2,392 Retweets 1,364 Quotes K
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    Font - chris @MrTooDamnChris We have reached a dangerous intersection of Americans protecting their property with violence and also wanting their little treats delivered to their door. 2:57 PM 6/2/23 from Earth. 297K Views 1,140 Retweets 15 Quotes
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    Mouth - windows 98 Tech Support @Win98 Tech Diablo 4 players are having launch issues on a $70 game that had multiple beta tests made by the worst company in gaming You get what you fucking deserve 8:26 AM 6/2/23 from Earth. 1.4M Views . 1,631 Retweets 137 Quotes
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    Font - FOX FOX26Houston @FOX26Houston - 1d 26 Some men use maxi pads for excess 'gooch fox26houston.com/video/ NEWS grease' 1228610?... FOX 26 SOME MEN USE MAXI PADS FOR EXCESS GOOCH GREASE 398 t 2,868 x. %. @ThedreamerX . I NEVER IN MY BLACK ASS LIFE HEARD ANYONE SAY THE WORDS "GOOCH GREASE" 776 il₁ 2.9M 10:50 AM 6/1/23 from Earth 41.8K Views . SIGH Goym UNCENSORED 52 Retweets 9 Quotes 616 Likes 10 Bookmarks
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    Product - HopScotch @hop_scotch_ A silver lining of our digital age is that you can ask a Habsburg his thoughts on anime girls a commission, dressed Marshal's attire in the reign of Joseph I of the Austro- Hungarian Gold Ship (1/1) PITⒸ @NormfanPjt Replying to @javis016 and @P2020here Wonder what @Eduard Habsburg would think about this 8:59 AM 11 May 23-193 Views . 7 Likes €65 5:15 PM 5/31/23 from Earth. 1.1M Views 口 Eduard Habsburg @Eduard Hab.... 2d Replying to @NormfanPjt @javis016 and @P2020
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    Font - little mi @bigdybbukenergy the other day my year 9s were on the computers revising for their exam and suddenly one of them went "miss would you rather go to a theatre or a museum?” i was like are you trying to do an autism test on me and they were like yeah lol 7:49 AM 6/1/23 from Earth.590K Views 379 Retweets 32 Quotes
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    Font - Gayest Tone @gayest_tone Gay male pornstar: an absolute specimen, a man who had molded his body into a form most pleasing to the human eye. Straight male pornstar: some guy named Steve. He's alright looking. 10:44 PM 5/31/23 from Earth. 295K Views . 437 Retweets 37 Quotes ...
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    Font - Posters Remedy @UrbanLand Rent Overheard a guy say he was "from a small mountain town" that "rapidly gentrified in the last 10 years" Later in the conversation it was revealed he was referring to Boulder, Colorado. 10:07 AM 6/3/23 from Earth. 1.9M Views 762 Retweets 115 Quotes
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    Font - Connor @Yogalnstructor My buddies and I used to play bank account chicken where you wire them the full contents of your account and say "bet you won't send it back" but our wives made us stop 2:09 PM 6/1/23 from Earth 2M Views 3,739 Retweets 183 Quotes
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    Vertebrate - Savia (artist) @saviaivas I gotta remember to silence my phone before I take photos 4:03 PM 5/30/23 from Earth. 543K Views . 2,383 Retweets 148 Quotes
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    Font - WE'LL PUT HIM BACK TOGETHER, ST... @LucyOrSomethin LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DASHBOARD DUCK PFPFODKDDBDB . H 4:28 PM 5/31/23 from Earth. 9M Views 12.4K Retweets 1,052 Quotes 4:25 M
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    Vertebrate - The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana duality of women I am an angel. I am a bomb. :
  • 38
    Product - Eize Basa @Poncho Rebound I genuinely love everything about this sign. The messaging, the intent, the typography, the layout, the color choices. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO TAKE THOSE HAND-RIPPED NOODLES TO-GO? THEY WILL NOT TASTE AS GOOD AS FRESH, DINE-IN NOODLES! We allow takeout orders of our hand-ripped noodles dishes due to popular demand, but please heed this warning. The noodles cool down within 15 minutes (or less when it's cold out). As that happens, the sauces will soak into the
  • 39
    Facial expression - in the pocket of Big Tenant @All.... 23h something powerful is happening in conservative media 392 45 trundle Schokde 1715 @itstrundlebaby 14.9K ılı 1.2M Dude on the right looks like if Manny from Modern Family was on 4chan 10:31 AM - 5/31/23 from Earth 31.5K Views 13 Retweets 2 Quotes 1,103 Likes 4 Bookmarks
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    Font - america's lounge singer @KrangTNelson wild that the french foreign legion is still a thing. the whole "if you're a criminal whos willing to suicide squad yourself for two decades we will give you a new passport that says your name is pierre escargot" concept feels like the sort of thing that was phased out in the 50s 12:22 PM 6/5/23 from Earth - 526K Views . 514 Retweets 36 Quotes
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    Font - John Leavitt @LeavittAlone Turns out a shockingly large number of those were money laundering fronts ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt. 21h remember when cupcakes had this huge moment in like 2010 and cupcake shops opened everywhere and you couldn't get normal desserts anywhere u had to eat gigantic dry cupcakes that were $15 each 2:05 PM 6/4/23 from Earth - 2.6M Views 1,691 Retweets 153 Quotes 28.4K Likes 1,094 Bookmarks 27 7 口 John Leavitt @LeavittAlone - 19h Me circa 2002 Brooklyn: a cupcake
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    Font - nah man it's so over fer Mia Viner juju s @ayeejuju Sofia Zapata Hogwarts Legacy is the hit game of the year. Many people made videos about the game, making it very popular. Nicole Wallin . Neal Zikri Calleigh Wells Messi took the world by storm after Argentina dominated in. the World Cup. Nikita Zubkov 10 Eitan Yaniv BeReal became a viral app that allowed people another way to share. about their lives. Zachary Zuchaer rizzed up trends Pedro Pascal stars in the HBO Max hit show, "The Last
  • 43
    Sky - america's lounge singer @KrangTNelson I genuinely think that adopting a kid in need of a family is one of the most impactful things an individual can do to improve society. having said that, I am having trouble imagining the person who decides to do it after seeing this billboard LEARN ABOUT ADOPTING A TEEN. FIND YOUR SHAZAMILY. VISIT ADOPTUSKIDS.ORG ad LAMAR ym
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    Font - Starfish PhDing in Plankton and Salm... @IRHotTakes An underrated funny bit in the Lord of the Rings books is when the ring is trying to corrupt Sam and is like "uh... shit man, idk. If you kill everyone and take over the world, you'd get a really big garden?" 10:15 PM 6/3/23 from Earth 379K Views . 563 Retweets 28 Quotes
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    Flower - ✩ glo☆ @africanglo I have never in my entire existence seen someone on their phone during their own wedding Mahuntsu @Mahuntsu • 3d My body is here with you, but my mind is outside of town TikTok @cynthiaumunze 0:50 O 12:28 PM 6/3/23 from Earth. 9.7M Views .
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    Font - Nat Guest @unfortunatalie Everybody go back to the office NO NOT LIKE THAT 66 COMMENT Headphone dependency is slowly killing the office buzz This is not a question of concentration, but rather our growing inability to engage in enjoyable and productive conversation JANE SHILLING 4 June 2023 7:00pm 4:46 PM 6/4/23 from Earth. 1.3M Views . 1,222 Retweets 633 Quotes
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    Font - Stone Cold Jane Austen @AbbyHiggs ONLY IF SOMETHING BIG HAPPENS Question 2 of 2: How often would you like to get updates about Beef Stroganoff? Daily Weekly O A few times a month O A few times a year O Only if something big happens O Never 11:04 AM 6/5/23 from Earth 236K Views 730 Retweets 31 Quotes

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