'One of us had to go': Employee goes to HR after boss pressured her to leave because of his jealous wife

Author image for Ben Weiss
Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jun 19, 2023 2:00 PM EDT

There are numerous workplace red flags in this story, but let's start with the fact that the boss made his problem the employee's problem entirely. This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AmIWrong subreddit, and we can safely say right off the bat that the employee is certainly not the person in the wrong here.

 

For starters, we will take her word and believe that there is no inappropriate relationship going on between her and her boss. After all, her boss is married and she has been in a committed five-year relationship. However, the boss and his wife seem to have a highly antiquated view of gender dynamics and cannot fathom that a healthy, productive dynamic working duo can exist between a man and a woman without romantic tension. So rather than work things out with his wife or quit himself, the boss sat his employee down and attempted to pressure her to quit. Are you serious? Thank God she went to HR because that kind of behavior is simply too ridiculous to put up with in this day and age.

 

Keep scrolling below for the full story in OP's words. When you're finished, check out this post about an employee who caught his boss cheating. 

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  • 01
    Gesture - "Am I wrong for reporting my boss to HR after he basically asked me to quit his job for him?"
    via Christina@wocintechchat.com
  • 02
    Font - Am I wrong for reporting my boss to HR after he basically asked me to quit his job for him? For context, I work as an executive for a company and I am the second in command. In the beginning of my time in this company everything was great. There was so much room for growth and at the same time I was learning a lot from my boss. We were a great team. We were doing a lot of good things and were getting a lot of publicity and media attentions.
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96
  • 03
    Font - This all changed when he and his significant other got into a massive fight because she was jealous of me. He disclosed this to me and we laughed because I am in a 5 year relationship myself. I did not know the impact this was gonna have on my career because the next time we saw each other; he sat me down and told me that we can't work together anymore and that one of us had to go. He said it was my decision but that I had a glowing career and that I'd do well in our industry. He also sai
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96
  • 04
    Font - In the beginning I didn't know how to react and was obviously in shock. But also I felt threatened. After telling him my decision of not wanting to leave as it was unfair because I've done nothing wrong and he's backed me into a corner and that it should've never happened. He said that he can't leave either but again, "I would do well witha glowing recommendation"
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96
  • 05
    Font - This got me feeling so betrayed and hurt that I couldn't even look at him. When he left for the day my emotions took over and I broke down. This is when one of my other boss' walked in and wanted to know what happened. At this point all I could do was tell him everything. After he heard everything, he said that he feels disgusted and that we both should take it up to HR. So we did. Now there is a full blown investigation of what's happened but won't start for another couple days.
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96
  • 06
    Font - In the meantime, he still acts and treats me like normal and it's driving me insane. I haven't slept or eaten properly but watching him talk to me like everything's okay is making me feel like an hole. So am I wrong?
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96
  • 07
    Font - melonlollicholypop You are not wrong. He has a problem: how to manage his wife's feelings. That problem has nothing to do with you, and is in no way your responsibility. He is trying to turn his problem into your problem and let you solve it for him, at great personal and professional costs to yourself. That is a gross violation is his authority. Additionally, although you didn't say so, are we to infer that her jealousy is of a physical/romantic/sexual variety? Because that also colors t
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96
  • 08
    Font - You feel bad because he is treating you normally. But his behavior now doesn't excuse his behavior then. You have an obligation to protect your own interests. He clearly isn't going to. Don't lose a minute's sleep over this.
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96
  • 09
    Font - JedMih You are not wrong -- he was way out of line. I hope you have a quality HR department.
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96
  • 10
    Font - liquid_j. he's trying to make a "him problem" a "you problem"... no way dude, not your circus, not your monkeys!! You have nothing to feel upset about.
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96
  • 11
    Font - leslieinlouisville. Plus he's issued a veiled threat with the "glowing recommendation" line, implying he'd give her a good rec if she left.... But underhandedly saying that if she won't leave and he "has" to fire her, he wont give her a good recommendation and she wont do well. Disgusting.
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96
  • 12
    Rectangle - AKhayotic Penguin. HR Meeting Toby Walks In (Your F
    via u/Loka_Chefy_96

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boss workplace-stories employee fired work stories toxic-workplace job work i quit toxic-boss human resources workplace Horrible Bosses reddit thread Reddit quitting toxic-work-environment
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