30 Witty Memes Showcasing the Humorous and Honest Side of Holy Matrimony

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  • 01
    Outerwear - Husband: Mommy will be right back. She went out to get her medicine. Me getting my medicine:
  • 02
    Rectangle - wife: I'm going into labor husband: when wife: now husband: [sets plate of nachos down] jesus christ karen i just made these
  • 03
    Font - Saw wedding pictures where the bride and groom had 12 people on each side of their bridal party. You getting married or playing pick up football? No one in their late 20's/ early 30's has 12 friends. You have 4 friends, depression and back pain. Stop it.
  • 04
    Organism - Wedding invites are always like: we reserved a block of hotel rooms at a discounted rate of $3,000 a night so book soon! No kids so please leave them at home or in the car. Also the closest airport is 4 hours away. Can't wait to celebrate our love with you!
  • 05
    Human body - My dad gave my mom the world and showered her with affection but I guess your eggplant emoji is cool too.
  • 06
    Gesture - When my husband says we're going to visit his family... Hold on sweetie, let me just finish this one thing.
  • 07
    Font - A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would've happened if you had just listened to her.
  • 08
    Font - Average Dad @Average_Dad1 My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part
  • 09
    Gesture - Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney Every marriage has one person who reports whenever a celebrity dies and one person who says "oh." 22 ...
  • 10
    Font - Michael Tiberi @michaelisbasic Before you marry someone, go sit in traffic with them for at least two hours.
  • 11
    Sports uniform - When you forgot to lock the door and your kid walks in T
  • 12
    Product - To anyone who's considering moving in with their significant other, pls remember this: YESTERDAY, I bought a 24 pack of fruit roll ups. TONIGHT, there are 2 left. TWO.
  • 13
    Jaw - MA CORINNE FISHER @PhilanthropyGal The longer your happy anniversary caption is the worse I know things are going.
  • 14
    Font - Rachel Feltman @Rachel Feltman ... I recently learned that my husband only opens instagram once every 4-6 weeks to check our local ice cream parlor's flavor of the month......it is just....an ice cream flavor checker for him....amazing
  • 15
    Vertebrate - When the hubby's trying to get some, and you're just wondering if you'll ever sleep again
  • 16
    Toilet roll holder - Out of all the men on the planet, I had to marry the one who does this.
  • 17
    Jaw - Dan Regan @Social_Mime ... My wife put parental controls on Netflix because I watched one of our shows without her.
  • 18
    Font - Mommy Owl @Lhlodder My husband and I called my sweet, 85- year-old grandma to tell her I got a new job. She congratulated us, talked for a bit, and then hung up. Later she called me to say I should open a secret bank account and never tell my husband about it. My grandma is fierce.
  • 19
    Terrestrial plant - David Hughes @david8hughes A girl I worked with announced she's getting married, no doubt expecting a wave of cheering & congratulations but it was met with recently divorced Laura from the back of the office saying, "That's f king stupid."
  • 20
    Health care provider - Doctor: Are you involved in any dangerous sports? Man: Well, sometimes I disagree with my wife. @thebitchybabe
  • 21
    Sky - HUSBAND: I did the dishes WIFE: So? HUSBAND:
  • 22
    Font - KJ @IDontSpeakWhine ... I stole my husband's "dad move" of sitting in the driveway for 10 minutes before I entered the house after I left him home with the kids all day and by the face he gave me when I came in, he hates it just as much as I do.
  • 23
    Jaw - Average Dad @Average_Dad1 I asked my wife to share her queen sized blanket to which she replied she was a queen and therefore the blanket was already at max capacity
  • 24
    Font - Jim Carrey @Jim Carrey Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave.
  • 25
    Outerwear - When my husband tells me I need to calm down Are you calling me irrational? Because I'll tear your head off, Daniel. I'll tear it off and HD throw it over that fence.
  • 26
    Product - Me, giving my husband a tutorial on how to find things in front of his face T GAR
  • 27
    Font - eric from the future @ericsshadow My wife spent six weeks researching customer reviews of vacuum cleaners and one time I bought a new car because I had the same dog as the guy on the commercial.
  • 28
    Font - Dad 2.0 - hanging on, mostly @DadaBaseThought My wife is hilarious We've been trying to get ahold of our sons daycare corporate for 4 months and they literally do not answer phones or email She applied for a job and when they contacted her for an interview she asked to be transferred to the person we needed to talk to
  • 29
    Font - SARCAS SM MOMMY Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 Every marriage has one person who wants to arrive at the airport 2 hours early & the other wants to arrive when they're closing the gate.
  • 30
    Muscle - Me trying to get my side of the bed covers back from my wife ST MAN A 2009 IT

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