The Sibling Effect: Investigating Compatibility in Romantic Relationships Based on Birth Order

The difference between siblings in a family can be incredibly obvious, as children tend to take on the “roles” that come along with their position in the family. 

The oldest child is the test trial of the children. Parents never know what they are doing with the oldest, and they must figure it out as they go. Parents will generally be the most strict with the oldest child and have the highest expectations for them.

The oldest child will then have a strong sense of responsibility and can foster trust and serve as a reliable partner. In terms of compatibility, it is likely this person will work well with someone who looks for dependability and a robust support system. But beware! From endless responsibilities in childhood like being expected to look after and reprimand other siblings, they will likely have been forced to mature quickly and will carry traits that come along with that such as hyper organization or anxiety.

The middle child gets the least attention and therefore gets away with everything. Usually, this child will be the most rebellious and the “mystery box” of the family. Typically, middle children will serve as mediators in arguments and are trustworthy, loyal friends. At the same time, they will often feel neglected by their parents and develop a sense of humor to cope with these feelings.

In relationships, a middle child can be very independent and explorative. Because of this, a best-suited partner would be someone spontaneous and open to new experiences. Still, the endless lecturing about middle children misbehaving will likely have hardened them, so definitely look out for that.

The youngest child is the baby of the family. Usually, the youngest is the one that gets everything they want and gets parenting from every member of the family. In a lot of ways, the youngest gets the upper hand. By the time parents have their youngest child, they have learned how to be the best parents they can be. They have all the knowledge and better than that, the youngest children observe their older siblings to figure out what to do and what NOT to do.

The youngest children in relationships will generally be lighthearted and seek someone who will bring joy and playfulness to their lives. At the same time, this person will be used to the constant attention and getting their way, even when they're being overly dramatic. Pay attention to this quality and do not give in to their every demand.

The most interesting part of this topic is when these “types of siblings” are seen in relationships with someone who played a similar “role” in their family. It does make sense that an oldest child would relate best to another oldest child and the same with the other family positions. Similarities in personality will likely help build connections between people.

Before you decide to date someone, learn about whether or not they have siblings, and which sibling they are. We Cheezcakers can almost guarantee you will start to see some behaviors that match the vibe of that sibling's “role” in the family and explain a lot of dynamics in your relationship.

For example, if your partner gives off a controlling vibe and tends to be very organized and easily stressed, they could be the oldest child. 

On the opposite end, if the partner shows signs of a lack of accountability or rebellious behavior, they may be a middle child. 

Lastly, if you notice a lot of immaturity or a lack of independence, your partner could be the youngest child, and that is one quality that should be taken into consideration before deciding to date someone. 

Arguably one of the most important things to think about is which sibling your past partners have been in their families because maybe some of the qualities that are characteristic of that sibling conflicted with your values in a relationship or the underlying qualities of your position in your family. 

Everyone knows that families can have a great influence on the person you develop into. Therefore, it makes sense that your assigned family role would contribute to big parts of who you are such as personality, how you communicate, and who you are compatible with.

Depending on family dynamics, siblings will grow and develop together, learning different types of emotional intelligence and communication styles. Either way, taking the time to think about these dynamics could help explain why some qualities might be dealbreakers in a relationship and reveal which qualities complement you best in a partner!

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