Mom ‘ruins summer’ to protect her 3 and 5-year-old kids, forbidding her 11, 12, and 17-year-olds to swim in their olympic-sized pool until a safety fence is installed: ‘I don't feel comfortable, bottom line’

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  • "AITA for refusing to open my pool w/o a safety gate?"

    This has been a matter of contention for three years between myself (F36) and partner (M47). He inherited his family home 3 years ago, which includes a large 20x40 foot pool with
  • a 10' deep end. The sliding glass door in the kitchen opens directly onto the pool area. For context, we have two kids together, age 5 & 3, and I brought three of my own into the relationship, 11, 12 & 17.
  • Since we moved in, I have said the pool needs to be fenced in. The back yard itself is fenced in, so home owners insurance grants a policy. But there is no gate/fence/anything between the house and the pool. The
  • slider also grants access to our detached garage, which holds his office, and my oldest son's work shop. So the slider is utilized multiple times daily. Years one and two, I got child safe sliding door locks and
  • alarms, trying to force everyone to go out the front door and around the house to access the garage. It didn't work. Partner would still utilize the sliding door. Older kids would go out that door to access the garage. Even
  • forcing everyone out the front door isn't a fool safe because a younger kid can still run around the house, through the garage, or gate. Drownings happen fast. I get told
  • "just watch them". Yes, obviously. Youngest two are also in year two of swim lessons. I don't feel comfortable without a gated pool, bottom line. Here is my AITA? question. This
  • summer, I'm refusing to open the pool until a six foot fence with a locking gate is installed around the entire pool. My older kids are giving me grief that I'm ruining their
  • summer. Partner has said he doesn't have time to install a fence, but won't hire anyone because no one can do anything as good as he can. #sarcasm. Family is upset they can't come swim. So, AITA?
  • JeepersCreepers74 ⚫ NTA, but I grew up in a desert state where kids drown in pools every year. You tried to come up with a system you were comfortable with, and nobody in
  • the family stuck to it. They are constantly prioritizing their personal convenience above the safety of the younger two. Partner and the kids can spend
  • weekend putting up the fence you want to get their pool privileges back. If they don't have time to do a super nice one to partner's standards, there are plenty of temporary options that will secure the perimeter and can be removed in a few years when everyone's a bit older.
  • Honey_Wooden NTA. Hubby's had 3 years and couldn't get it done? That's on him.
  • Pretty_Goblin11. NTA but your big girl, you can call and hired somone to put up a fence. You don't actually need your husband to do it.
  • HowlPen NTA in any shape or form. My ILs refused to put a safety gate around their pool. They thought I was ridiculous on insisting on safety vests even during BBQs,
  • until they were playing with him by the pool and he fell in. Did I mention they can't swim? My son is fine because I don't mind being a PITA when it came to his safety. Don't back down on this. It's not worth it.

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