‘He won’t give his kid undivided attention for even one single night': Husband asks wife if he can miss their kid's birthday party so he can attend hockey practice instead

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/TheRaccoon Empress 20 hours ago 4 My husband just asked to miss part of our kids 7th birthday party and a mother would never.
  • 02
    Font - My husband plays in an adult hockey rec league. He plays about once or twice a week and is gone for a few hours. Our kid's birthday party is tonight. We're taking her and her two best friends out to a 7:30 dinner show. They have costumes and want to show
  • 03
    Font - up early (6:30) to do pictures, see the exhibits, go to the gift shop, etc. • His game starts at 5:10, and goes for at least an hour plus time to get showered and changed back, so he wouldn't even leave the rink until 6:30 at the very earliest, which is when
  • 04
    Font - we should be walking through the doors of the venue. He even suggested he pick up his mother on the way, too, instead of our original plan of driving together. If everything went perfectly, he make it just in time to go to the show with us,
  • 05
    Font - but it's FAR more likely he'd be late for his kid's own birthday dinner. I would also have to be babysitting my phone to direct him to where we are if I even have reception.
  • 06
    Font - He didn't even stop to think that I'm the one with the digital tickets, so our entry would be held up by him.
  • 07
    Font - I cannot imagine where he got the idea that this was even an okay thing to ask. Not only would he be missing part of his kid's birthday, but I also need help watching the kids, getting the kids costumed, seated in two cars if they don't fit in one (how he thinks I can drive two cars, I'm not sure), and through the doors of the venue.
  • 08
    Font - For context: I booked this party, bought the girls' costumes (dress, crowns, shoes), coordinated a sleepover with their moms, ordered her cake, etc. The only thing he's done for her birthday is order presents, and that took 15 minutes on Amazon.
  • 09
    Font - He's absolutely indignant that it was a fine thing to ask and I'm unreasonable for being mad. He says "I wouldn't be missing her party. Her party is the show." WTF!!! You don't want to give your kid your undivided attention ONE NIGHT of the year?
  • 10
    Font - He's put his hobbies before me before, but I never thought he would do it to our kid. He's either totally self-unaware or self- centered, and I'm officially over this guy. A mom would never even think to ask this.
  • 11
    Font - ETA: 1. We had a talk and he's not going, but he still doesn't get it that there should not have even be a question about going to hockey. 2. The party doesn't start at 7:30. It starts at 5:30 when the girls arrive. We want to be in the doors of the venue by 6:30. It takes 30-40 minutes to drive there, more time to park and get inside.
  • 12
    Font - MLeek 19 hr. ago It's always very telling, when I'm listening to my friends, when there get to the place with someone where the narrative becomes 'I've accepted they treat me this way, but I'm appalled they'd also do it to others!'
  • 13
    Font - I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope your kiddo has a magical day. Sounds like a great outing! 2.4k Reply Share
  • 14
    Font - TheRaccoonEmpress OP 19 hr. ago I know. I've done a lot of growing and healing since we got together and even since we had our kid. I'm trying to give myself grace and not beat myself up for not knowing better. 853 Reply Share
  • 15
    Font - alkalinesky 17 hr. ago My ex just missed his daughter's choir exhibition - in her senior year of high school - ON her 18th fu ng birthday - to go to a band rehearsal. He's fu ng 51 years old. Band. BAND.
  • 16
    Font - It never, ever gets better. These fu ng dudes will die lonely and feel sorry for themselves while doing it. At least my daughter is old enough now to keep her expectations below the earth's core. But she was still hurt. 4 2.1k Reply Share
  • 17
    Font - felagund 18 hr. ago . I [man] am on two different rec league baseball teams and will often go sub in a third league when they need a pitcher, because not many people can pitch. I fu ng love playing baseball. There's 11 or 12 guys on both my regular teams, and
  • 18
    Font - we need 10 in the field at any one time (four outfielders). There are always just exactly enough people, because all of us including the two gay guys are dads, and every weekend, one of us has a kid birthday party or dance recital or whatever, or wife's birthday, and we
  • 19
    Font - all know this and it's totally cool. Your husband is a di ead: he's not clueless, because I'll bet you $500 the exact same thing happens on his hockey team w/r/t dads having kid events. ↑ 771 Reply Share
  • 20
    Font - Diafotisi 17 hr. ago Not exactly the same, but even my son's little league coach misses practices occasionally because of family events. These aren't pro sports, everyone understands. He just didn't want to give up his hockey time. Reply Share 348
  • 21
    Font - Dont Forget This Time 15 hr. ago Even professional athletes miss games and practices for family milestones. Missing one because of a recreational team? HUGE yikes 122 Reply Share
  • 22
    Font - SussOfAll06 14 hr. ago MEN: Pay attention-- THIS is why you think a divorce comes out of nowhere. It doesn't. This st t festers and builds into years of resentment until your wife finally says, "Fuck it, I'm done." 4554 Reply Share

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