Distant cousin uses her wedding invites as shameless cash grab, family refuses to attend or give a gift: 'And I'm okay with that.'

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  • "Bride puts wrong names on invitations, asks for cash only"

    My cousin is getting married. She's the baby of the family, from a second marriage, and is much younger than the rest of us. I got an invitation to her wedding shower addressed to my maiden name. Other family members also got invitations in their maiden names as well. This
  • is confusing because I've been married over 15 years. My other family members have been married about as long or even longer. Does she not know our actual names? She could have easily asked my mom, grandma, or aunts for this information, or even me directly!
  • Second the invite specified "wrong name & kid". Now I have three kids so I'm not sure which kid I'm supposed to bring! Are the other two meant to stay home with my husband? She obviously doesn't know the names of my children either or how many I have. Again, she could have easily asked for this information.
  • Third, the invitation had a note saying the bride only wanted cash. She did not include any kind of registry. Some of my relatives, like our grandma and aunts, really enjoy picking out a gift to give. So they are insulted at the request for cash only. She
  • also did NOT specify the cash was for something like a honeymoon or house down payment. So the invites managed to make most of the family mad for one
  • reason or another. I'd already decided I wasn't going to the shower or the wedding, as I said we're not close. But I was thinking of at least sending a card with money, along with my congratulations. Now I'm not sending anything and I'm okay with that.
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  • quizzicalturnip Her invite list is clearly just a money grab. Gross.
  • Liu1845 Using a relative's outdated contact list too. Definitely a "Decline", no gift, no card, & no money from me either.
  • hardlybroken1 Return to sender, no one here with that name.
  • Not-That_Girl Send her a crad, spell her name wrong, wish her a happy birthday and include a fiver lol
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  • 10S_NE1 I honestly cannot fathom the gall of someone who would put "invitations" in an envelope demanding money. And mis-addressing the envelopes to boot. This girl has more nerve than anyone I know. I would di of shame sending something like that out. I would definitely opt out of the shower. Have you received a wedding invitation yet? I hope you know someone who is going so they can report back. I'm guessing it will be interesting.
  • Formal-Avocado2672 Bride sounds spoiled and that she's using the cash only request as a means to either pay off the wedding or to pay for other things. I always found explicitly asking for money as a gift to be rude- idc if it's a honeymoon fund or what, don't ask for money. If someone chooses to gift you money great! If not, accept the gift you put on your registry.... I heard from a family member of mine an ex friend had her
  • wedding DJ go around asking for "honeymoon donations" mind you, she, her husband, and both families live comfortable lives. I also think engagement parties are money grabs too.. just go out to dinner together or with both of your parents. There's no need for another celebration where guests are expected to give gifts...
  • DonsBirdie Yeah, I was just invited to a shower with a similar family member. Asked for cash only at the shower. Half the fun of the shower is watching the bride open gifts. Is she going to open cards/Venmo and declare how much everyone donated? I really don't like it. My daughter and I declined the shower, and we're not sending anything. It's not required to send a gift if you're not attending.

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