Nosy Boss Bombards Employee's Wife With Texts Demanding She Explains Why He Called Out For a Family Emergency

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 21, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

Emergency contacts exist for a reason. If your employee is having a medical emergency at work, you need to tell their family or close friends if they had to go to the hospital. While this system is useful in the contexts it's supposed to be used, it is extremely easy to abuse for absurd reasons. 

One man recently went viral on Reddit after his boss repeatedly texted his wife. This might sound suspicious on his wife's part, but they weren't texting for the reason you think they're texting. The employee emailed and texted his boss over the weekend that he would have to call out of work an extra day because a family emergency required him to be away for an additional day. He had previously taken off a couple of days before the weekend due to said emergency. When his boss got that news, he freaked out, texting the employee's wife from his emergency contact list, demanding answers. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/antiwork u/OKC2023champs • 1d 31 Boss and coworker texting my wife after I called out. Am I feeling right that this is inappropriate?
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 02
    Font - I've been at this job for about 7 months now, it's a very small warehouse/office space, only 3 people including me. Outside of this incident, I have several other problems with the job (hours being cut, pay) but that's a different story.
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 03
    Handwriting - I was out of work last week due to a family emergency on Wednesday and Thursday and had to leave early on Friday. On Friday I told them I would be back Monday.
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 04
    Font - However, that didn't go as planned and on Saturday I realized I wouldn't be back until Monday night. I sent an email, and then Monday morning before work I texted my boss just to give an extra heads up since I haven't gotten an email response, it is our work email so it's not too uncommon for those to go unread on the weekends. 'I'm sorry, I am still out of town dealing with my mom, I will be back tonight, and will be in the office tomorrow morning'
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 05
    Font - I thought that was sufficient enough, so I went back into the hospital and turned my ringer off. This was at 6:00am. I leave the hospital around 2:00pm and check my phone. I don't see any texts from my boss but my wife has sent me several screenshots of them texting her.
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 06
    Font - They blew up her phone at work, asking where I was, am I going to be in tomorrow, what's going on, I can't call out 2 hours before work and they're going to have to have a talk with me.
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 07
    Font - 1: I sent them an email on Saturday, and even if they had said I needed to be in that wouldn't have been possible. 2: they said they tried to text me but I never got any texts or calls from them.
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 08
    Font - 3: In my text i specifically said I would be back tomorrow. So if they had any issues I think sitting down with me then would have worked. 4: my wife works at a very very high stress job where phones are for emergencies only, so her phone being spammed wasn't a good look for her. 5: I find it HIGHLY inappropriate for them to text my wife about anything that isn't an emergency.
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 09
    Font - I called my boss afterwards and he said I needed to be more communicative, which is fine and I understand. But that is something that could've been talked about in person. Was it inappropriate for them to text my wife? Or am I over reacting?
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 10
    Font - EDIT: My wife is an emergency contact, and a coworker knows her from years prior due to a job so might still have her number. Work phones are how we communicate and my boss's is turned on off the weekend, which is why I didn't call Saturday and waited till before work to text again.
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 11
    Font - GuyBeardmane . 1d 1 Award It's completely inappropriate and they owe your wife and you an apology. Your boss can shove the "be more communicative" statement right up his ass. Reply 6.2k ...
    via u/GuyBeardmane
  • 12
    Font - WhitishRogue Your job is between you and your boss. Your coworker has no business snooping into your life. Ask them why they're using her phone number outside of an actual emergency. Severed fingers and heart attacks are emergencies, not planned absences. 1d ● I think your wife should respond: "In order to get the most accruate respones, please direct all work- related questions to the person who holds that job." Also if they're cutting your pay along with other stuff, it's a bad business
    via u/WhitishRogue
  • 13
    Font - OKC2023champs OP. 1d My wife 'knew' my coworker outside of work briefly a few years ago through a mutual friend, so it doesn't surprise me they have her number. That point is moot though. Thank you for the response. On top of hours being cut, meaning my pay is going down, I now feel like boundaries were crossed and it is definitely time for a change She's also my emergency contact ... G 565
    via u/OKC2023champs
  • 14
    Font - Abject-Influence6214 20h ● Your wife is well within her rights to explicitly tell them to never contact her for any reason that isn't an emergency related to your well- being while you are at work. Trying to track you down like a toddler, isn't it. You also need to tell them that they are NEVER to contact her again in that matter. Be very matter of fact about it. 192
    via u/Abject-Influence6214
  • 15
    Font - parkesc • 1d "I called my boss afterwards and he said I needed to be more communicative, which is fine and I understand." It is NOT fine, because you did nothing wrong. He's the one that didn't see your original email and now he's just turning it around on you - after he could have caused an issue with your wife's job. This incident should be the straw that broke the camel's back. Reply 676
    via u/parkesc
  • 16
    Font - When MAGAS hear bu den might be going to per sunfilled_flitters • 23h 2 Awards I'm in HR, go to a lawyer. That was textbook harassment. Completely inexcusable. There are very few reasons your employer CAN contact your EMERGENCY CONTACT.. If they had heard nothing from you, you were completely MIA, and she was the listed emergency contact, THEN they can call her to confirm the emergency and that's it. They CANNOT be calling her and texting her multiple times trying to find out information,
    via u/sunfilled_flitters
  • 17
    Font - GO TO A LAWYER. That was harassment.. these bosses of yours, are they the HR? Do you have an HR or are these bosses connected to the HR? Doesn't matter GO TO A LAWYER. Yesterday. ... Reply 4 617 ↓
    via u/sunfilled_flitters
  • 18
    Font - Top-Independent-8906 - 1d I was the owner and boss with about 10 employees. The only time I would even think of talking to their partners is at the company supper. Kept it short, positive, and avoided eye contact. I want nothing to do in their business. People have enough on their plate without a boss being intrusive. ... Reply 28
    via u/Top-Independent-8906

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boss workplace-stories jobs emergency toxic-workplace workplace-story job terrible-bosses bad jobs bosses work horrible-management Horrible Bosses bad bosses
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