Woman repeatedly donates money to lazy 19 and 20-year-old neighbors who refuse to get jobs, neighbors steal her fishing boat without asking: 'I told her to stop trying to help these people, they're just going to keep on walking all over her'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 28, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Enablers are some of the nicest, sweetest people you'll ever meet. They always want everybody to be happy and are willing to make the most ridiculous decisions imaginable because they genuinely believe they're doing the right thing. They are eager to enable bad behavior from their kids, spouse, or friends because it maintains the illusion of keeping the peace, even though it ultimately does the opposite. If you cut off your delinquent adult son after he constantly takes advantage of you, there's a good chance he might never want to see you again, but there's also a chance that he'll learn the error of his ways and get his life together. There's no way of predicting what exactly will happen in that scenario, so a lot of parents keep their badly behaving adult children within arm's reach, giving them handouts whenever they ask for one because it's just plain easy.

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  • The woman in this story is not a parent to the “kids” she's enabling, but her actions still have negative consequences for all involved. She's giving money to an older woman whose “raising” her grandchildren, despite said grandchildren being 19 and 20-year-old adults who refuse to get a job.

  • 01

    AITA for telling my wife to stop trying to "fix" the neighborhood kids.

    My wife has a huge heart. It goes without saying, she is so caring. Everyone talks about how caring she is. But it's reached a breaking point for me. Neighbor is an elderly lady raising her 2 grandkids, and she's struggling.
    via u/Quiet-Estimate7409
  • 02
    They're 19 and 20, capable of working, but so gd In lazy they want to sit back and do nothing, and wait for social assistance cheques to come in. But they squander the money on dr s, booze and atv parts instead of trying to help their grandmother. My wife has taken
    via u/Quiet-Estimate7409
  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10535668480
    via Jordan González (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    food repeatedly to this family to help. Then, they took advantage of my wife's kindness, borrowed our little row boat without asking and did some illegal fishing, no life jackets, and made a mess at our dock. We were both furious, but my wife is disappointed in herself for being taken advantage of. I told her to stop trying to
    via u/Quiet-Estimate7409
  • 05
    50
    via u/Quiet-Estimate7409

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    help these people, they're just going to keep on walking all over her. I'm not going to let her keep feeding these people if they're just going to keep treating her like sh. Am I the a hole here? I'm fuming.
    via u/Quiet-Estimate7409
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10535670272
    via u/Quiet-Estimate7409

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    MsMeiriona If she wants to help, invite grandma, and only her, for dinner some nights. Ignore the kids, the poor woman probably needs a friend.
    via u/MsMeiriona
  • 09
    Numerous-Opposite948 This!! She would probably enjoy coming over for dinner and spending time with the family!
    via u/Numerous-Opposite948
  • 10
    Somebody_81 And grandma isn't "raising" those grandchildren anymore. They're 19 and 20. I expected little kids, say 8 or 9 years old.
    via u/Somebody_81
  • 11
    Careless_Hope5987 You know that even if you only invited her she would probably show up with the terrible grandkids in tow....
    via u/Careless_Hope5987
  • 12
    der_lodije NTA Those aren't "neighborhood kids", they are two young adults capable of finding jobs, and they will continue to take advantage of your wife if you let them.
    via u/der_lodije
  • 13
    KrofftSurvivor Your elderly neighbor is not raising her grandchildren. She raised her grandchildren, and they are now adults. If your wife wants to help this lady, she should be calling DHS to report that this elderly woman is at risk because the adults in the home are using her benefits on drs and alcol while she goes hungry.
    via u/KrofftSurvivor
  • 14
    Separate_Match_918 Reporting elderly ab e before a problem escalates seems reasonable to me.
    via u/Separate_Match_918
  • 15
    ImAMorty777 NTA. Call the cops - they aren't "kids", they are adults and stole your boat and trashed your dock. Oh, and your wife needs to grow up and stop it.
    via u/ImAMorty777
  • 16
    byrandomchance20 Suggest that your wife have the grandmother over for dinner from time to time or take her out for a lunch day, hair salon, bingo, church, whatever. Spending time with the senior in this situation would be a great use of your wife's kindness - and keeps the "kids" out of it.
    via u/byrandomchance20
  • 17
    Unfortunately you guys can't really keep the grandma from being taken advantage of by the grandkids - though maybe if your wife built a trusting enough relationship she could be a good influence - but that doesn't mean kindness to the grandma specifically needs to go out the window. There are plenty of ways to keep helping that don't involve the leaching grandkids.
    via u/byrandomchance20
  • 18
    GothPenguin Your wife isn't feeding a child whose family is struggling to put food on the table or clothes on a baby's back. She's willingly enabling poor behavior from people old enough to take care of themselves in the most basic of ways. I'm genuinely sorry she was taken advantage of, no one deserves to have their kindness treated that way but good for you for putting a stop to it. NTA
    via u/GothPenguin
  • 19
    daddys_princess_1990 NAH and I'll tell you why. She is trying to help out an old lady. My guess is she has some childhood trauma that makes her a bl_ding heart. Because she can't stop even if she wanted to. She needs to see a therapist. And no, you have every right to be mad. Doesn't make you an AH. Get her help before it spirals out of control.
    via u/daddys_princess_1990
  • 20
    Quiet-Estimate 7409 OP This really upset her too, I think her days of helping these people have come to an end.
    via u/Quiet-Estimate7409
  • 21
    UnhappyTemperature18 NTA for wanting her to stop. YTA for using the words "let her" in regard to whether or not she feeds them.
    via u/UnhappyTemperature18
  • 22
    Quiet-Estimate 7409 OP Poorly chosen wording in the post. My bad. I'd never talk to my wife in that manner.
    via u/Quiet-Estimate7409
  • 23
    Basura 718 NTA but know in your heart that your wife is a good person so just take it easy with her.
    via u/Basura718
  • 24
    Quiet-Estimate 7409 OP She is an amazing soul. And she's aware she's been taken advantage of.
    via u/Quiet-Estimate7409
  • 25
    Inevitable-Place9950 Them stealing from you isn't taking advantage of her kindness; it's just stealing.
    via u/Inevitable-Place9950

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neighbors stealing neighborhood old woman grandma bad neighbors reddit thread Bad Neighbor elderly Reddit boat grandmother theft unemployed young adult
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