'Maybe the problem is you': Experienced restaurant employee roasts servers that complain about bad tips, sparking debate about what makes a good waiter

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jul 22, 2023 7:00 PM EDT

Everyone's been to a restaurant before where they had a terrible server. You saw them flirting with the hostess, loitering around the bar, and rolling their eyes when you asked them to split the bill. Not to mention, they've neglected your table for 20 minutes, while you were starving and ready to order. Restaurant goers are faced with a tough decision– to tip or not to tip? Obviously, in America, the social pressure of tipping is strong… even for the worst service of your life. But at what point is a waiter so terrible that they don't even deserve 10% of your bill? Besides, those waiters or waitresses are 100% going to be the ones who complain about their guests being bad tippers when, in fact, they are the problem.

In this case, an experienced restaurant employee weighed in on this conundrum. Any server who complains about making <20% in tips throughout the night might have a bigger problem than just bad luck with their parties. Perhaps it's time for those lazy servers to take a good hard look in the mirror. 

Scroll for the full roast on some terrible service and perhaps you can bestow some wisdom of your very own restaurant experiences. Next, read this story of a bartender who was forced to come in for his shift while battling a cold and got saved by his boss's very own mother.

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  • 01
    Font - Yr/Serverlife. Posted by u/claymanabe 2 Maybe this job isn't for you
    via claymanabe
  • 02
    Font - If you consistently get below 20% when the other severs there don't, maybe the problem is you.
    via claymanabe
  • 03
    Font - If you hate the guests, and resent every request they make, maybe you shouldn't be working to serve them.
    via claymanabe
  • 04
    Font - If you think that your restaurant should have a mandated 20% on all tabs, because you always get 8 on 60, it might be your service.
    via claymanabe
  • 05
    Font - Maybe when you're all caught up, just stay in your section. Who knows what your missing, while you flirt with the hosts, as your table has stacks of plates and unfilled drink glasses.
    via claymanabe
  • 06
    Font - Your job is NOT to make friends with your tables in hopes that they "like" you enough to not say soot about the modification you forgot, or how long it took you to get them their box.
    via claymanabe
  • 07
    Font - You don't like to split their tabs? The manager ran your drinks, and the expo ran your food. They ask you for separate tabs and you roll your eyes. "What is it... you say.... you do here?
    via claymanabe
  • 08
    Human body - Servers who act like this and then say tipping is broken make us all look bad. Go work in data entry.
    via claymanabe
  • 09
    Font - ibided 2 days ago There are servers that are order takers. Their lives are hell, they hate everyone, and don't try yet still complain. Then there are servers that work toward the ideal guest experience.
    via ibided
  • 10
    Font - I worked somewhere once that taught me the phrase Recognition and Reassurance. Recognize the needs of the guest and reassure them you're taking care of it.
    via ibided
  • 11
    Font - It's important in a world where things cost so much that you're taken care of by your server. I like letting people know that I got it. They don't have to worry about anything.
    via ibided
  • 12
    Font - theboxingdude. 1 day ago Not a trainer but worked in hotels for 6+ years before serving and the level of service needed to work in the high-end places made working as a server a walk in the park. The biggest pet peeve I have with other servers is them being disingenuous
    via theboxingdude
  • 13
    Rectangle - just-a-nerd- 2 days ago BOH here, when I was getting trained my lovely coworker drilled this into my head: "do your job, and then anticipate what the team needs"
    via just-a-nerd-
  • 14
    Font - markonopolo 2 days ago The very best service is almost unnoticeable.
    via markonopolo
  • 15
    Plant - theboxingdude. 1 day ago THIS. It's a lot better to just do it rather than interrupting the conversation that might be going down at the table, like who is going to complain about getting a new soda or coffee.
    via theboxingdude
  • 16
    Facial expression - Roxytg 2 days ago The ideal guest experience is having an order taker be my server
    via Roxytg
  • 17
    Font - ibided 2 days ago A good server can read the person and see what they need. But an establishment sets the steps of service. If you don't want to be talked to I still have to bring you bread after your salad course. I can do all that without talking to you. And I do when it's appropriate.
    via ibided
  • 18
    Product - Intelligent-Neck-623 2 days ago I like you, lol. I'm busy as st most of the time at work, and I focus on making sure everyone gets their food timely and correctly, and their drinks are refilled. I know it sounds weird, but it can be
    via Intelligent-Neck-623
  • 19
    Font - kinda jarring if I'm flying around my section and someone stops me to ask me "if I'm going to school for anything." I feel like SpongeBob after he forgot his name sometimes.
    via Intelligent-Neck-623
  • 20
    Font - skweekykleen69 . 2 days ago Yes and good servers know to read their guests. You can quickly tell who wants the full dining experience, conversation, suggestions, extra attention, etc., and who wants to tell you their order and have you leave them alone.
    via skweekykleen69
  • 21
    Font - Janefire 2 days ago I've started realizing there's a specific server at my work who gets mediocre tips quite often and on busy nights I find that people in their section specifically are flagging me down for refills, boxes, etc. I can tell they resent working there and this sounds like them, lol.
    via Janefire
  • 22
    Rectangle - ILikeMasterChief 2 days ago Also if the clientele sucks, move to a better restaurant! It's one of the best perks of the job lol
    via ILikeMasterChief
  • 23
    Font - vglyog - 2 days ago Yes sometimes it really is constant slooty clientele. I used to work at California pizza kitchen inside a mall. Constant $0 tips or 10%. My manager had the nerve to ask me if it was my service style. Meanwhile I'd go to the steakhouse I work at that same night and pull 20%-22% averages.
    via vglyog
  • 24
    Font - ILikeMasterChief. 2 days ago Yupp. My first was outback steakhouse, blech. Awful people in general, and they didn't tip on top of being the neediest people I've ever served.
    via ILikeMasterChief
  • 25
    Facial expression - "Servers who act like this and then say 'tipping is broken' make us all look bad. Go work in data entry."
    via u/canva

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opinion bad tips employee server servers waiter work debate tipping restaurant employees server life tipping-culture america host hostess reddit thread waitress Reddit
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