‘It was dumb of her to call me’ Irrational Man Screams at Caring Wife for Calling to Make Sure He Wasn’t Caught in a Fire

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for yelling at my wife after she blew up my phone with calls because of a fire? Throwaway because some of this made local news and I don't want it connecting back to me. I work in a place where we are not allowed to have personal electronics on us at all. No phones, no smart watches, no pagers. I've been working here for about 6 months so my wife knows this and understands that she should not try to contact me by my cell at work. Phones are dropped off in our lockers and I typically
  • 02
    Font - Recently there was a pretty big fire at a secondary worksite that I do work at occasionally but that day I was working at the main building. Local news covered the fire before I found out about it because again no electronics, plus the work we do isolates. us a bit so news travels pretty slowly. There were a few casualties, a lot of seriously injured folk. My wife had been watching the news from home and started freaking out, I guess. She called me 20 freaking times, which (and I did not
  • 03
    Font - I won't lie...when I saw those 20 missed calls from my wife I was seriously pissed off. Like I said, she knows not to try to contact me directly and a citation hurt my chances of getting a raise or promotion. I called her back and she was sobbing and asking me if I was okay. I said of course I was okay and asked what the f*ck was wrong with her to call me so many times. She was still crying and started talking about the fire. After that I started half-yelling at her about all the reasons
  • 04
    Font - kspi7010 . 5h Asshole Aficionado [12] 5 Awards YTA, holy fuck she was concerned for your safety. Also, just have your phone on silent and then it won't matter how many times people call or text you.
  • 05
    Font - Dabbles-In-Irony. 5h Certified Proctologist [23] 5 Awards YTA. Your wife was worried that you could have been killed and you're upset that she was checks notes concerned about you? Do you not understand human emotions? She was panicking. She wasn't thinking about your possible promotion, she was thinking that you could be seriously hurt or even dead. All she wanted to do in that moment was hear your voice and hear it tell her that you're okay and that you love her and you'll be home safe.
  • 06
    Font - bigcup321 5h Colo-rectal Surgeon [48] ● 3 Awards Never seen somebody more YTA. It's mindblowing that you even have to come here and ask this question. SHE THOUGHT WAS AFRAID YOU WERE DEAD. IT WAS A REASONABLE CONCERN. So what if she overreacted? So what if she made some logical errors in her panic? She cared about you. Does any part of you want her to care if you're dead? Also, have you been tested for any kind of mental/emotional issue that may account for you completely missing somethin
  • 07
    Font - 1 Award There were a few casualties, a lot of seriously injured folk. My wife had been watching the news from home and started freaking out, I guess. YTA Mobius_Stripping. 5h Asshole Aficionado [18] which (and I did not know this was possible) overrode my DND and my phone was ringing YTA she was sobbing and asking me if I was okay. I said of course I was okay and asked what the f*ck was wrong with her and yup, YTA
  • 08
    Font - onay mdkroma 5h Certified Proctologist [24] YTA what the hell is wrong with your boss? We have an employee's spouse, who is legitimately and reasonably concerned that her their husband has been critically injured, and he's penalizing you? You need to grow a pair and have him remove that citation.
  • 09
    Font - Neravariine. 5h Asshole Aficionado [15] YTA. She didn't know if you could have been one of those casualties or not. You should be mad at your boss, not her. She cared enough to try to reach you but you react to that with anger.
  • 10
    Font - rapt2right 5h Supreme Court Just-ass [129] . YTA She wasn't blowing up your phone for fun, she was fucking terrified! but your wife? Your boss is an AH, you're an AH, She's just a woman who was justifiably panicked about your safety. Apologize, profusely. (And turn your phone off instead of DND if your boss is going to be such a prick)
  • 11
    Font - LKSnyd. 5h YTA. Good god, your poor wife. On so many fronts. Your employer is also a giant ass. If one of their worksites was involved in a fire that resulted in casualties, they should have been offering counseling for employees and their families, not writing people up when their families are trying to reach them because they fear they are dead.
  • 12
    Font - The Avenged Samael • 4h Yes YTA and so is your employer If something happens to your wife or daughter how the fuck would they reach you? Would you make your little scene because you got called about it too ? She was stressed, and crying, she panicked for a good time but no, instead or reassuring her you took your frustration out on her and think a half felt sorry will change something. She's right to be pissed, she cares about your safety and she might feel like you don't care about hers
  • 13
    Font - Realistic Head4279.5h Certified Proctologist [20] 1 Award Actually, your workplace is the AH here. So, your phone was ringing in a locker. Big deal. As for your wife, she needed to be reassured you were okay. She could have handled it differently, but in her panic of thinking you'd been hurt I suspect she was not thinking clearly. Forgive her and apologize for yelling at her and not thinking how this affected her. Work out how she will handle getting information if another such incident s
  • 14
    Font - Tyrone_Shoelaces_Esq. 3h Partassipant [1] Yeah, I think next time there's a fire, she won't call nearly as often, if she calls at all.
  • 15
    Font - RandomGuy_81.5h Asshole Aficionado [11] Yta its always such a tragedy when someone has a spouse that cares whether they live or die You didnt mute your phone so that was your own fault. I dont know about android but iphone has a setting to override dnd Shame she didnt call your workplace to find out. Places that dont allow personal devices should provide alternate ways to contact in case of emergencies Even after you knew why you were still an ass Your workplace was wrong for not involvin
  • 16
    Font - oi84937e5h omg dude she was fucking SCARED that you died!!! And you yelled at her?!?! YTA
  • 17
    Font - setomonkey • 4h YTA for sure, how could you not understand your wife's reaction was normal and because she was worried about you? Even if she knew you're rarely at the secondary job site, that's not zero. Yes she might have called the office instead but she was panicking. Plus who knows if she would have gotten an answer, I'm sure lots of people called the office after the news about the fire And your manager (and your company) are major AHs too. First, you didn't break any rule, you had
  • 18
    Font - WhosMimi 5h Asshole Aficionado [16] YTA. She thought you might be injured or worse. Calling 20 times in such a scenario isn't insane, she was panicked, it's a human reaction. She had no way of knowing that calling that many times would cause such an issue. Frankly, knowing the circumstances, I'm appalled that they wrote you up for this. You could not have been the only one there with a panicking loved one on the outside. People died in this incident. Try to put yourself in her shoes, woul
  • 19
    Font - nodsaredunb. 5h She called me 20 freaking times, which (and I did not know this was possible) overrode my DND and my phone was ringing for a while in my locker. I assumed you worked in a SCIF, but considering you don't know that most phones have a setting that allows repeat callers to get through indicates you don't work in a SCIF and you just have horrible management at your job YTA
  • 20
    Font - IndependentEarth123 . 5h Would you prefer for your wife to hear the news that a building you sometimes work in burned down and there were casualties and think, "Well, he puts his phone in his locker so I'll just wait and see if he comes home rather than see if my husband is alive. No big deal if he burned to death and I don't find out for a few hours more. He has anger issues and isn't respectful of my feelings so maybe it wouldn't be the biggest loss?"
  • 21
    Font - 5h cuervoguy2002. Asshole Enthusiast [7] Info. Is there some kind of worksite number she could have called instead? Like I understand her fear, but I have to feel like, if the first 10 calls on your cell didn't go through, then there must have been other options besides keep calling the cell, especially if its some where you only work very occasionally.
  • 22
    Font - Makototoko. 5h Do you care about your wife's feelings? She felt panic thinking something happened to you...but of course because your shitty boss yelled at you at work you feel the need to continue the chain of aggression and take it out on your wife. Look at the big picture here. Your lucky enough to have a wife that cares so much about you. Don't punish her for your work's shitty policy. YTA
  • 23
    Font - nomorewhatyiffs. 5h YTA: Keep it up and she won't care next time my dude.
  • 24
    Rectangle - face-in-a-crowd. 5h Seems like she worried about you because she loves you. Do you in return? YTA for your rude over the top reaction
  • 25
    Human body - ListenNo7632 - 5h YTA, Oh what a shame your wife is worried about you and you yell at her.

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