Teacher Shocks Fellow Educators After Saying Her Coworkers Aren't "Her Family"

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 8, 2023 8:00 PM EDT

Some workplaces are really good at getting employees emotionally close to one another. Sometimes that's caused by hiring super-friendly people who will make friends everywhere they go. Other times, it's boosted by a bunch of employees who don't have any other friends outside of work, so they rely heavily on going to the office to have a social life. Most of the time, it's not that nefarious. A lot of workplaces just have a very social culture, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that. 

Things start to go downhill when employers insist on calling their staff "a family." I know they are not literally calling them their family, but it can be a slippery slope to manipulate workers into doing things because they feel like they have familial obligations to do so. One teacher called out the precarious nature of the "family" label, and her coworkers were not pleased to hear her pushback. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/antiwork u/Ok-Computer7028 • 17h Co-workers consider us a family SHOCKED I said I didn't First day back to my teaching job, looking at two weeks of "professional development" full of ice breakers, role playing, and god knows what else....I'm not thrilled to say the least. So we're creating our "community agreements" and "operational principles" (please tell me someone knows the difference between the two because none of us did). We're discussing things like boundaries in regards to comm
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  • 02
    Font - teaching field. Boss starts to go off about how much of a family we are and that we should treat each other like family. He's been using that phrasing all day at that point and I got frustrated and blurrted out, "but we're not family, we're coworkers." Guys, it's like I told a room full of kindergartners that Santa wasn't real... People were HURT! I quickly said that I love and respect the people I work with but I think it's unhealthy to relate our obligations to our families with our job
    via u/Ok-Computer7028
  • 03
    Rectangle - chaingun_samurai - 13h 'I spent 8 years not talking to my father. If I did that here, I'd get fired." Reply 3.3k
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  • 04
    Handwriting - blog-goblin Right? The "we're a family here" crap doesn't appeal to a lot of us the way they seem to expect. 944 13h ●
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  • 05
    Font - HamfastFurfoot • 10h "I'm sorry, grandma, but we are going to have to let you go. Frankly, your work performance has been suffering the last few years and due to economic forces we have to make cuts somewhere." 495
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  • 06
    Rectangle - thetoadontheroad. 11h Families often tolerate the drunk racist uncle, and he still gets invited to Christmas. Workplaces shouldn't. ... 114
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  • 07
    Font - O Meek_Oligarch_NWO 14h You're absolutely right We kid ourselves to ease the pain of being a wage slave ... Reply 1.9k
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  • 08
    Font - leifnoto 12h 1 Award I have to disagree. I think of my co-workers the same way I think of my family, I hate them all. 952
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  • 09
    Font - Extra-Knowledge3337 • 13h I was told the "we're a family" crap and I asked what are they doing to fix that and restore professionalism. They looked at me like I sprouted horns so I went on to say that family dynamics in the workplace lead to discord, exploitation and lack of boundaries. I did not get the job. Reply 4 1.3k
    via u/Extra-Knowledge3337
  • 10
    Font - Technical-General-27 • 11h Probably dodged a bullet ... 288
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  • 11
    Font - professorstrunk. 10h More than probably. There's a great book called "Your Boss is Not Your Mother." It gets into the whole issue of projecting dysfunctional family dynamics onto workplace relationships. 217
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  • 12
    Font - Aardvarksarethejam. 11h Nah. Working in an institution requires a little assimilation. Even it's is fake. They all knew that the family line is politico speak, but the commenter said the quiet part out loud. Institutions dont like that. Just smile and wave and collect the paycheck. Yes, you'll lose a bit of your soul each day, but who uses that anyway. ... 68
    via u/Aardvarksarethejam
  • 13
    Font - SpaceBear2598 10h ● "We're a family" translates to "there's not going to be very much paycheck to collect and it won't be keeping up with expenses". Collectively, we need to not "assimilate" to a culture of being impoverished so someone else can be rich. ... 95
    via u/SpaceBear2598
  • 14
    Font - Deaddoghank • 14h Drop the kids off at your bosses place unannounced. Tell him you and your partner our heading for a dinner date. Family right. Reply 567
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  • 15
    Font - MrPresident 2020 - 13h I recently started my own business. Only 3 other people right now but as we grow the first rule I will drill into new hires is this isn't your family, this is your job. You don't owe us anything but the work you were hired for. ... Reply 224
    via u/MrPresident2020
  • 16
    Font - XenoRyet 11h ● Which is oddly more family-like than corporations that try to exploit the family dynamic. ↑ 75 + ...
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  • 17
    Font - New_Net2372 • 13h Lol it's a cult ... Reply 244
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  • 18
    Font - Ok-Computer7028 OP • 13h It kinda is...a National Charter (the big one). The amount of money they spend on merch and weird corporate leadership retreats. I'm calling out of our regional pep rally at a local casino tomorrow because I can't stand the chants and weird motivational speakers. ... 194
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  • 19
    Font - dot5621 15h ● Cool, call them at 3qm and see if they ok with family check ups. Reply 251
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  • 20
    Font - Nate-T 12h My wife taught high school math for three years before she burnt out. Kept drawing the short straw on administrators. I really think it was her first year that broke her though. Her classes had a high rate of people not turning in assignments. She tried everything, reminders, messaging and calling parents, offering amnesty if they turned it in. Nothing seemed to work. Her principal, seeing this, just told her to pass everyone, and when she refused because you had to earn grades
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  • 21
    Font - Largvt 13h Of course, they do this at my work, too. Yes, it grinds my gears down to nubs. I have a filter that sends anything with Phamily to go straight to my deleted folder. You can probably guess my line of work. Instant eye roll. I think it's supposed to create some illusion we are all interconnected when really administrators are grasping at straws to be relevant. Also think its to make us feel like we should make more sacrifices for their benefit, like their seeming inability to fin
    via u/Largvt

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jobs toxic-workplace teach job teaching work coworkers teachers awesome teacher teacher toxic-boss back to school workplace education coworker toxic-work-environment
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