'$5.00 reward if returned to Tony': Dad exacts hilarious revenge on town grouch by adding his name to books and leaving them about the place

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Oct 18, 2023 12:00 PM EDT

It's not worth getting worked up about minor slights. It's, quite frankly, a waste of time and energy. Usually, the advice here would be to take the high road and get on with your life, but you might also choose, instead, to go away and plot a petty act of meticulous, calculated revenge that will exact itself repeatedly over the course of years following. As the revenge takes its course, the target will be repeatedly wondering why on earth this is happening to them, having long since forgotten about their actions against you.

This is the road that this dad took against the town's "cantankerous old braggart," Tony, who had a habit of being an obnoxious nuisance to everyone around town. Having had enough of Tony's attitude, the dad set about exacting his petty vengeance on Tony, adding Tony's name and address to a trove of old books and adding a note promising a reward for their return. He then set about distributing the books far and wide, ensuring that Tony would be permanently perplexed about these errant books. 

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  • 01
    World - "Let's just say, every time he answered the door it cost him $5..."
    via Mykyta Martynenko
  • 02
    Font - Posted by u/sweetbeee1 Ding Dong.... My father was the MASTER at petty revenge, he always claimed he'd be "waiting in the gap" for the right moment! Then he'd seize it, sometime it would take years.... but he'd get you. Back in the 80's, He would go for coffee in the local coffee shop down in Pass Christian Mississippi, full of retirees talking about various things over a cup of Joe. This guy Tony was a cantankerous old braggart
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 03
    Font - and always had to one up everyone. Dad got tired of it, was walking away one day and passed the library... they had tables out front and were selling off old books for a dime each, this was a deal he couldn't pass up as he had a plan. At night, as he listened to his tv shows he inscribed each book with the following, "IF FOUND, $5.00 reward if returned to Tony Barrard at 307 Girard St, etc". The next step was slow distribution,
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 04
    Font - every time he left the house, he'd grab a few books, pass a bench, drop one... waiting room, drop one, this went on for months. Meanwhile, Tony was getting knocks on his door at various hours, and standing there, books in hand, college kids, homeless people, couples with kids, all doing their good deed, returning his book for the reward. Furious, he'd grab the book, but they'd then tell them how far they'd come to
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 05
    Font - see that he'd gotten his book back ...and, ...and, ...and he promised a reward. Let's just say, every time he answered the door it cost him $5 and this went on & on. He was still a jk & made my Dad annoyed but my Dad would just chuckle knowing how angry it was making him and he never found out who did it!!!
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 06
    Font - alwaysyardening - 12 hr. ago I love this so much 101 Reply Share 6 ●●● leyifi5 42 min. ago Imagine if someone made short animated episodes of these petty petty revenges Reply Share
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 07
    Font - PapessaEss 10 hr. ago Simple, elegant, fiendish. I'm taking notes, btw. 66 Reply Share
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 08
    Font - ShalomRPh 6 hr. ago I heard about a guy who kept leaving his umbrella on the bus, or wherever. He'd put his name and address in them, but none ever got back to him. Finally he had a better idea. He put his name and address, and a note "If you find this umbrella, keep it, and mail me a dollar." Sure enough, he lost it again. Over the next six months, he got eleven dollars in the mail. 34 Reply Share
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 09
    Font - dmitrineilovich 11 hr. ago *scribbles notes furiously* 25 Reply Share
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 10
    Font - thisiztoofar 12 hr. ago Omg I needed this story in my life! Reply Share 38 ●
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 11
    Font - BlueKnight87125 10 hr. ago Hard knock life for poor Tony. 15 Reply Share chemprofdave 9 hr. ago Well, he's poorer now. ↑ 7 Reply Share
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 12
    Font - Equivalent_Annual314 9 hr. ago This is next level black magic type of petty revenge! 11 Reply Share ●●●
    via u/sweetbeee1
  • 13
    Font - Rachel Silver 7 hr. ago ● I hope your dad made sure to select books that Tony would never, ever read. 5 Reply Share RevRagnarok 4 hr. ago All the bodice rippers! 3 Reply Share
    via u/sweetbeee1

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neighbors petty-revenge-reddit neighborhood homeowner neighborhood-drama bad neighbors neighborhood-stories petty revenge terrible neighbors Bad Neighbor neighbor
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