40 Hilarious Dating and Family Tweets to Show That All Our Relationships Are Interconnected

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  • 01
    Font - cinnamon apple @konylishious Follow Living room people come from happy stable family environments Samaria @samariajdavis_ Oct 20 Are y'all living room or bedroom people? I will stay in my bed alll day. ●
  • 02
    Font - Esther Essien @EstherEssien_ Follow If we are dating and your family likes me,when we break up we become siblings I won't lose a good family because of your stubbornness.
  • 03
    Gesture - Rinnie @RinnieOathkeepe When your husband is unexpectedly home and you don't want him to see all the clothes you just bought LOOK AWAY! >
  • 04
    Font - Tizzle @papi_tizzle Follow At this point, my family members will consider arranged marriage because I'm not progressing in this dating pool.
  • 05
    Font - Atty. Goldee Batara, .. @thecovered Follow Protect your marriage from these five things: XToxic family members XToo much screen time XToo child-centered marriage XOvercrowded schedule XOverly materialism
  • 06
    Automotive parking light - DPW @pondermymaker (100 miles from exit) Wife: You need to get in the right lane. am
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  • 07
    Rectangle - Emergenc & 911 Twin Dad @TwinSurvivalist [Husband 911] Me: I just shattered the gravy boat. 911: She'll kill you. M: I know. 911: We never spoke. M: What? hold 911: Good luck * Click*
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  • 08
    Dress shirt - Amy Dillon @amydillon POLD ME: I bought you some new undershirts. HIM: [genuinely] That's exciting. NARRATOR: Marriage.
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  • 09
    Joint - Valerie @ValeeGrrl Oh your husband bought you a designer handbag? Mine ordered me my very own large pizza
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  • 10
    Gesture - professional side... @sumhotdum. h Follow Dating a man with a healthy family dynamic is so weird to me. ●●●
  • 11
    Water - The Weiss Life @TheWeissLife Am I the only person that makes her husband sleep on the side of the bed that's closest to the door so he would get murdered first if someone broke in?
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  • 12
    Mouth - Swim Jeans @Short Sleeve Suit My wife just found a coupon for lice treatment and yelled to everyone in the house "if you're gonna get lice, people, get it now!"
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  • 13
    Font - John Stapleton @BalletMischief Wife: last night I woke up, your elbow was on my mouth. Me: oh I'm sorry W: eh, it was kinda comfortable, so I left it there.
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  • 14
    Food - Simon Holland @simoncholland I didn't even know I was the loudest cereal eater in the world until I got married.
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  • 15
    Food - Josh @iwearaonesie wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes? me: They're for the dogs wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs? me: They don't know how
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  • 16
    Font - Tony P. @Tbone7219 Wife is going out tonight.... Who wants to come over and talk and ask questions during a movie?
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  • 17
    Font - A My husband's favorite place to stand is right in front of whatever cabinet I need. Jawbreaker @sixfootcandy
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  • 18
    Font - Maybe She... @CantWait ToNap The longer you're married, the louder he sneezes. >
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  • 19
    Rectangle - Betty @BoomBoomBetty I will stubbornly die of hypothermia before I admit to my spouse that yes, maybe I did turn down the air conditioning too far.
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  • 20
    Rectangle - lifelovesarcasmsolitude @lifelovehumor Wife: I am not talking to you. Husband: Okay. Wife: Don't you want to know the reason? Husband: No, I respect and trust your decision! >
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  • 21
    Human body - Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP The hardest part of marriage is resisting temptation. Women just don't understand how hard it is not to use a decorative towel.
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  • 22
    Font - Jawbreaker @sixfootcandy I describe my husband's style as "Is that what you're wearing?"
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  • 23
    Gesture - Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness "Tired?" ~Married people foreplay
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  • 24
    Tableware - Some Boys' Mother @someboysmother I know it looks like my husband and I are eating in silence and ignoring each other, but we're eavesdropping on you so we can talk about you in the car.
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  • 25
    Shelf - Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 Sent my husband to the store & then turned off my phone because it's time to teach independence.
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  • 26
    Font - Simon Holland @simoncholland My wife just asked for help finding something and now I have to walk around this Home Depot pretending I don't know her.
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  • 27
    Facial expression - Lonnie Hicks @Lnnie My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off.
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  • 28
    Font - Donna McCoy @Donna McCoy Until I got married I didn't even know it was possible to chew bubblegum arrogantly.
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  • 29
    Font - Cathryn @AngryRaccoon2 I'm pretty sure my husband didn't breathe this loudly when I met him.
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  • 30
    Handwriting - Mark Agee @MarkAgee Being married grants you one superpower and that's the ability to tell what couples just had a fight in the car right before a party
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  • 31
    Font - Josh @iwearaonesie wife: Let's fool around after the kids go to bed narrator: But they never did fool around <
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  • 32
    Human body - QT@Anon @QTAnon1 I asked my wife why she married me. She said "Because you're really funny." I said: "I thought it was because I'm good in bed." She said: "See? You're hilarious."
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  • 33
    Product - Kent Graham @KentWGraham My wife just replied to my email with "Unsubscribe."
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  • 34
    Font - Cal Follow @Calvintbfh you to If we're dating, I encourage openly talk to your friends, family, and loved ones about us. It's never gossip to me; instead, it helps hold us accountable and guides us towards what's best for our relationship.
  • 35
    Font - Bobo au Cœur @aLsInAKhEnZie Follow Dating to marry I want a family not a relationship
  • 36
    Font - Awele. Follow @AweleNwandu Marriage is no jokes. The real deal of living with someone, having kids, growing in every sphere of life, training your kids, appreciating yourself & family, facing life challenges along side this person and keeping your family happy, prosperous & in sync. If u like no pray
  • 37
    Font - Echo -- @TheEcho13 Follow Let's return to couples who care more about honoring their marriage and building a family legacy together rather than instant gratification and self-serving behavior.
  • 38
    Font - kha Follow @smartgworl love being on the same page as my partner regarding marriage and family planning. really mainly love that we're not afraid to voice our true feelings abt it all. I'll never wait for a proposal or baby because all that is planned lol.
  • 39
    Font - Shar Follow @memethirudi I know a girl who got married recently tricking her entire family into believing that's an arranged marriage but they've been in a relationship for 12 f ing years! Shri Hac... @shriha... Oct 23 Arranged marriage but you arranged it is actually a chad move
  • 40
    Organism - Masoom Sanyal @Masoom_sanyal Reading all these family law cases for divorce and judicial separation have me questioning the institution of marriage all over again. Sigh! Follow ●●●

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