'Break time is alone time': Employee stops eating lunch with annoying coworkers, one takes it personally and starts sabotaging her

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Oct 28, 2023 4:00 PM EDT

There is something to be said for creating a healthy distance with your coworkers. Most folks understand this choice. The ways in which people choose to draw boundaries between their work and their social lives are personal choices. However, as much as you would think everyone would understand those choices, some folks simply don't get it. Like the coworkers who keep inviting you to events that you continually turn down…

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  • This Redditor did not enjoy being mocked during lunch with her coworkers and decided to start eating her food at her desk so as to create boundaries. This was, of course, entirely her own decision to make, and it also gave her some space during her break time. However, one coworker took this decision too personally and believed she was entitled to start exhibiting aggressive sabotage in the workplace. Naturally, this made her workplace environment all the more unpleasant and toxic. 

    Keep scrolling below to see how people reacted to the coworker's antics and what their suggestions were moving forward. If something like this has happened to you, feel free to share your experiences as well. We've all had nasty coworkers. For more stories like this, check out this list of stories about employees who quit on the first day. 

  • 01
    Font - I stopped eating lunch with my coworkers after 1 year I think one of them took it personally and honestly she's definitely part of the reason why I stopped going to the cafeteria and began eating at my desk.
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 02
    Font - She would make comments about my phone use at the lunch table and talk about how skinny I am. I just sort of cut my lunch break to 30 minutes instead of 1 hr...then gradually stopped jointing the team entirely.
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 03
    Font - This coworker now announces my mistakes in the 8am meeting before even a hello or good morning. Have I ruined my career by doing this? I might need this job to pay for my education.
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 04
    Font - Total-Addendum9327 · 7 hr. ago Your coworker is you should report it to HR. 839 Reply Share
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 05
    Font - NoBushido 4 hr. ago You're right, but the problem is, most HR's really don't give a O. Unless you have something you can bring to court and hold them liable, they'll sweep it all under the rug. Been there myself/ 245 Reply Share
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 06
    Font - frantik1234 4 hr. ago I havent eaten with my co workers in several . years. Break time is alone time lol 4 836 Reply Share
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 07
    Font - Horror Personality49. 4 hr. ago I had several bosses who wanted to pressure me into taking my breaks the way they deemed correct. Like where I got my food from, where I ate, with whom. I would always politely inform them since my breaks are time off cause they don't pay me during that time they also got no say in what I do during that time 284 Reply Share
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 08
    Font - UnknownPleasures3. 7 hr. ago I mean, I don't think it should ruin anything for you at work if you get your job done. However, it does to go to work if you have a strained relationship with a coworker.
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 09
    Font - It's not okay to comment on someone's body. Do you think you can talk to this person about it? I know people have different comfort levels in terms of "confrontation" but I find that it's best to set boundaries like "Please refrain from commenting on my body" or "I don't appreciate my body being a conversation topic". 83 Reply Share
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 10
    Font - orangeEddie 3 hr. ago 8Am meetings? That alone is a reason to quit 64 Reply Share
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 11
    Font - NoBushido 4 hr. ago Just ignore it. Seriously. I know what they're doing is petty and that they should have a manager check them for it, but if you want to really someone like this off, give them nothing. No looks, concern for what they say, or acknowledgment of their existence. In my experience, this eats them up and feeds into their paranoia, which is really the only payback you can get. Oh, and don't say anything about this person to anyone else you work with either.
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 12
    Font - Remember, you're there to work and under no obligation to socialize with or like anyone you work with. 40 Reply Share
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 13
    Font - bad_genejeans OP. 2 hr. ago That's what I'm currently doing. If the comments in meetings get worse I will probably change tactics.
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 14
    Font - seahorse8021. 4 hr. ago I'd ask them why they're so bothered by you spending your break how you see fit, and if you even feel so inclined, tell them their bigO mouth is the reason why you stopped joining them. Make them understand it's their own doing.
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 15
    Font - me_hq 4 hr. ago Talk to your manager.
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 16
    Font - MonkeyWithKittens 3 hr. ago Document all your interactions with her in a notebook or personal drive in case this behaviour escalates. For now though, you can play stupid and cheerful to her bad behaviour.
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 17
    Font - When she starts off a meeting by listing your mistakes, reply with a big smile on your face, "Good morning to you too, Name, thanks for the feedback. What's the next item in the agenda?" If you pretend you don't see the malicious intent, it will drive her bananas.
    via u/bad_genejeans
  • 18
    Font - If you want to socialize with other people at work on your lunch break, maybe see if you can arrange a lunchtime activity, like a walking group, Toastmasters, some kind of hobby group? You might be able to reserve a conference room for lunch and learn sessions? These kind of things make you look good to management and might make your breaks more enjoyable.
    via u/bad_genejeans

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terrible coworkers workplace-stories work stories toxic-workplace job work coworkers lunch toxic-boss Horrible Bosses reddit thread Reddit company toxic-work-environment
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