‘This is beautiful:’ People in love share their underrated ‘healthy relationship moment’ of when they realized their partner truly cared

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Nov 14, 2023 5:00 PM EST

The other day I asked my mom how she knew my dad was "the one." They have been together 30+ years and still act like teenagers in love. It's refreshing, but also almost feels delusional, because it's not something you see often. Growing up I always imagined it like a Disney's "love at first sight" kind of thing. However, she confessed to me it wasn't until well after they got married that she was 100% sure. Sure, the big declarations of love are romantic, but sustaining a healthy relationship takes more than just passion (though that is an important part). My mom confessed to me that it wasn't until they had already been together 20+ years that she was finally 100% sure that my dad was her "soulmate." What was the moment? It wasn't just one, but it was all the little things he did and said after her father passed. It turns out, when it comes down to it, it is the little things that are down during the big moments that are the most important. Sometimes it doesn't even take any words. The people below seem to corroborate that sentiment with their beautiful intimate stories of when they realized their partner truly cared. 

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    Cheezburger Image 9837167360
    via Ron Lach via Pexels
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    Posted by u/strangelyahuman 2 days ago What's the most caring thing your SO has done for you?
    via u/strangelyahuman
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    geminiauture 2 days ago He bathed me for three weeks while I was recovering from surgery. Washed my hair and my body, helped me dry off and get dressed, brushed my hair and put lotion on for me, and cuddled me in bed afterward. I'd never been so vulnerable, and he embraced it without a second thought.
    via u/geminiauture
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    bitter_sweet_69. 2 days ago 9 she motivated me to quit drinking (alcohol). it was our first (small but serious) argument. but she explained plausibly that she worries about my well-being and wants to keep me safe and healthy, so that we can grow old together. i haven't touched a drop ever since, i feel better than ever, and she's making it worth my while.
    via u/bitter_sweet_69
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    dancingmobsters 2 days ago When my dad did, he dropped everything at work, cancelled all of his meetings, and came home to comfort me. I told him that wasn't necessary, and I would've been fine until he got off work at his normal time but he looked at me sternly and
    via u/dancingmobsters
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    said "all that stuff can wait, there is nothing more important to me than you" This is just the main thing that comes to mind, but he proves that statement daily in everything that he does, I'm incredibly lucky to have him
    via u/dancingmobsters
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    kka430 2 days ago We had a very traumatic experience bringing our first baby into the world. So much so we weren't sure if we'd ever have another even though two was always the plan. When we did finally have a second baby my husband insisted on taking the night shift (we formula fed from day 1) because he didn't want me to suffer mentally like I did the first time (I had depression and lack of sleep really ked with me). I
    via u/kka430
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    tried a few times to take over, especially once I felt physically better but my husband wouldn't let me. He insisted that I did enough during the day and it was something he wanted to do to make things easier for me. No marriage including ours is perfect or without issues but I will never forget that my husband did this for me and how much it really did help me heal and bond with my baby post partum.
    via u/kka430
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    _fairywren 2 days ago One that springs to mind is when I was working at a school and the canteen was closed that day. I forgot to bring my lunch and there wasn't anywhere else I could go and eat in the time available for my lunch break. My SO drove my lunch out to me - 50 mins each way. When I told him how much it meant to me, he kind of shrugged it off like "as if I'd let you go hungry, it was a no brainer."
    via u/_fairywren
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    He is constantly doing things with this energy though. Right now we both have c vid. We put in an online grocery order and I'd asked him to add a bottle of soda water. I'd meant the home brand stuff but he got me a San Pellegrino because he wanted to treat me. It's every single day. And I do the same for him in the ways I know he feels appreciated.
    via u/_fairywren
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    littleghool 2 days ago There's so many, but I'm gonna mention a small, kinda silly one. We were in Walmart looking at brooms, and he put one back on the shelf as he inspected a different one. However, he didn't put it securely on the shelf. It fell off the shelf and smacked me right on the head. That really hurt! He immediately grabbed me and started hugging and kissing my head and profusely apologizing over and over.
    via u/littleghool
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    Even after I assured him I was okay, he was super attentive the rest of the day and kept asking if I had a headache and bought me a Reese's because he felt bad
    via u/littleghool
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    Ancient Lion2039 2 days ago We were dating for a month when this happened, but it made me feel loved. I was vacationing with my parents when someone called us to say that my dog passed away. We returned early from vacations to be with our other dog and arrange everything. Two days later, I saw the guy. He hugged me as soon as he saw me and then he showed me some pics of a crab he found earlier that day (he knows I love crabs). So he told me he was driving when he saw the crab on the street,
    via u/Ancient_Lion2039
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    stopped the car, walked to the animal, took some pics and waited for it to cross the street safely. All that just because I like crabs. And he thought of me and showed me the pics that same day because he wanted to cheer me up. He didn't just cheer me up, he made me feel loved and important and definitely not alone
    via u/Ancient_Lion2039
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    DragonFlyMeToThe Moon 2 days ago We were moving, and I had to say goodbye to a lot of really special people to me earlier in the day, followed by a packed day of family hangouts where I was certain I did an awesome job hiding my devastation and pretending to be great. I laughed and joked and had a great time. When we got home and went to bed, he turned out the light. I waited until I thought he was asleep, he heard. one tiny sniffle, and said "I know.
    via u/DragonFlyMeToTheMoon
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    Come here" and wrapped his arms around me while I cried on his chest. He knew, even if I seemed fine all day, that I wasn't and that I would need him when the day was finally quiet. I'm not much of a crier, so for him to know me well enough to know that I was going to cry when I thought no one would know was so touching to me. He pretended to be asleep and waited for it so he could take care of me. That man is so precious
    via u/DragonFlyMeToTheMoon
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    pinkkittyycat 2 days ago He always takes care of me when I'm on my period, washes my hair, rubs my feet, gives me back rubs, gets up at all hours of the night to get me hot water bottles without question, gets me painkillers, my favorite snacks and dinners, loads of cuddles and comfort, keeps me hydrated, buys me pads, I'm very lucky he is the absolute best
    via u/pinkkittyycat
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    AvailableAd6071 - 2 days ago I knew my husband loved me. I mean, I really did know it. But when I had a major, life threatening surgery, the first thing I remember waking up was him leaning over me. I was still out of it, sorta, but in so much pain. The look on his face, the tears in his eyes, the way he was touching my hair and kissing my face, saying it was going to be OK. I had no idea he loved me like that.
    via u/AvailableAd6071
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    anxious_leechee - 2 days ago I had a long day at work and a s ty day in generally. When I came home he had positioned one of my plushies holding a book I've been looking for, but couldn't find anywhere in the shop, along with some sweets and a handwritten letter. Made me cry :')
    via u/anxious_leechee
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    Desperate5389 2 days ago Cleans the house and does the laundry, all without discussing it with me. Like, he naturally thinks to vacuum every 2-3 days, does the dishes any time he notices dishes in the sink, cleans the bathrooms when he notices they need cleaned and does the laundry when he sees the baskets are full. I literally never have to think about these things. 15 years married
    via u/Desperate5389
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    britzka 1 day ago Two years ago, on my birthday my super beloved dog died unexpectedly. I spent the day crying and trying to dig his grave. It had been a really rough year for my family. I wasn't on speaking terms with my father which already had me dreading my birthday, because it would be the first birthday I didn't speak to my father. Well late in the afternoon my dad called me, I was shocked. He was a bit gruff
    via u/britzka
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    me, I was shocked. He was a bit gruff with me but it was the beginning of healing. I discovered months later by accident that my boyfriend had secretly reached out to my step mother to make it happen. That was a really awful day and I couldn't have gotten through without him. Excuse me while I go initiate a Good Morning BJ to that saint of a man.
    via u/britzka
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    throwawaysuess - 2 days ago When I got Cid the first time, I barricaded myself in our bedroom and slept for the better part of 5.5 days. We only had two sets of sheets and I was sweating through my sheets every night. Every morning he would get me out of bed, sit me on the front doorstep with a cup of tea, take the sheets from his airbed in the lounge and put them onto my bed. Then he tucked me back into
    via u/throwawaysuess
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    bed, topped up my supply of tea and cake that I was living off, and would wash my sweaty gross sheets before making up his airbed again. Every day for six days. We've been together nearly 17 years and I can't imagine my life without him in it.
    via u/throwawaysuess
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    CompanionCone . 1 day ago I am extremely weird and particular about tea mugs. When I find one that is *just* right, it becomes my default mug and nobody else is allowed to use it, because it's MY tea mug. So I had this mug, that was perfect, and my husband. accidently chipped it when putting dishes away. I found the mug in a charity shop so I didn't think it could be replaced, so I was already thinking "well
    via u/CompanionCode
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    I'll have to find a new perfect mug then", but my husband went and looked up the brand, found a place that sold it and bought me 4 of the exact same mugs, "so you have some spares". I still think it was such a sweet thing to do.
    via u/CompanionCode
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    allegedlys3 1 day ago Paid off my college loans pretty soon after we started dating (he was not rich, worked very hard for the $ he had). I asked him "but what if we don't work out?!" He said "then you'll be in a better place in life and you can think back on me fondly?" We just had our 15th wedding anniversary.
    via u/allegedlys3
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    udntsay 2 days ago I was at work and was having a horrible shift. He drove across town and brought me a giant milk shake to make me feel better. He also brought our dog so I could get a moment of love from her also. There are many other instances but this one came to mind.
    via u/udntsay
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    parasaursaddle - 1 day ago He was in a cleaning mood and came and brought me an antihistamine before he started.. I'm allergic to dust. It's the little things.
    via u/parasaursaddle
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    mckennah_A_D. 1 day ago My boyfriend and I got a horrendous stomach virus after camping. It hit when we were at our separate apartments and we both ended up being out for about 2-3 days. On the first day, he took some anti nausea medication and then drove over to my place to drop some off for me and then went back to his place to continue throwing up. It was really sweet lol.
    via u/mckennah_A_D
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    pavlovs_pavlova. 1 day ago When I was doing teacher training and I got to the stage just before I quit and I was crying every day. One night I just sobbed for about 10 minutes into his shirt and he just held me. He cried too because he said he didn't know how to help me. I think he still doesn't know that him being there holding me was all I needed.
    via u/pavlovs_pavlova

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