'SIR is reserved for those you respect': Commander demands respect, petty officer tells him he hasn't earned it

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Nov 26, 2023 7:00 AM EST

You can't command respect that you haven't earned, and just the mere fact that you're someone's superior doesn't mean you've earned anything. After all, there are plenty of people in positions of authority who have achieved that position for all the wrong reasons—usually because another person with a misunderstanding of leadership has granted it to them. You'll come across plenty of these authority figures in your life who wield their authority with impunity, demanding respect when they don't deserve any of it.

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  • This petty officer ran into one of these people, a commander who was one of the duty officers on the nuclear-powered warship where he was stationed as a corpsman during the Gulf War. The commander took issue with the fact that the petty officer never referred to him as “Sir” as a sign of respect; instead, he referred to him only by his rank as required by military courtesy. When the commander asked the petty officer why this was, the petty officer had a very frank and direct answer prepped—the kind of answer you usually only come up with in the shower hours later.

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    11.H U V.
    via Luemen Rutkowski
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    Posted by u/GERMgonewild 3 hours ago Military compliance S OC I was stationed aboard a ship during the first gulf War. It was a nuclear powered ship (important later) and so we had 'regular' crew (corpsman, navigation, fire controll etc.) And then we had what was affectionately call' inukes'. These were engineers and folks who ran the nuclear reactors. Everything was by the book for them, and they were either incapable of, or not allowed to think outside of regulation. [
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    Medical was a small department, so when we had duty, there was only one corpsman on-board. At 1900 (7pm) we had to report for 'duty head muster' where we had to report that our department was all secure to the Duty Officer Of The Day. So after one of these musters the commander who was in charge that day called me to his stateroom. He didn't like me anyway, so I figured he was just trying to make my life miserable for a while. He was a nuke.
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    I get to his stateroom, and there are a couple other nukes there with him, and he says "Petty Officer ******, I've noticed that you always address me as COMMANDER and never by SIR." I stood there for a moment trying to figure out where this was going. Finally he asked why.
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    I took a moment to ground myself, looked him straight in the eye, and said "well COMMANDER the UCMJ (uniform code of military justice) clearly states that I must address you as sir or by your proper rank. The way I was raised, the title SIR is reserved for those you respect"
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    He just stared at me as I stood there. He then dismissed me. As I walked out the door I said over my shoulder.... Have a wonderful evening COMMANDER.
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    prankerjoker 1 hr. ago ● Rear Admiral Yancy Graham: You watch yourself, Dodge! You are addressing a superior officer. Lt. Comd. Dodge: No... Merely a higher ranking one! --Down Periscope Vote Reply Share
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    Equivalent-Salary357 · 36 min. ago Down Periscope LOL, a documentary worthy of quoting. Vote Reply Share
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    SSNs4evr 20 min. ago I was on recruiting duty when that movie came out. HQ communicated with the recruiting stations via fax machine back then, and we all received a fax, forbidding anyone from being near a movie theater in uniform, if that movie was playing. Reply Share Vote
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    krakatoa83 - 1 hr. ago You want the people in charge of the nukes to follow the regs Keeps you alive consistently. Reply Share Vote karenwolfhound 49 min. ago Thank you for this. Vote Reply Share
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    revchewie 43 min. ago Clarification: nuclear power, not nuclear weapons. Vote Reply Share Equivalent-Salary357. 37 min. ago We still want them to follow the regs consistently, right? We don't want ships and sailors who set off Geiger counters. Vote Reply Share ●●●
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    LAegis 2 hr. ago With all due respect... Vote AngryCod 2 hr. ago Per my last email... Vote Reply Share Vote CoderJoel 2 hr. ago Per our conversation ●●● Reply Share Reply Share ●●●
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    slackerassftw. 2 hr. ago It was the same in the Army, especially with Lieutenants. You could tell when they had earned respect because they were referred to as the El Tee or sir. Vote Reply Share
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    revchewie 39 min. ago I was a I nuke at the same time-frame. One of the greatest moments for our department was when our senior chief (E-8) told a new ensign (0-1, and academy grad, so his didn't stink and he knew better than any enlisted could), "Sir, with all due respect, why don't you go to your stateroom where you belong and stay there!" We all loved Senior Chief! Vote Reply Share
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    -Hal-Jordan- 52 min. ago The fact that he was a nuc has nothing to do with this story. Reply Share Vote
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    Pure-Swordfish6022 2 hr. ago And then you cleaned the head every day until you left the military. Vote Reply Share ●●●
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    ImpressiveSell5404 1 hr. ago Nuke ET here. We all hate Vote I nukes, too. Reply Share
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    jazzman3557 · 1 hr. ago All branches of the military have officers like that. I was with one unit and we had a captain like that. It took our new chief (he was #3 in seniority for the Air Force) to set the captain down and tell him that his troops will shoot him in the back if he doesn't calm down. Later he told him that he was being reassigned to Minot AFB. Vote Reply Share
    via u/GERMgonewild
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    A Busarider0072 · 2 hr. ago I applaud you on that one. Well done. Vote Reply Share
    via u/GERMgonewild

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officer military military malicious compliance malicious compliance navy army
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