43 Funky Fresh Tweets From Twitter Users Who Don't Want to Call it X (December 2, 2023)

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  • 01
    Young Person @EricTrillman_ No footage just a piece of paper he a fraud like Wilt @Diegosrovaf. 1d 6 The flex I like to see I READ 1000 BOOKS 1000 BOOKS wwmaty NO #1000Books B4K is e compa
  • 02
    Horror4Kids @horror4kids repurposing that 12ft skeleton for thanksgiving 8:09 AM 11/21/23 1.1M Views 2.2K Reposts 145 Quotes
  • 03
    Tawanda @TawandaGona Andre dropping a flute album, Big Boi has pet owls. I love that OutKast went from rappers to NPCs in Zelda 12:54 PM 11/16/23 from Earth 454K Views 1.8K Reposts 108 Quotes 89 .
  • 04
    mkb @MatthewKBegbie This is so Jackie and JFK coded OR DUANEI Cauc 5:58 PM 11/23/23 from Earth 2.4M Views . 5.3K Reposts 151 Quotes .
  • 05
    gaz @gazpachomachine this japanese restaurant has a vegan version of their noodles & instead of taking a new photo they just censored out the egg 7:14 © 20% Vegan Soy Milk Ramen
  • 06
    my childhood chinese takeout was called "Wok 22" but every time they shut down for health/fire/tax reasons it would reopen under a new name and I just checked and they're on "Wok 28" RWOK 281 1634 L autodesk hate account @duckbldg. 3h there is this chinese place we like to get takeout from and incredibly it is called "wok! you want". when you call them they answer the phone with "wok you want?" and i would always reply "wok you got?" but they never laugh
  • 07
    anu Ⓒ @anuatluru adult friendships are just employing increasingly aggressive pressure tactics to get your friends to move to your city 10:28 AM 11/24/23 from Earth - 2M Views . 2.4K Reposts 578 Quotes
  • 08
    Matthew Zeitlin @MattZeitlin The last thing a Southern European finance minister sees before agreeing to reform his country's pension system in order to receive central bank financing James Marsh @James WillMarsh. 1d Has a man ever looked more ran through than Daniel Craig wearing these glasses Holly master to Seamaster ALT
  • 09
    Kyle @KylePlantEmoji · 20h Me: I'm sick can you take my shift? Coworker: sure thing me; thank you so much1 129 13.8K Kyle @KylePlantEmoji 51K ₁2.5M Everyone loves a fourth wall breaking joke about keyboards. Classic comedy 3:23 PM 11/23/23 from Earth. 287K Views
  • 10
    my life is a living hell. every... @on_da_spectrum yeah man, this picture definitely makes it look like your days of struggling with mental illness are behind you Zero @bryan johnson - 20h Death was my only wish for 10 years. Depression had me in an unbreakable choke hold. Giving thanks today that I now feel an insatiable thirst for life. Sending you all 2:36 PM 11/23/23 from Earth.3.4M Views S8 ROGUE OU es
  • 11
    Peter @peter adulthood is saying "after this week things will slow down a bit" over and over until you die. 3:03 PM 11/21/23 from Earth. 770K Views . 1.1K Reposts 133 Quotes
  • 12
    annie-mai @anniemaisocial "can you get this done by EOD?" me after already deciding my working day was over: 6:05 AM 11/21/23 from Earth 2.4M Views 4.6K Reposts 177 Quotes
  • 13
    McErin @colleen_eileen You hear a lot about golden retriever boyfriends but not girlfriends. I am one. Always excited to see you, motivated by treats and pets, constantly shedding. . 7:58 AM 11/21/23 from Earth - 62K Views . 176 Reposts 23 Quotes 1.8K Likes 64 Bookmarks
  • 14
    Jack Forge @TheJackForge BREAKING: OpenAl is rumored to be pursuing Nelson "Big Head" Bighetti to lead a new advanced Al research team. ALT OUB CUL 10:56 PM 11/20/23 from Earth. 2.3M Views . 2.3K Reposts 364 Quotes
  • 15
    trisha pan @trishaepan I can't believe that @Chase actually labeled this user-facing tab "Upsell" Upsell . CHASE Xx travelsecure.chase.com/results/flights/upsell?cid=43f7f + Upgrade your flight 12:37 AM 11/21/23 from Earth 619K Views 378 Reposts 78 Quotes .
  • 16
    Good Tweetman @Goodtweet_man And I would spill my blood to defend it SLOUS Rægenhere @realRaegenhere. 16h This is an actual monument in the USA The Quarter Pounder with Cheese calidum et deliciose succosum 11 m 6.1K Reposts 57 Quotes 11:58 AM - 11/20/23 from Earth 3.8M Views
  • 17
    Bojan Tunguz @tunguz Hogwarts 1996 rave. 5:43 PM 11/16/23 from Earth. 2.7M Views . mon 2K Reposts 257 Quotes
  • 18
    DJ Live Action Ratatouille @smilesguthrie Ok I'm really grateful to see people on Twitter defending my mom amidst a new era of McCarthyist blacklisting but can you PLEASE stop using the clip of her getting her hair done with her honkers out. 12:55 PM 11/22/23 from Earth. 2.1M Views 1.3K Reposts 640 Quotes
  • 19
    jesseira @jesseiraphi imagine being a chinese swiftie and wearing this T.S. 1989 2:20 AM 11/22/23 from Earth.600K Views 2.1K Reposts 207 Quotes
  • 20
    fiz z4 @cardiganfml "would it be enough if i could never give you peace?" "a peice of what?" POP CRAVE Crave @PopCrave 21h Travis Kelce reveals '1989' is his favorite Taylor Swift era in @WSJ interview: "Blank Space was one I wanted to hear live for sure. 'I could make a bad guy good for the weekend.' That's a helluva line... I've never been a man of words. Being around her, seeing how smart Taylor... Show more 12:09 AM 11/21/23 from Earth - 2.9M Views .
  • 21
    Scotty Holdridge @holdridge_scott I just blew up, blew UP thanksgiving with this statement. "I like Kelce as a rebound for her, but just don't see it long term" One niece is crying. Multiple " you Scotty" chaos. Nobody's talking and it's been an hour. 2:02 PM 11/23/23 from Earth 1.5M Views . 773 Reposts 54 Quotes .
  • 22
    kira 97 @kirawontmiss LMFAOOOO0 hit_stiq4 9h TEACHER CALL AND SUGGESTED MY SON BE PUT IN SPECIAL ED.. BUT I BEEN DOING HIS WORK 12:50 PM 11/22/23 3.6M Views x .
  • 23
    billy ragland. @Ragland1836 Black Friday this, Black Friday that. Listen, everything's free if you run fast enough. 11:03 AM - 11/24/23 from Earth. 1.8K Views . 6 Reposts 83 Likes
  • 24
    F JRR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh psa: don't ruin the thanksgiving meal by bringing up politics. ruin the meal by telling your family you don't know half of them half as well as you should like and like less than half of them half as well as they deserve then vanishing while they try to figure out what you meant 12:44 PM 11/23/23 109K Views 690 Reposts 15 Quotes
  • 25
    juju š → @ayeejuju would've turned her into moaning lisa Clint @clintbabyy 3h here's what "modern mona lisa" looks like according to A.I. .
  • 26
    Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy I'm not petty, but when someone is tailgating me I spray my windshield washer fluid and the payoff is seeing them turning on their wipers. 10:43 AM 11/24/23 from Earth - 21K Views . 44 Reposts 2 Quotes 685 Likes 3 Bookmarks
  • 27
    michael @Filled withUrine bro can you get online and react to the cat video i sent you saying "us" so i can send you another one i just found please 12:05 PM 11/24/23 from Earth • 1M Views 4.3K Reposts 258 Quotes
  • 28
    bailey moon @Baileymoon15 last night i drunkenly sent this to a coworker group chat and everyone ignored it 11:16 AM - 11/24/23 from Earth. 1.6M Views 1.4K Reposts 122 Quotes
  • 29
    gaut @Oxgaut Decided l'd take advantage of Black Friday and get 20% off my latte while financing it for the next 4 months with 0% interest I love capitalism < Orders Starbucks Oat Latte Black Friday (20% off) $7.00 $5.60 Paid of 4 payments $0.00 Payment schedule . Dec 24 2023 1 of 4 Jan 24 2024 2 of 4 Feb 24 2024 3 of 4 March 24 2024 4 of 4 Remaining $5.60 . Pay in 4 $1.40 ✓ $1.40 ✓ 4:52 PM 11/24/23 from Earth 480K Views $1.40 ✓ $1.40 V
  • 30
    Ty Ngachira @anto_ty Thou art fast, thou art furious JOE X @gani_jonathan 11/13/23 Meet Vintage Diesel, the first black man to ride a bike. 2:13 AM 11/21/23 from Earth.4.7M Views 16K Reposts 158 Quotes
  • 31
    Melanie Dione @thegatesOfmel "Why is there so much sugar in everything?" I'M THAT GIRL @_Oh_Bee 3d What level of adulting have you reached?? 10:50 AM 11/21/23 from Earth 2.8M Views . 18K Reposts 715 Quotes .
  • 32
    Drebae @Drebae_ Normalize sending memes to stay in touch cuz i ain't got to say 9:18 PM 11/21/23 from Earth. 2.2M Views 9.8K Reposts 424 Quotes
  • 33
    This is a mathematics joke involving potatoes and calculus. (Circulating widely on the Web.) Me peeling My mum peeling potatoes potatoes kalhh from Pixabay Cliff Pickover @pickover n k=1 f(xk). Ax |ff . f(x) dx 7:41 PM 11/24/23 from Earth. 231K Views
  • 34
    Oxide_does @OxideDoes Skyrim type shelf CATHODE @cathode_g. 1d Another 4 kg of copper recovered and added to my ingot collection! 2:31 PM 11/24/23 3.6M Views 3.8K Reposts 15 Quotes P
  • 35
    xtina @xtina1229 Josh Dobbs sharing this on his Instagram story is hysterical joshdobbs 6m KC @KCinWrigley Josh Dobbs parents still wish he worked for NASA STEPHANIE & ROBERT DOBBS Joshua's parents @bestcelebrations SNF X
  • 36
    Jozu @JozuJoestar (learning about oj simpson for the first time) are you serious? jesus christ... 143 yards per game??? 4:15 PM - 11/19/23 from Earth. 1.9M Views 2.8K Reposts 121 Quotes
  • 37
    Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein Instagram ads: Here's the specific water bottle your were talking about yesterday and a sweater pre-selected in your favorite color Twitter ads: Here's 9000 Cheech & Chong gummies and a promoted post from user TrumpsAmericaa420 that just says "the Jews" 7:36 PM - 11/24/23 from Earth. 759K Views . 1.9K Reposts 62 Quotes
  • 38
    Haus of Decline @hausofdecline Biden: You tricked me! I didn't want to pardon you, man! Trump, dressed as big turkey: it's too late Sleepy Joe. You already made the deal! 11:12 AM - 11/23/23 2.1M Views . 5.5K Reposts 52 Quotes
  • 39
    zach reinert @zachreinert Elon has lost his wife, his kids, 40 billion dollars, and his space ship crashed. It's like a genre of country music that doesn't even exist yet 11:06 AM - 11/22/23 from Earth 152K Views 798 Reposts 34 Quotes 6K Likes 105 Bookmarks
  • 40
    Lucy Huber @clhubes Just walked into the kitchen and my 3yo was by himself cracking a bunch of eggs into a giant bowl. I was like "uhhh does dad know you're doing this?" And he goes "he asked me to" And my husband yelled from a few rooms over "yeah I asked him to!!!" 12:00 PM 11/23/23 from Earth 2.8M Views . 2.4K Reposts 107 Quotes
  • 41
    Bojan Tunguz @tunguz We need to get our priorities straight. From Saving Private Ryan to Interstellar to The Martian, America has spent a ridiculous amount of money to retrieve Matt Damon EM NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD.COM 4:45 PM 11/24/23 667K Views . 386 Reposts 43 Quotes
  • 42
    Slap @slvppy mfs be asking you where the hoes at like you suppose to pull this out 8:30 PM - 11/24/23 from Earth. 1.9M Views 3.4K Reposts 176 Quotes
  • 43
    zach silberberg @zachsilberberg vampire lore is so funny. what do you mean you need to be invited before going into someones home? like yeah man that's how it works for me too 3:55 PM 11/18/23 2M Views 8K Reposts 227 Quotes

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