Inconsiderate Family Asks Daughter-In-Law to Be Their Server for Christmas Dinner

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 9, 2023 7:00 PM EST

The holidays can be full of family tension. Christmas may revolve around good tidings and cheer, but there's often a little bit of dirt mixed in with the glitter. Personalities clash, decades-long grudges come to the fore, and of course, there's the specter of in-laws. Adding a new member to the family via marriage can be a huge blessing, but it can also bring out the worst in a family. If they're not immediately welcomed into the fold, then it can create deep, lasting wounds. I get that you don't choose who your kids marry, but the very least you can do is support them. 

Like in this astounding tale of a Redditor whose in-laws voted to exclude their new daughter-in-law in a cruel and unusual manner, and then tried to gaslight her into thinking it was normal. Read the outrageous story below. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Traveln Pookie • 16h AITA for expressing to my in-laws that I don't want to be their server for their family's Christmas dinner?
    via u/TravelnPookie
  • 02
    So, I'm a newlywed, and my in-laws are rolling into town for Christmas and staying my husband's and my new house. They mentioned wanting to dine out for Christmas dinner, but I offered to whip up a home-cooked feast instead. Unfortunately, they turned down the offer. Now, here's where it gets interesting. I am currently working as a server in our town after recently being laid off from my corporate job. Lucky for me, the restaurant is closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas.
    via u/TravelnPookie
  • 03
    Well, turns out my mother-in-law had other plans. She called up my workplace without speaking to me beforehand and asked for me to be their server for their entire Christmas dinner. I found out through my husband that I'd be playing the role of their server for their festive family celebration, and my Christmas "gift" would be a sweet tip and takeout from my restaurant. Seems a bit odd, especially since our restaurant isn't even open on Christmas Eve or Christmas and I'd be available to spend ti
    via u/TravelnPookie
  • 04
    I politely declined because, let's be real, being excluded from Christmas dinner while working as their server? That's a hard pass from me. Unfortunately, I was told that I was being dramatic and there's nothing weird about me being their server for their family's Christmas dinner. Thoughts, anyone?
    via u/TravelnPookie
  • 05
    fallingintopolkadots 16h Colo-rectal Surgeon [44] ● NTA. I that's insulting and spiteful AF. We don't want you to cook or be a participant in our Christmas celebration, but we'd love to come to your workplace and have you serve us, so technically you're there with us but you can't contribute to the conversation and are required to be polite because it's your job. And to say your gift is the tip and takeout?! What the ever loving kind of is that?! I'd tell your boss that you request to not serve
    via u/fallingintopolkadots
  • 06
    Traveln Pookie OP. 16h I felt like it was very offensive and couldn't really understand why they thought it was weird that I said no. If the roles were switched, my family would never do that to their child in law. I've served my husband, friends, and family in the past but not on a holiday where I was being isolated. I feel like I am being gaslit.
    via u/TravelnPookie
  • 07
    Vixtoria01 15h Partassipant [2] as They are gaslighting you. They went so far out of their way to put you in this God awful, weird spot. They turned down a HOME COOKED CHRISTMAS DINNER to do this. That's beyond weird, that's insane. Please do not entertain the idea that they're in anyway right. You're def NTA and honestly? Run from that family.
    via u/Vixtoria01
  • 08
    LunaMunaLagoona 14h. ● Where is the husband in all of this? Edit: I found out through my husband that I'd be playing the role of their server for their festive family celebration I'm sorry, what? And he didn't think to speak out against this?!
    via u/LunaMunaLagoona
  • 09
    StAlvis 16h His Holiness the [1371] ΝΤΑ I was told that I was being dramatic and there's nothing weird about me being their server for their family's Christmas dinner. IT'S WEIRD. Is there anything you're not telling us that makes this even worse, by any chance? Are you a different race from your in-laws, or something?
    via u/StAlvis
  • 10
    Traveln Pookie OP. 16h Honestly, they're all super rich, like millionaire status. I am also half Mexican and a quarter Native, but I am super fare skinned so not a different race. This depressed me by quite a bit tbf. Edited to be PC: Mexican roots on my father's side and one-quarter from Native American ancestry, which I share from both my mother and father's sides. Correction Again: Fair skinned
    via u/TravelnPookie
  • 11
    MagratCatFurniture. 16h Enthusiast [5] NTA. And unless your husband is insisting that the family dinner actually include you as an actual sit- down participant, you have more than just an in-law problem.
    via u/MagratCatFurniture
  • 12
    Traveln Pookie OP. 15h "you have more than just an in-law problem." I read that before posting, looks like it's time for a sit-down discussion with him.
    via u/TravelnPookie
  • 13
    claybonsai 15h Please do. This may not seem like a hill to die on, but this was a terrible way to treat you. You deserve to have your partner who stand by you, defends you, stands up for you and never lets family bully you. I wish you the best, please keep us updated. I hope things work out.
    via u/claybonsai
  • 14
    MiskatonicUAlum. 16h Certified Proctologist [24] INFO: Your husband told his parents (and anyone else who agreed to this nonsense) not to ever disrespect his wife in that way again, correct? He in fact said that until they apologize to you for even suggesting this, that you two would not be celebrating the holiday with them at all, correct? If he didn't, I'd be hiring myself a divorce attorney for Christmas. There's missteps as newlyweds navigate in-law situations and then there's this, which is
    via u/MiskatonicUAlum
  • 15
    Particular_Title42 • 16h Pooperintendant [69] Umm...what? They're doing Christmas dinner on 12/23 in order for you to serve them (as well as whoever else is on your shift) their dinner? And that is the whole Christmas dinner. You get leftovers. There's nothing weird about YOU being THEIR server for THEIR Christmas dinner but that better not be YOUR Christmas dinner, kwim? What's wrong here is that they don't care to celebrate Christmas with you. NTA. I predict you'll be sick that day and won't b
    via u/Particular_Title42
  • 16
    Pretty Little_Mind 15h Red flag. The fact that you aren't furious... This is a very obvious slight. You're a grown adult who's using this as your side hustle until you get a main gig again. "Oh, nevermind your feelings! Nevermind it's your workplace and we've rejected your food! Nevermind that it's your first Christmas with my son - oops, I mean your husband! You, little servant girl, I'm going to show you who holds power in this family. You're going to serve me food and then I'm going to tip yo
    via u/Pretty_Little_Mind
  • 17
    PurpleStar1965 - 15h Partassipant [2] Oh honey. They have shown their true feelings about you. You are the help. You are not good enough to share a meal with. They want to humiliate you and put you in your place. If your husband did not immediately express outrage and distress at their suggestion then you also have a huge husband problem. Do not serve these people in the restaurant, in your home, anywhere. You say they are staying with you? If they want a glass of water they need to get it for t
    via u/PurpleStar1965
  • 18
    15h THIS. I'm already holding out hope that she packs a bag and bails on the whole visit, going to stay with a friend or at a hotel while declining all calls, stuffing her face with room service and draining the mini bar. Dear dear OP-you are worth so much more than the these people are throwing at you. Sending you positive vibes Agitated-Mulberry769.
    via u/Agitated-Mulberry769
  • 19
    Proflake1 16h Partassipant [1] NTA, your in-laws are though ●
    via u/Proflake1
  • 20
    TravelnPookie OP. 15h I thought their request was out of touch imho. I thought to myself, am I not a part of the family?
    via u/TravelnPookie

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christmas family drama aita marriage holiday season reddit story am i the asshole marriage-drama in laws mother in law family reddit thread Reddit discourse holidays
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