'The young and the rizzless': Older generations question why Gen-Z seems to date less than their parents

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 19, 2023 6:00 PM EST

The differences between Gen-Z and the rest of the world are well documented. Everyone knows we're addicted to TikTok, call everyone "bestie" and love to call millennials cringe. But what are the less obvious traits of the generation? If you have a young person in your life, you might be baffled by some of their habits. Every generation has its quirks, cultural touchstones, and patterns of behavior. We're made by our circumstances, so when the world changes, so do we. Sometimes in unpredictable ways. 

A recent Reddit post sparked a conversation about Gen-Z's dating habits or seemingly lack thereof. It's a complicated issue, and no generation is a monolith, but it got an interesting discussion going about how we socialize in a post-pandemic world, and what the internet might be doing to our social lives. Are Zoomers really destined to be forever alone, or are we just doing things a little differently?

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  • 01
    r/NoStupidQuestions u/PluckPubes. 1d Join My 20 year old son doesn't date. His friends don't date. My friends kids don't date. What is going on?
    via u/PluckPubes
  • 02
    When I was in my late teens and early 20s, life for my friends and me revolved around meeting girls. My son and his friends, who are athletic and outgoing, don't seem to put a lot of emphasis on dating. They play a lot of online video games, and have boys outtings. Once in a while one will hook up with a random girl they met on an app. Rarely does one have a girlfriend. This seems to be the norm for my friends' kids too. What is going on?
    via u/PluckPubes
  • 03
    hop123hop223 . 1d I've been teaching high school for 2 decades. The number of kids dating is very low compared to 20 years ago. For the first 10 years or so, there would be students canoodling/making out in the hallways. I'm happy to report I don't have to see that anymore, haha. It's really unusual to even see high schoolers even holding hands. It takes a lot of effort to get kids to talk to each other in class. They walk in to the room from the passing period and continue to be on their phones
    via u/hop123hop223
  • 04
    Scoompii 14h ● that's depressing. I've been looking into ditching my smart phone. Get a dumb phone at least with text and navigation. Get an mp3 player & flashlight and I'm ready to raw dog life again baby.
    via u/Scoompii
  • 05
    Pavoazul 1d ● Can't speak for your son, but personally, I just have no game whatsoever.
    via u/Pavoazul
  • 06
    MutteringV. 1d the young and the rizzless
    via u/MutteringV
  • 07
    Pavoazul. 1d It's actually gotten to the point where my family asks "When are you gonna bring a girlfriend... or boyfriend home?"
    via u/Pavoazul
  • 08
    AcedtheTuring Test • 1d I was in my early 30s and my folks pulled me aside, threw up their hands and down in exhausted frustration and dad just stammered, "You need... you need a companion." When singleness causes an intervention. no
    via u/AcedtheTuringTest
  • 09
    ScruffyNuisance . 1d This is just my theory, but it seems to me that the internet has provided so much access to a diverse range of content and interests that common ground is harder to find. When I was younger, we all watched the same tv shows and played the same games. Now there are tens of thousands of content creators, shows, games, and subcultures available to us that even if you meet someone who likes the same things as you in general, the chances of you sharing much common ground are slim
    via u/ScruffyNuisance
  • 10
    I remember a time when playing games was something you could bond over, and the chances of overlap in games you'd played was high. Nowadays even if you both game, the chances are that one of you plays 5 different first person shooters while the other only plays farming sims. Maybe you both watch anime? Back in the 90s/2000s this basically meant watching Dragon Ball Z and Avatar TLA, or maybe Naruto. But now there's a good chance one of you only watches Shonen anime discussed by a particular YouT
    via u/ScruffyNuisance
  • 11
    simcity 4000 • 1d The death of inexpensive third spaces for people to just "hang out". The increasing online nature of relationships. A Global pandemic exacerbating both.
    via u/simcity4000
  • 12
    rnd765 • 1d There was a good Ted talk on the third spaces theory. And yes I strongly agree with this. Where can people just loiter and hang out without having to spend money these days?
    via u/rnd765
  • 13
    Im_Balto 1d ● Even still. I'm fine with spending 8 bucks to patronize a small shop that I can sit in and talk to people but there's no community in these shops because you have to get in a car and go on a massive road. You can't just walk out of your house and down the street to the local shop and gossip about the dog. issue in the neighborhood
    via u/Im_Balto
  • 14
    Night Pearls 1d ● In past decades, there was an expectation to be married and start a family at young ages, such as early 20's. These days there's not that push anymore. People in their late teens/twenties much more focused on enjoying their youth (which, to some people does including dating, but to others, it does not) rather than trying to settle down as soon as possible.
    via u/NightPearls
  • 15
    Silent Joe1986 - 1d I personally hated dating. I loved when I found a relationship, but dating was the worst.
    via u/SilentJoe1986
  • 16
    sav-rose • 1d Every time you leave the house, you're probably spending $50-$100 if you go to another location. Doesn't matter what you're doing, you're gonna pay out the. Therefore, it's not really financially responsible to date when you're young.
    via u/sav-rose
  • 17
    hightreez. 1d It's funny how western parents want their kids to start dating when young, while asian and middle eastern parents want their kids to not date and focus on their education and career before any relationship/marriage It's interesting to observe the cultural differences
    via u/hightreez
  • 18
    No_Education_5140. 1d The dating culture has changed. They are happy to hang out with friends, and just chill.
    via u/No_Education_5140

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modern discourse millennials zoomer askreddit reddit story gen x generations gen z dating apps reddit thread online dating Reddit reddit discourse discourse dating
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