'A chef... called the grill "Hamburger Helpless"': 25+ Chefs and waiters who kept their back-of-house coworkers laughing

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Dec 22, 2023 3:00 PM EST

There's always at least one person in every workplace who can't help but make everyone laugh. This is the kind of person that people say "lights up every room they walk into." They just immediately begin cracking jokes and lightening the mood. This kind of person is especially appreciated in high-stress environments---like the back of house at a busy restaurant. Back-of-house, sometimes abbreviated as BOH, refers to all of the workers behind the scenes, like chefs, meal preppers, and dishwashers. The front-of-house staff, like waiters and the host or hostess, have their own stuff going on, mainly dealing with all those customers. In the BOH, chefs have to deal with each other, and all of those big personalities can make this an interesting environment to work in.

These people shared the funniest moments they can recall while cooking up burgers and chopping up veggies. When you're around the same people for 12 hours straight, all yelling in each other's ears and commenting on each other's dishes, you can't help but form some friendships. 

Check out these great stories below. Then, this parent wanted construction workers to work around her and her car. 

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  • 01
    PHA FOR
    via Daniel Nijland on Unsplash
  • 02
    Funniest thing you have heard someone say in a kitchen? I'll start. I was prepping in a Vietnamese spot when one of the cooks just asked aloud to the sky: "Oh god, whyyyy did you make me poor and handsome, instead of rich and ugly?" I think about at least once a day and laugh.
    via u/chef-hoot
  • 03
    Bread_Conquer Saying "thank you" when someone says "hot behind" never gets old.
    via u/Bread_Conquer
  • 04
    DuxDucis52 During the rush on a Saturday night everyone was in the weeds and ticket callbacks we're getting sloppy. The chef at expo was talking about FOH and said the phrase "those people" and everyone on the line simultaneously gave the offended "Ooooooh". The chef rebutted," Oh so you guys can hear that but not the tickets".
    via u/DuxDucis52
  • 05
    inifinite_stick A chef i had called the grill "Hamburger helpless" when they were going down once. It was hard not to laugh.
    via u/inifinite_stick
  • 06
    ✪ [deleted] When i was a dishie, head chef used to call me "boss". Nickname/joke spread to everyone else in the kitchen. One day we had someone from higher up on the corporate ladder for our franchise in, and i heard them asking "Why is the pimply teenager washing dishes in charge?" Was funny to me, atleast.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 07
    sssssssbadidea My Sous Chef told me today, that when he and his wife are fighting, she starts deflecting everything he says by yelling "YES CHEF, SORRY CHEF. 30 SECONDS CHEF".
    via u/sssssssbadidea
  • 08
    doradedboi "I don't like spinach, it's like eating leaves." Yeah, I mean, I guess it is...
    via u/doradedboi
  • 09
    InterBeard There was a talented chef from India in our kitchen who thought saying "corner" was the dumbest thing ever. Not sure he understood the concept. It was like pulling teeth to get him to start saying but once he started saying it he never stopped. Often times would not be at a corner. Like he literally would just be standing there chopping vegetables and would say "Corner" Outstanding malicious compliance.
    via u/InterBeard
  • 10
    lydbyd "Well at least it's already noon." looks down at watch It was 10:30am
    via u/lydbyd
  • 11
    I_deleted Old German chef used to mix up expressions all the time. The best one was when he said, "you don't wanna be there when the hits the fan."
    via u/I_deleted
  • 12
    KDLK1992 Cook wearing a bandanna around his neck and an old style cap that's a bit poofy. "Hey man, how long have you been cooking for Dexy's Midnight Runners?"
    via u/KDLK1992
  • 13
    $18 Kyclear Can remember the exact quote but: One of our newer cooks, younger kid maybe 19, thought a "wet t-shirt contest" was a contest to see who was the sweatiest after a busy service.
    via u/Kyclear
  • 14
    fromtheinside15 One time we had this dude who was kinda slow socially, but he was a pretty solid line cook, and he was great on pans. So the one night, it's your standard busy weekend dinner shift. I'm working grill beside this guy, but I hear a server come back and say "compliments on the Pad Thai kitchen". My boss hears that and turns to Alex, the pan guy and says "well done on that Pad Thai Alex!"
    via u/fromtheinside15
  • 15
    Like 10 minutes later Alex plates this random Pad Thai that looks really rough and overcooked. My boss goes "Alex... what the is this??" Alex says "you said you wanted a well done Pad Thai". died. This will never I not make me laugh.
    via u/fromtheinside15
  • 16
    jeanielolz I worked with some refugees from Laos. One of the new girls asked one of the Laotian men, "how did you get here? On a boat?" While she imitated a boat with her hands, "or did you fly?" Flapping her hands and arms like a bird. He imitated her flapping, and said "No fly" then held his arms out straight and said "airplane". He knew English much better than she assumed... And humor!
    via u/jeanielolz
  • 17
    Master_Brilliant_220 Hand to Christ, "Aluminum foil's not metal, stupid!"
    via u/Master_Brilliant_220
  • 18
    Achef13 Prep cook came out of the walk-in with a concerned look on face and carrying a wheel of Gorgonzola. "Hey, chef....the blue cheese is kind of moldy." The whole line lost their .…..... All I could do was just palm face and say "it's supposed to moldy Jeremy...it's supposed to be.
    via u/Achef13
  • 19
    + [deleted] Calling the cauliflower crusts DJ Cauli and whenever someone asks for one you say "just the one or do you need... anotha one."
    via u/ [deleted]
  • 20
    Think-Repeat630 I once walked downstairs to see the executive chef slapping a raw piece of meat, for sausage making, on the counter chanting "you can't stop me I'm the boss" over and over.
    via u/Think-Repeat630
  • 21
    crwlngkngsnk "Are mermaids real?" From an adult. A young and incredibly stupid adult.
    via u/crwlngkngsnk
  • 22
    thisisntmynametoday Had a recent high school graduate turned dishwasher ask me if we got Saturday off because it was a national holiday. That particular Saturday was Halloween.
    via u/thisisntmynametoday
  • 23
    Thomas730 We were getting hit with a bunch of tickets all at once and one of the line chefs said I, heard" "get
    via u/Thomas730
  • 24
    m Ye M Ahkhira (Loud enough to be heard through closed kitchen door into the bar area in FOH) "Behind! Behind! Hot! Beh... Enjoy your hot behind.... REFIRE TWO FAJITA SKILLETS NOW!!!!" Followed by: "I you, onion Line cook was forever known as "onion after that one. "I
    via u/Ahkhira
  • 25
    naardvark Haitian dishwasher Robert, no English. He said 2 hilarious things. 1. He actually thought "Happy Birthday" meant hello, so we all said hello to him by saying Happy Birthday. 2. A couple of us said "in and around" when crossing an awful intersection in the kitchen. Robert said "nah-nah-nah-now" in the perfect cadence.
    via u/naardvark
  • 26
    itsallgoodb Was washing dishes (teenage girl at the time) and an older male coworker behind me says "behind you with a knife." I told him "I think this is the only context you could say that to me where I wouldn't panic."
    via u/itsallgoodb
  • 27
    austiwald Right before Saturday service Chef: "Everyone taste your stations!" John in dish: "Mmmm dish water!"
    via u/austiwald
  • 28
    Pinky_theLegend Had a new dishie at an old job who asked a lot of really dumb questions. Our line lead told him "God is testing me with your presence and I didn't study". I just about I my pants.
    via u/Pinky_theLegend
  • 29
    mrssmokedgoose 'I might not be smart but, at least I'm ugly'
    via u/mrssmokedgoose
  • 30
    69nepmac69 One of our dishies had recently been promoted to cold prep. He was a quick learner, hard worker, but fairly inexperienced. A few days into his training, it was time to teach him how to peel and devein shrimp. I brought the lexan full of shrimp to his prep station. His eyes got big and he started to stammer. I realized something was wrong. Asked if he was allergic... no response...
    via u/69nepmac69
  • 31
    slightly worried, I asked "what's up man...?" After a brief pause, he nearly shrieked, with great horror and disgust, "Shrimps is bugs, yo!" His entire life, he'd thought shrimp were just tiny fish. You know, kinda shrimpy! Where ever you are these days Ashley, I wish you the best and hope you're well!
    via u/69nepmac69
  • 32
    lunaburning It was the middle of a nightmare shift. New management, mostly new and inexperienced staff, packed house and nothing was going right. Tickets were taking an hour to leave the kitchen and it just wasn't stopping. All of the sudden, the power went out. There was a moment of stunned silence and we hear from our broiler cook, "Ah, . I think I just sold my soul to the devil."
    via u/lunaburning
  • 33
    ShinobiFox "Chef, what do you want me to do with this potato-dill dough?"
    via u/ShinobiFox
  • 34
    FatherQuail Old man once said "let me show you a little trick I learned in Vietnam" followed by an entire stock pot of vodka sauce being dumped on the floor
    via u/FatherQuail
  • 35
    Chef_GonZo "We don't sell food sent back from patio because an acorn fell in thier food outside Acorns"~
    via u/Chef_GonZo
  • 36
    Leviathan1337 I enjoyed sending noobs to get some right-handed gloves.
    via u/Leviathan1337
  • 37
    Podyceck Training a newbie. "Grab me a red onion" "All I could find was purple onions! Is that okay?"
    via u/Podyceck
  • 38
    TaxMansMom Fry cook folding and stacking to go boxes, making a castle. When asked why, he said to keep the dragons away. There weren't any dragons so I guess it worked. Same guy used to come in periodically wearing glasses frames. No lenses, just frames, with the sole intention of with the hostesses. He made work fun.
    via u/TaxMansMom
  • 39
    ruggles_bottombush "We're all just livin' in Clown Town and I am it's Muscular Mayor."
    via u/ruggles_bottombush
  • 40
    rognabologna My Ecuadorian fry cook, who barely spoke English, calling the meal orders for FOH staff J Rascal Snacks" after I tried to explain to him what 'rascal' meant one day.
    via u/rognabologna
  • 41
    SiegelOverBay During prep one day, one of the other cooks suddenly burst out with "Guys, I got a great idea for a movie: imagine a world where all food is gray, overcooked, devoid of salt or flavor - like a food dystopia!" I said "Dude, they already made that, it's called Britain." The owner was British. The joke was well appreciated. One of my proudest moments.
    via u/SiegelOverBay
  • 42
    nickpawlik Worked at my friend's Italian resteraunt. There's staff that has been there for years. One comes to the back in the middle of a rush about 15 minutes after putting in an order to tell us it's a celiac order, it's already cooked and up in the window. Guy cooking tells her he'll just put it in the "gluten extractor". She thought we honestly had a gluten extractor
    via u/nickpawlik
  • 43
    Lostintheworl My favorite prep cook Felix didn't speak a lot of English so when he was trying to find the word "sh tzu" he just saying "I want the ! The dog!"
    via u/Lostintheworl
  • 44
    Rookie007 My favorite was at the end of today. "Ok i dont wanna see any of you Till monday bye"
    via u/Rookie007
  • 45
    chef-hoot OP Glad this post has gotten so much traction, thanks all. Here's another: I was adjusting the heat on a problematic induction burner one day when one of the cooks looked over and said "oh yeah that burner is like me...the worst."
    via u/chef-hoot
  • 46
    bigredplastictuba My sous dropped a shrimp on the ground and perturbed for a second he was still gonna use it and said in a very chipper slovenian accent "no, but it's still OK, it's the chicken of the floor "
    via u/bigredplastictuba
  • 47
    Background-Interview The new girl to the cook under house arrest: "Man, you need to get out more!" right after he told her (and she forgot) that he isn't allowed anywhere except work and Walmart.
    via u/Background-Interview
  • 48
    psionic1 We had a young lady who was not the brightest. We are all hanging out in the kitchen when everyones phone gets an amber alert. She burst into tears and ran off saying she really need to call her friend, Amber.
    via u/psionic1
  • 49
    Kylemacksc Another cook and I were laughing and having a good time while getting crushed during a brunch. We kept quoting Forrest Gump all service for some reason and our hungover sous chef had enough. He yelled from the prep table "Guys, stfu with the Forrest Gump." My buddy immediately replies "Yes sir, drill sergeant!!" I don't think he got the joke...
    via u/Kylemacksc

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