'I was smiling/laughing too much': Dude decides it's time to update his resume when boss calls him in for a 1:1 just for smiling

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    Posted by u/mortusowo 13 hours ago My boss gave me feedback that I was ş smiling/laughing too much. I'm looking for a new job.
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    This is moreso the straw that broke the camel's back I think. I'm a very emotive person, and because of anxiety issues I tend to smile and laugh a lot, even when there's not much going
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    on. I work remote but we all have to have our cameras on. I always mute myself as is proper unless. I'm speaking.
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    I was having a 1:1 with my boss and mentioned that in a call I had trouble getting a word in. I had my hand physically raised and virtually raised for probably more than 10 minutes. I asked for feedback and was told I
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    hesitated too much which is fair. But then that I smile and laugh too much and it seems like I'm having side conversations and me doing so was disrespectful. I wasn't having any side
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    conversations in this meeting to be clear, though, frankly if I am it's typically answering to an urgent work related message.
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    I thought about ways I could fix this problem, but honestly I'm stuck. I engage in meetings quite regularly and am often the note-taker. There's nothing to suggest I'm not
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    listening nor is my performance impacted as I'm a high performer on the team. I tried to clarify later and explained he was assuming a lot based on my facial expressions.
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    He acknowledged he was making an assumption but kept with it. I probably will attempt to correct my facial expressions regardless but I know this is going to make me more anxious and be less willing
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    to engage. There are many other factors at play, but I am already getting my resume updated.
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    Three-Olives 12 hr. ago ● Say nothing, then when 'nothing' is criticized m, remind them that you were similarly criticized for being joyful. Also have a new employer.
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    mortusowo OP. 12 hr. ago Yeah I don't think there's a win condition here. The only thing I could come up with is using a fidget or
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    something to calm my nerves more so I smile less. Arguably using a fidget on camera would be more disruptive.
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    Three-Olives. 12 hr. ago My rule: be yourself. Be professional, but smiles and laughter are not unprofessional.
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    FunNarwhal7440 59 min. ago ● There is nothing with smiling. what they say. You don't need to fix yourself, you've done nothing wrong at all, and certainly not even exibiting a behavior that is causing any detriment or
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    disruption to others. Even if the reasons for your smiling are not because you are happy or joyful, it doesn't matter. Interpreting that and finding offense over it is just....entitled and bitter and petty.
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    mortusowo OP. 12 hr. ago Yeah I already started updating my LinkedIn and resume. We're a small team of 5 under my boss. 3 of us are actively searching. 1 is clearly struggling. The only
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    guy who is relatively happy is the guy who just joined. I think the fact that more than half are ready to go signals an issue.
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    mortusowo OP. 2 hr. ago I don't know if this would help. Recently we had an "anomymous" feedback survey where people gave feedback and we voted on responses. Number 17 and 20 our of
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    40 something were about our team not being effective and calling out management specifically. My boss got promoted the week after those results were made public to the company.

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