The Cringiest Parenting Texts of the Week (January 2, 2024)

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 2, 2024 12:00 PM EST

Happy New Year! 2024 is upon us, and it's prime time for setting goals that you will surely hold yourself to in the coming year. For some of you, that might mean limiting contact with your family. For others, it could mean finally going to therapy to learn how to hold your own in a contentious conversation with your mom. If things are going badly enough, you might finally choose to go entirely no-contact with certain family members. I support whatever you need to do to help yourself be happier and more at peace going into 2024. 

While those goals might be what you're aiming toward, they aren't always easy. Some people kick and scream at the mere notion that they might have treated their family members badly enough for them to want to limit contact. If you're interested in seeing some of that kicking and screaming for your entertainment, these parenting texts might be a little bit relatable. 

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  • 01
    No_Survey_9833 10h Am I overreacting? SMS : ...
    via u/No_Survey_9833
  • 02
    + Today 7:15 PM I'm fully grown now and it weirds me out when u out of nowhere try to kiss me or hug me I was not used to that growing up and it makes me uncomfortable pls respect my boundaries I'm not yo BF knock it off U tell a dude u dating that and I did it plenty of times u growing up even read to u so stop it iMessage Delivered
    via u/No_Survey_9833
  • 03
    64 8:12 I'll talk not now M Mom > Okay relax He's just showing love : 36 0 Yea I'm not a kid anymore I'm a grown woman No it's not Omg
    via u/No_Survey_9833
  • 04
    Long story short, had to move back home and my dad has never been a affectionate father i can count on my fingers how many times i have gotten hugs from him and was very emotionally abusive to me growing up also. As soon as i got back he started hugging me and planting kisses on my cheek and neck and i'll move away and tell him it weirds me out i always receive blacklash from my mother and other relatives that im being mean and hes trying to rebuild a relationship with me but i think there's oth
    via u/No_Survey_9833
  • 05
    LucyTheUSB 9h My mother's insane ramblings SMS ...
    via u/LucyTheUSB
  • 06
    Mother Gothel > Thursday 10:16 PM I saw the photo on fb, your looking chubby, I thought you were losing weight? This is why I don't talk to you, keep this up and I'll block you on fb too. Well hon I'm your mom and I can be concerned about your health especially our family has a history of HB pressure. I'm sorry that I'm such a terrible mother for worrying about your weight Today 9:25 PM Happy New Year darling sorry I forgot your Christmas present, would you like me to get that watch in your wish
    via u/LucyTheUSB
  • 07
    Mother Gothel> Oh pls so now I'm horrible again because I offer to help you. I seriously don't know how you turned so bitter. All I ever did was provide for you and guide you. You don't want the watch fine. I don't like being made to feel bad for being nice. This is what I get for trying to be a good mother. I'm sorry I ruined you by spoiling you, I should of been harder on you, this is what happens when you luv your kids too much And you never show me my grandson, why? To punish me? What did I
    via u/LucyTheUSB
  • 08
    She's still typing. Also, she was extremely hard on me as a kid. My constant memory of my mother was yelling at me everyday for hours on end because according to her, she needed to let the steam out and if she didn't get to yell at me she would for sure have a stroke. Also according to her, she's the greatest mother on earth and doesn't remember all the yelling, curse words, and insults hurled at me as a child.
    via u/LucyTheUSB
  • 09
    Still_Quiet_8799 13h Am i just being dramatic? SMS : ...
    via u/Still_Quiet_8799
  • 10
    2 M Mother > hopefully there will be a new YOU, because this version is old and annoying to deal with... + happy new years mom. but happy new years to you as well. now if i say that was rude you will make a big deal out of it. That was very unprovoked. grow up and take a joke, not everything should be taken personal. this is what i mean by new you.. Text Message
    via u/Still_Quiet_8799
  • 11
    reddituser333999 2d Mom's reaction to me hosting christmas dinner Email
    via u/reddituser333999
  • 12
    ← Hello First: Thanks for the gifts and 0 Thank you for the nice dinner!! il Then: I know you usually have a short attention span to what I say but, in this case, you must read this, please. It's well intended. I know I've said it before but it didn't stick with you. It appears that you would rather listen to others or to yourself rather than your mom, who had hosted for decades. If you decide to host a Christmas dinner or such an important holiday meal dinner, you know that you must work hard,
    via u/reddituser333999
  • 13
    ← ] [] i | : Here are some simple etiquette rules for a host that will help ensure a fun, successful party! When making a plan of what to serve, you buy and/or cook what your guests would like (first), and then what you like You need to have at least 2 appetizers and Never serve them in their store bought container Add a few type of snacks, crackers, cheese cuts, olives, dry fruits, again, on your china plate, nicely displayed; again: never in their store bought box Main dish Must include 2 type
    via u/reddituser333999
  • 14
    ← ] [] i Main dish Must include 2 types of meat since not everyone might like the kind you like, maybe chicken and sausage, or fish or such (we loved your chicken, by the way) Main dish Must be served with at least one side dish, and you Must give people options: mashed potatoes, veggies, etc. Drinks: you must have all options: vodka, cognac, beer, mineral water, pepsi, sprite, wine: a few kinds, dry, sweet, etc. All. Again, not what you like or what you think it's healthy, but everything - peop
    via u/reddituser333999
  • 15
    ← 0 i7 At least one host should Not drink alcohol so they can warm up, serve, clean, attend to guests, the meals, etc. you can imagine a drunk or dizzy host trying to do all of the above........all drinking on empty stomach..ughhh.. The food to be warmed up should be in the oven when first guest comes in to the door, then ready in 30-40min. served hot. If you feel that you don't have the time and experience for this, then you just go ahead and buy the food, as suggested above, including everythi
    via u/reddituser333999
  • 16
    K 0 On a more personalized Note: i ●●● Your dinner was nice, beautiful table display, good chicken and salad; I would have added a few options as said above and less sweets. I feel lik derstood that we, your dad and I "like sweets" so the cookies selection was great and we got many types of chocolates from S (thanks!). The wine glasses look nice, but they're very light, ready to flip over a couple of times. You took from me the expensive crystal glasses from those are expensive, appropriate, fan
    via u/reddituser333999
  • 17
    ← ] [] i | : On another note, try Not to Drink when having dinner with parents. I can tell you from hearing my colleagues and friends with sons and their girlfriends, None, I mean absolutely none like to see the girls drink; at all. Of course, you'll like to brush it off again. But I'm right and I don't lie. You can always drink as much as you want afterwards if you really have the urge. But try not to finish your glass when in their presence, even if they show that it's ok. I can't even emphasi
    via u/reddituser333999
  • 18
    ← 0 arvuru те, патот, а how it is.). My dear, my love, don't take this as a lecture, you're old enough to understand now that I love you too much and I want that everything you do to be perfect and you to have success in life, on every field: starting with your personal life, your job, your career, your friends, your parties, your everything. I wouldn't be a good mom if I don't say it. You're the center of our lives. And that's it supposed to be. If, not, then something is wrong... And please do
    via u/reddituser333999
  • 19
    ← 0 and sincere advice. All my life I've been trying to get better. Also, I'm getting older so maybe I deserve some pushing or pulling sometimes. And I don't mind you watching My activity, online or otherwise, as long as we all stay safe. Also, Please let me know if I embarrass you in any way, that's the last think I want to do or to be... Just FYI: I used to be as dismissive as you are, for about two months, before I got married so like when I was And Never : since. I feel bad for all the disre
    via u/reddituser333999
  • 20
    kid-cop 2d The chain of drunk texts that made me go no contact SMS ...
    via u/kid-cop
  • 21
    (+) I am broke. I have been paying for your cell phones for years. About $250 a month. $3000 a year. Please stop killing me. Christmas sucked because I am am broke. I'm going to cancel your cells tomorrow I did what I could I have broken ribs. I can't sleep and am in constant pain. Your text to me hurt deeply. I didn't eat for three days. Stayed in bed and was completely depressed You all promised to help me with your trust funds and none of you did. I feel used. Dad I spent my last $120 on the
    via u/kid-cop
  • 22
    11:02 G Qll 82% ur trust funds and none of Dad I spent my last $120 on the Thai dinner. On my last remaining credit card. I spent no money the next four day till today when I got my paycheck. You guys have no idea the complete and total sacrifice I have and continue to make. It would be nice that one 0 : day I could get a thank you or just a stop bleeding my dry. Hey. Wanna take my car. Sure. I feel abused by my trust fund kids again and again. It's depressing. Like lay in bed. for days depressi
    via u/kid-cop
  • 23
    + again. It's by in bed : days depression. Really stop having me pay any of your bills. Th idea you would cut any of your inheritance was a joke. I got screeed by your mom and am now getting screwed by my own kids. Dad Here is a fun fact. Your brother while driving to work was shot at with a gun. The guy missed. He crashed his moped. Yes a gun. Made me think about the important things. I've been sick and crying at the thought he'd be dead. He's up I'm going there tomorrow. Dad I am sorry if this
    via u/kid-cop
  • 24
    My dad's been emotionally distant, an active alcoholic, and manipulative as for as long as I've known him, but especially so after my mom died. He opted out of the last two Christmases. After my older brother voiced his disappointment over my dad's blatant lack-of-effort re:Christmas, he sent this. Yes, he used my brother's almost getting shot as pity fodder. For context on the money: my dad makes six figures working for the government and I pay for my own phone, so i don't know how I'm "killing
    via u/kid-cop
  • 25
    FeltBuns 4d ● I'm a 30 y/o woman, clean record. Going to a friend's family NYE party with my baby and husband. SMS
    via u/FeltBuns
  • 26
    1 Are you guys spending the night at friend's I am worried about you coming home late with all the drunk drivers out. The police are going to be out in force but they cannot catch all of them мом Today 1:33 PM O Well. To ease my mind please text me when you get home. And please do iMessage A A I am sorry you feel worried! We will be okay! love you Cash No O Edited
    via u/FeltBuns
  • 27
    1 Well. To ease my mind please text me when you get home. And please do not smoke pot around my baby MOM Sorry you feel that way But brain damage is permanent Look at 4. I will if I remember and yes I promise I am a good parent. That's kind of offensive you think I would do that. A iMessage 31 Cash Luncu I don't do drugs near by baby. Never have, never will. Does she seem brain damaged to you? my brother
    via u/FeltBuns
  • 28
    water_polo_whore • 5d I don't know if y'all remember my last post, but my homophobic mother has struck again SMS
    via u/water_polo_whore
  • 29
    5 Mom > Thot u were old enough to stand ur ground! It separates ur father and I Thank you + M It's not me that separates you two. It's your attitude and the things you decide are correct. You want me to stand my ground? Fine. I've tried to be nice and respectful and keep the peace, but here it is. You've been nothing but rude to behind her back since we first started dating. I understand that you don't "agree" with the "choices" I've made in life, but you're going to have to deal with them. She'
    via u/water_polo_whore
  • 30
    5 + M Mom Dad has been nothing but supportive to me, congratulated me/us on the engagement, is kind to You on the other hand, never even replied to my message when I told you about the engagement and didn't talk to me for a month. I can't do this anymore. If you can't continually be nice to me and you aren't going to be involved in my life. And you especially aren't going to come to my wedding. Didn't plan on attending anyway!!! iMessage ( Delivered
    via u/water_polo_whore

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cringey crazy things parents say cringe texts parenting cringe pics dad texting parent cringeworthy mom Parenting Fail parents drunk texting Parenting FAILS
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