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The Cringiest Parenting Texts of the Week (September 5, 2023)

Every mom, dad, and batty old grandparent has a little crazy in 'em, but these parents are next-level unhinged. As always, we've rounded up all the cringiest text message screenshots of parental figures being absolutely bananas. For those who grew up in a dysfunctional family—these receipts might be painfully relatable, but take solace in the fact that you're not alone. Some of us weren't blessed with normal, rational guardians, and that's okay. Here are some of this week's most infuriating, cringy, and eye-roll worthy text exchanges between parents from hell and their offspring.

Posted by Mel Dawn
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  • “Maternal grandfather who only speaks to me once a year, on my birthday.” Posted by u/Laughing_Jackal

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  • 1
    Font - 8:13 all 93% отв You too! Thursday 4:10 PM Have not received a thank you for the $50 but am assuming you got it. Text message Thursday 5:27 PM Yeah I got it. Venmo never gives me notifications on my phone but thanks. FYI Venmo does notify you when you receive funds. So don't bullshit me anymore. 5:31 PM < 0

    u/Laughing_Jackal added: "For context, he sent me some birthday money a couple of days late (I don't care about that at all, I only mention this as it's why I wasn't just checking my Venmo randomly) and he decided this was an appropriate response to me not immediately thanking him. Apparently he has no concept of turning notifications off for all apps besides texts and phone calls."

    Via u/Laughing_Jackal

  • “My mom thought I stole from my Grandpa” Posted by u/peepeepoopoopee6969

  • 2
    Font - 9:15 8 Call me Hurry up I will send this to me M I'm waiting I know you're not driving prove to me that you paid us with the money your grandfather gave you This Madre > You better answer me I'm gonna take this baby and I'm gonna go check into a hotel and I'm not gonna answer your messages A A Today 12:08 PM *Pay to if you push We are no longer at the house give me the proof what that money went for And you can be charged for kidnapping. So don't even try. I'm not even home and didn't tak
    Via u/peepeepoopoopee6969
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  • 3
    Font - 8 M Madre > I'll make sure the cops assist me when I come get her if you refuse to give her back. And you'll never get to have unsupervised visits with her EVER again. And I'll stand by that this time. So try me. I plan to try you Welcome to my world Maybe his parents can help you with your bills and show you how to pay them Because you don't get it You stole from my dad You should've received confirmation we paid it that's all you got to show me Hurry up I'll make sure the cops are calle
    Via u/peepeepoopoopee6969
  • 4
    Font - 9:16 1 8 tru have Whatever but I'm gonna talk to and tell him the Hello One more chance ? lol M You will never see her again Tell me the truth did you pay you Madre > It How does it feel to be lied to O yourself anymore. I'm coming to get her in the next 20 minutes. If you're not at the house with her I WILL be calling the cops. You're NOT going to use my daughter as any sort of bargaining tool. Why did you feel the need to lie A Pay iMessage Give me her social. Now. Read 2:56 PM E
    Via u/peepeepoopoopee6969

  • “I need a ride to uni and my mum has been aware that I've been looking for a way to get there. For context my ‘dad’s ex' is my aunts best friend of 25 years who dated my dad before I was born.” Posted by u/bugsrlit

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  • 5
    Purple - 22:41 mum Hi, how are you? Have you decided who's taking you to uni yet? yea 22:33 said she would take me 22:37 </ and im ok, how r u? XX 22:37 You yea dee said she would take me You taking the piss? Your dads ex girlfriend?! aunts well shes friend 22:39 22:38 Clearly more important than your own parents 22:39 : mum. do you actually understand what happened because i dont think you do. this isnt about whos more important. this is about trust and safety. whichever way you spin it, dad di

    "I'm actually so f--king sick of this she's ignored my last message too. I don't know what to do. I understand she's in a bad place rn but goddammit so am I and I just want my mum to actually give a s--t abt me for once." —u/bugsrlit

    Via u/bugsrlit

  • “I synced my calendar with my mum and forgot I have my birth control implant replacement date marked 3 years from now. She saw it and texted me this while I was at work. I’m 20.” Posted by u/Recifeeder

  • 6
    Font - giffgaff 19:30 M Mum > A Today 19:00 Do you have a birth control implant? THE MOTIOTIC by 0.10 You have an appointment to "replace implant" marked in your calendar. We need to talk about this when you get home. 7 99% Why were you looking 3 years into the future on my calendar Why? iMessage I'm going to bed when I get home and it's none of your business what I do with my body as an adult.
    Via u/Recifeeder
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  • 7
    Azure - giffgaff 1 19:30 M O Mum > body as an adult. I'm your mother of course it is my business if you're being unsafe and not thinking about the consequences. You are not leaving the house tomorrow until we have discussed this, you cannot behave this way when you don't have a boyfriend. I feel like using birth control is the opposite of unsafe Imao 7 99% Ok I'll just tell work I'm not coming in because my mummy grounded me for not wanting to get pregnant. Im staying at tonight, talk tomorrow A
    Via u/Recifeeder

  • “My mother dearest, whom my sister and I JUST let back into our lives, talking to my sister about her daughter (my niece). Behold the kind of person she is...” Posted by u/catamaranbatman

  • 8
    Product - 8:57 00 < M M M M M M +++++ ++++++ ++++++ ++++++ +++++ +++ +++++ What does Does she like barbie still? How about the pony toys? want for Christmas? She's not so much into the toys anymore. How about a new bike helmet? She likes playing outside. I'm not getting a little girl a helmet. Which barbies does she have? Send me pics No CQ: Mum she won't play with them. I just don't want you to be upset if she doesn't like them. She can say thank you, I did not raise you to raise ungrateful bra
    Via u/catamaranbatman
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  • “my sister and I work together and my mom expects me to go in for her whenever she doesn’t want to” Posted by u/itsmycandystore_

  • 9
    Font - TFW Be careful 9:15 PM Mom > Today 8:59 PM If she's sick u need to A A Why don't u wanna work. U only have those 2 days does she know I'm not working her shift tomorrow U need to discuss it with her. ldk. Don't have a attitude though when u do please I said this morning that I'm not going tomorrow if I went today Cash O Text Message I'm leaving 0 Ō
    Via u/itsmycandystore_
  • 10
    Font - TFW It's ok. It's nothing to cry about and it gives u extra money. Insurance comes out next week. I love u. Don't be upset I wouldn't mind if u didn't work tomorrow but sh isn't going camping I don't think. She's still sick It will be ok If she wasn't sick it would be different O° 10:12 PM Idk. It will be ok and looks good on u for going in. A Mom > A why can't she just call out it's not different I work her shifts all the time Cash Text Message 0
    Via u/itsmycandystore_
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  • 11
    Green - TFW 2 I said if she's not sick tomorrow ldk why u don't wanna work if they don't schedule u. O' 10:17 PM A Mom > you told me this morning that I wouldn't have to go tomorrow if I went today If she wasn't sick it would be different A Idk. It will be ok and looks good on u for going in. I'm tired of working for her because she decided to do something else why can't she just call out Cash it's not different Text Message OH M Ų
    Via u/itsmycandystore_
  • 12
    Font - TFW 2 It will be ok different Idk. It will be ok and looks good on u for going in. A 10:18 PM A Mom > it's not different I work her shifts all the time Calm down. It's not gonna kill u to work a few hours tomorrow. U can play your game when u get off. And u were not scheduled at all this past week. U need the hours I love u you literally told me that if I went in today I wouldn't need to tomorrow Cash Text Message 9
    Via u/itsmycandystore_

  • “My Antivax mom throwing a fit over me and my wife feeding our daughter a spinach pear puree this is a text message between my mom and my wife. This is why I don't talk to my mom.” Posted by u/minininjatriforceman

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  • 13
    Font - tonight L She was served with apple pear spinach purée !! Kenzie is not a big meat fan so we tried to introduce her as much as spinach as possible to makeup for iron intake 05:54 Spinach has a lot of oxalates you have to cook it down a lot and never uncooked. The oxalates could bind with the nutrients in her formula and rob her of more nutrients. I would be cautious. 06:57 Most of the oxalates can be easily get rid of by letting the spinach has a quick 20 seconds "bath" in the boiled wate
    Via u/minininjatriforceman

  • “It has been a year since grandma’s death. These texts are still upsetting me.” Posted by u/timetravelingisntfun

    OP added this for context: “Rebecca adopted me because Grandma wanted to adopt but the court denied her because of her age. Grandma took guardianship instead and I lived with her and was raised my her. At 18, I left for the air force. I was later medically discharged after being diagnosed with PTSD. I relocated to a different state to be far away from Rebecca. When I found out that grandma was dying, I moved across the country to be with her. I visited her every day that I was off work. When she finally died, no one told me. I found out by a nurse at the nursing home when I came to visit. These texts were a few days later. I hadn’t spoken to Rebecca, or anyone at that time, just my boss to take time off. I chose to take on my grief quietly. I woke up to her text that morning.”

  • 14
    Terrestrial plant - < 4:59 Rebecca > Sorry to bother you. I won't call, if you need me you call. I don't appreciate you bad mouthing me to people. I know your upset but that's on you, not me. Mar 1, 2022 at 1:11 PM Bad mouthing you? I haven't spoken to anyone. Who would I be bad mouthing to? I literally don't have anyone. Chill I'm not going to argue about it. Just letting you know. Yeah, you are trying to argue. Your version of not trying to argue is that you can say whatever you want and you d
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
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  • 15
    Terrestrial plant - 4:59 Rebecca > You also said you wanted to be involved. Well I have reached out but you are busy or don't feel like talking. But that's just to me. It's ok. Really. I will handle everything just don't bitch when you say you never told me. You didn't want to talk so I didn't bother you. Anyway glad she will be home tomorrow. It has been too long. Talk to me again when you're not manic anymore Oh please. I will cut you off before I spend anymore time arguing or fighting with an
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
  • 16
    Screenshot - 4:59 < Rebecca > I never claimed to be? I'm not trying to? You just made my decision so much easier. Thank you! : I mean, the less that you're texting me about random make believe arguments, the better for me. I'm not at all concerned. You act like you not talking to me is somehow a punishment when you literally just flipped out on me completely unprovoked My name Okay? I'm not your punching bag, Becky Not using you as one If this how you feel. That again is on you. I have no fake p
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
  • 17
    Font - 4:59 Rebecca > keep yours for myself. I'm so tired of you being the victim. really is ridiculous. I am perfectly fine, in a great mood! You will not ruin it, I will not let you. I hope friend, friend believe your lies. Because brother sure didn't. And it was not your place to tell him anything about any services. I never told you or confirmed any of it! Have a nice day I'm soooo tired of your mouth and do not have to put up it it anymore. Aunt's either, grandma is dead. I fulfilled my obl
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
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  • 18
    Drinkware - 4:59 O A Rebecca > Text Message : G Okay OH
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
  • 19
    Terrestrial plant - 5:00 < Rebecca > Btw...BTW...top one was yours. And I just ordered them today will pick up tomorrow. Your loss A : Give me the urn. I'll pay you for it so you won't have to worry Don't use grandma's ashes like a weapon Not a damn thing and I will keep it for myself. I'm not using her or her ashes. She told me to cut you loose long ago. I chose not to because I love you and adopted you. But you continue to show how ungrateful you are. You owe me nothing, I want nothing from yo
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
  • 20
    Organism - 5:00 < # Uncle is a priest and is Ok you can ask anyone. They will tell you. Ask Uncle he won't lie. holding the funeral Rebecca > O Okay And you and I both know that she didn't say that. Don't make thinks up. (( Okay. Look, you just started texting me accusing me of bad mouthing you. Who do I have to talk to? I don't have a single person. Grandma is gone now. You are using her ashes as a weapon and that's really messed up. Just calm down a bit and talk to me when you're not seeing re
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
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  • 21
    Terrestrial plant - 5:00 < Rebecca > A never said that. I don't even know. I don't answer my phone because I am on the phones 40 hours a week and the very last thing I want to do is to talk on the phone. It's not personal. Dont take it personal Unde is at work. He is just sparing your feeling. I will tell him to tell you the truth : Calm down. Talk to me when you are calm. I'm tired and grieving too. ((. And all I told Jacob is that grandma died. Never mentioned you, just that you were sad becau
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
  • 22
    Font - 5:00 Rebecca > Please don't bother my brother anymore. He was at work. I didn't barr you from the funeral but keep it little girl! I'm at my limit with your mouth! No need to respond. Mar 1, 2022 at 9:41 PM A Yeah but didnt think you'd bother him at work. Especially since you have boundaries You literally told me to talk to him You're so weird Keep it up my name. I will barr you from the funeral like you told Mi Lillat maka a liar uit of ((. Uh huh I sent him all the screenshots of our co
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
  • 23
    Organism - 5:00 Rebecca > Keep it up My name. I will barr you from the funeral like you told Unde. I will not make a liar out of you. I also told him, I was not putting up with your shit and if I chose to not have you there, so be it. And if he didn't like it, he too could stay home. You are fucking with the wrong person right now...watch it Oh fuck you 'O Whatcha going to do? Send me to my room? Just stay by your miserable self and don't bother me anymore. I'm so done. Next step I block you and
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
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  • 24
    Terrestrial plant - 5:00 Rebecca > You did this to yourself. No one to blame but you Uncle only spared your feelings. Because he is that nice, I however am not. He knows exactly what was said. I have no reason to lie. : I mean, I'm not at all concerned with you cutting me off. You are absolutely horrible to me. Using grandma's ashes to manipulate me... my goodness. He knows everything. He, big H. You know, god And no, you're lying. You and I both know that. Stop making crap up, Becky. You look p
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
  • 25
    Font - 5:00 < Rebecca > Always the victim! No I got those for you bit you don't deserve them. I did it with a good heart. Since you don't care then I guess we are done. Send my shirt please and my house key. You are no needed at my mother's funeral. So don't make plans to come. I will enjoy my day. Have a nice life and remember who took care of you all of yours! My family and I. And how ungrateful your sorry ass is. Goodbye you no longer need to contact me or any of my family. You have been shun
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
  • 26
    Font - 5:00 Ok Good for you I don't care. Move Fuck off You need help Rebecca > Have a great life, Rebecca Says the lady who blew up my phone this morning About some make believe crap Grandma hated you anyway. At least after you came back A Text Message
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
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  • 27
    Terrestrial plant - 5:00 < Grandma hated you anyway. At least after you came back Rebecca She called you a little bitch on more than one occasion Oh sure. She definitely hated me every time I came to see her and all she did was sob and hold my hand She was dying yourself O And she called you a bitch too My name, don't flatter That's OK I am and I'm her daughter. You are NOTHING ((. Oh, yeah. You're right. She also hated me the day I left to go to the Air Force sobbing about how much she would mi
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
  • 28
    Terrestrial plant - < 5:00 disrespectful. Hahahhahaha Rebecca But once you got out after lying about your rap. You were very I'm her daughter too, beck You can't bar me from her funeral She legally got guardianship of me. I'm her kid OH YES I CAN LITTLE GIRL THAT'S WHERE YOU ARE WRONG A her No, husband and I did : But you're right, she absolutely signed that hated me as paperwork We didn't dislike then. You were still a decent person. Ok * Medically discharged from Air force after diagnose with
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
  • 29
    Font - 5:00 < Ok Go ahead Me too Please send it to Uncle first bitch Rebecca > O You can't get under my skin, Beck. Keep trying. I'm going to screenshot this all and send it to literally everyone A You are really pathetic and showing your age. A child Will do, since I'm such a great daughter and I do everything you ask of me I wish you didn't adopt me. Never asked you to. That was something you decided to do. What a mother, using my trauma of my ra as a weapon. No, I'm not the pathetic one here.
    Via u/timetravelingisntfun
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  • “mom pretending to be dad texting” Posted by u/mynmomalt

  • 30
    Terrestrial plant - Text Message Today 7:31 AM Maybe this was all caused by you and your boyfriend called her an unloving mother after she waited hand and foot on the two of you for over a year Have fun with your "generational living" scheme. Looks fun. But you can skip adding a room for me and your mom. Looks like fun. Not. Today 8:43 AM Your mother has been nothing but nice to you. The fact is that you and your boyfriend used us for an entire year. You never had any real intentions of buying a
    Via u/mynmomalt
  • 31
    Font - Hi, Your mother just called me. She's in an incredibly volatile vicious mood. So if you get an email or call or anything I'd delete it before reading. Yikes. Probably a combination of your birthday and mother's day. I put the phone down and brushed my teeth and shaved and when I came back she was still at it. What madness. I'd laugh if I wasn't worried about you getting part of it. Have a great rest of your birthday. Love Dad

    OP added this for context: "the first screenshot is from my dads number when it's clearly my mom texting. the second is an email from my dads email, which he told me to contact him on instead of text when I moved out since she checks his texts. We lived on their property a year and looked for houses but surprisingly we only had weekends to look (god forbid we work apparently) and got outbid every time! Also the 'every previous bf loved your mom' comment. I've had 2 serious bf's before, 4 total. she used her usual gifting to win favor. And one of them didn't even like her lol. She later sent me a picture of a letter my ex wrote to her, thanking her to include him in her birthday celebrations. To me that's just polite, not loving. Also who knows how long she spent going through things to find it since it was over 5 years ago, unless she's hanging on to letters my boyfriend when I was 17 wrote her?"

    Via u/mynmomalt

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