'This will lead to her getting ostracized more': Parent forbids daughter to go on school field trip for a strange reason

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 4, 2024 8:00 PM EST

School overnight trips are where everything goes down. I remember my eighth grade class trip to Washington DC better than I remember what I ate for lunch yesterday. It's a unique chance to really get to know your classmates (especially the ones you're not friends with) outside the confines of school itself. Something about sleeping over with people you don't usually sleep over with is exhilarating. What kind of pajamas do they wear? Do they have a weird retainer they have to wear on at night? Do they have night terrors? It's a bonding experience, to say the least. 

I would have hated to miss out on these trips, lest I be left out of a grade-wide inside joke about that hilarious thing Brendan did at the Lincoln Memorial. Good times. This Reddit post stoked conversation around these trips and shamed the mom who tried to keep her kid from going.

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  • 01
    20 r/AmltheAsshole u/almostheavenNOT • 12h AITA for not letting my daughter go on a class trip?
    via u/almostheavenNOT
  • 02
    My daughter transfered to a new school this year. It's a private school, and part of their traditions is a beginning of the year overnight class trip every August. She was too late for this year, but next years' is a 2 night trip to Philadelphia. One problem: no more than 6 people can share a hotel room, and there are now 37 girls that would need one. We found out that there's a group of 4 'day-only' kids (3 girls, 1 boy) that actually do stay overnight, at the same hotel even, they just don't d
    via u/almostheavenNOT
  • 03
    The four aren't super well liked and there have been bullying issues, especially against the boy, but they're friends with each other, so the parents banded together and decided to just fund and chaperone them themselves to avoid any issues. They do two rooms: one for the kids, and one for whichever parent goes. They've reached out and offered to let my daughter share with them. She wants to do it. I'm not comfortable. Coed sleepovers are not acceptable. It's completely inappropriate.
    via u/almostheavenNOT
  • 04
    We've been back and forth with this for weeks. The verdict is clear. There's no open room she can get into through the school, they're not getting her a single room, we can't afford to do anything similar to the other independent group, and we just can't accept a coed sleepover. Going is not an option. She's devastated and begging me to reconsider. She says it's my fault that she even had to transfer schools sophmore year and that we've had to move so much that this is the first time we're going
    via u/almostheavenNOT
  • 05
    booksiwabttoread • 12h As a teacher I can tell you things: 1. These trips are important. This is where memories and friends are made. You need to do everything you can to make this happen. 2. Unless you didn't register on time or there's other info you are leaving out, the school needs to find a way to include her. You need to meet with administration and find out why your child is being excluded. Edit: OP has finally admitted that they missed the deadline to sign up. This is completely OP's fau
    via u/booksiwabttoread
  • 06
    waltersmama. 12h Retired teacher here . I second this. If the school doesn't budge, for god sakes let her go. It's one boy in a group of girls. OP: Unless your concern is for the boy, which would be ridiculous, I honestly have no idea what you are concerned about. This seems like a "I think cooed hotel rooms are always forbidden. That's it, no exceptions, I said so and I don't care if I'm being irrational, I already said no so despite being shown how unreasonable I'm being I WILL WIN THIS ARGUME
    via u/waltersmama
  • 07
    sheramom4. 12h Craptain [170] INFO: You said no more than six can share a room so why aren't they doing a room of 4 and a room of 3 through the school? Or have you considered just getting her a room of her own?
    via u/sheramom4
  • 08
    almostheavenNOT OP 12h ● They don't have the budget for more than 16 rooms (6 for the female students, 6 for the male students, and 4 for the chaperones). Splitting the students is still an extra room.
    via u/almostheavenNOT
  • 09
    DirectPanda. 12h Sounds like a school. How much tuition are you paying for them to isolate students instead of booking enough accommodation?
    via u/DirectPanda
  • 10
    emz272 12h Aficionado [16] ● The "day-only" thing is also really bizarre and troubling, it sounds like those four kids (or their parents) proactively opted out because of issues they would have in the larger group... yikes.
    via u/emz272
  • 11
    Frisianian 12h ● YTA. What exactly do you think will happen with it being a co-ed sleepover? That this young boy is some sort of lothario who is going to seduce all the girls into a sexual pileup where they all please him? Of course not! Everyone will change in the bathroom in shifts or they'll banish him to the bathroom while the girls all change and let him out when they are done. The chaperone will likely be in the next room and will be the parent of one of these kids meaning that kid is goin
    via u/Frisianian
  • 12
    At worst they'll goof off too late chatting and be tired the next day. It gives your daughter the chance of an instant friend group if she chooses which can be needed for people who change schools a lot. Don't take this away from her and leave her out of whatever stories come from the trip. She'll feel like the odd one out all year whenever something about the trip comes up. Do you want your daughter to be left out and to feel alone? Always do everything you can to prevent that, right? If your d
    via u/Frisianian
  • 13
    CodexAnima. 12h With 6 people to a room, I'm assuming it's an Embassy Suites type set up, as it's the main hotel I know that sleeps 6. If so- the boy may me banished to sleep on the sofa bed. And there is a door. Something like that is no a worry, especially if the chaperones have a connecting room
    via u/CodexAnima
  • 14
    pupperoni42 12h Partassipant [1] ● INFO: Why is your daughter being excluded from the trip? Did you fail to register her in time? I would not consider a co-ed room to be a deal breaker, as long as your daughter is comfortable with the kids she'd be sharing with. In a group like that on a field trip with multiple kids of both genders, it would be unusual for anything sexual to happen. My daughter's friend group in high school happened to be her and 6 boys, because they had common interests. The g
    via u/pupperoni42
  • 15
    TO ulalumelenore • 12h INFO: why can't your daughter get in on the school's rooms? You're talking about this many months in advance. Why are all the other girls apparently getting preferred over your daughter? Also, why are co-ed sleepovers unacceptable? What exactly do you think is going to happen with four girls and a singular boy? Edit: YTA based on your answers..... and lack thereof.
    via u/ulalumelenore
  • 16
    scrubadubdub- . 12h YTA for sure. I don't know what you think is going to happen at a "co-ed" sleepover with a single boy sharing a room with a bunch of girls, but have you considered that your daughter or one of the many girls she'd be on this trip with might be a lesbian, making the whole "co-ed" thing meaningless? If you're so concerned, book her her own room or go on the trip yourself to supervise, but not allowing her to go is a punishment that is ostracizing her and making her situation mo
    via u/scrubadubdub-
  • 17
    A_Drenched_Lettuce 12h ● "you cant just accept a coed sleep over" It's not 1 boy and 1 girl. And i'm definitely making assumptions here so im already in the wrong for that, but being "that boy" in school... I wouldn't worry too much about that 1 boy... It sounds like you're looking for a reason to just not let your daughter go on that trip, so you should just tell her you just don't want her to go. Not sure why you don't but you are sadly the parent. Also the fact you're not even willing to list
    via u/A_Drenched_Lettuce
  • 18
    toodleroo 12h When I was 13, I got invited to a birthday party for a girl that I desperately wanted to be friends with and be part of her friend group. The party involved a pre- party at the girl's house, then her mom had rented a van to take us all to her aunt's house for a pool party. My mom dropped me off at the pre-party and talked to the other mom, who happened to mention that the aunt's house was in Oak Cliff, the "bad part of town." My mom left, we all piled into the van and hit the road.
    via u/toodleroo
  • 19
    neverthelessidissent. 12h Professor Emeritass [86] YTA. This will lead to her getting ostracized more. Figure it out with the school, but keeping her home is wrong when she's been through so much.
    via u/neverthelessidissent

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