'She's pretty much trying to steal your child': Overbearing mother-in-law throws a baby shower for herself, but it's not her baby

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 8, 2024 6:00 PM EST

There are so many mother-in-law horror stories from around the internet that there's a whole subreddit dedicated to it. It's a classic gripe, the whole Meet the Parents franchise of movies is based around the phenomenon of hating your in-laws. But it's classic for a reason. Family who's not quite your family but acts like your family… that's a tricky relationship. You want to include them in your life because you love your S.O., but setting those boundaries in the right way is a tough gig. And people love to push the limits of your personal life when they feel they're entitled. Most folks just grin and bear it if they have the luxury of not seeing their in-laws that often. 

Of course, things get more complicated when there are kids involved and you live close by. That's the driving force behind this recent Reddit story that exposed the nefarious dealings of a real monster-in-law. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Awkward_Nerve6154 · 1d AITA for telling my MIL she won't be seeing my baby after throwing a baby shower for herself?
    via u/Awkward_Nerve6154
  • 02
    My husband and I are expecting our first child. We moved to be closer to his family. I'm no contact with mine. My mother in law has been referring to the baby as "her" baby this entire time. She will say things like "I can't wait for my baby to be born." "My baby is going to be so loved." This rubs me the wrong way for reasons I cannot explain, but my husband tells me to ignore her.
    via u/Awkward_Nerve6154
  • 03
    My MIL wanted to throw me a baby shower and invite her friends. She said they made an agreement a long time ago that they would celebrate each other's kids' weddings and births. My husband and I eloped and declined a reception for her friends since we don't know them. My MIL told me that I owed it to her to let her throw the baby shower since I hurt her friends' feelings by not having wedding reception. I asked if I could invite my friends, and she said no, that this was for her friends, and tha
    via u/Awkward_Nerve6154
  • 04
    At the shower they provided me with a "mother to be" sash and my MIL a "granny to be" sash to wear. I noticed that the theme of the shower was circus animals. The cake had an elephant and balloons on it, and the cookies were animals. At first I thought that maybe the floral theme was just too difficult, so I rolled with it until it was time to open presents. Every present was some sort of circus animal. Onesies, blankets, toys - nothing on my registry. I was a little confused and even went so fa
    via u/Awkward_Nerve6154
  • 05
    My husband, who is a little less tactful than I am, showed up at the end of the shower and noticed the theme right away. He goes "what's up with all the circus animals?" He looks at the presents and says, "This isn't what we asked for." Then he looked at his mom and goes "MOM. What did you do?" She smiled and said, "I didn't like the theme you chose for my baby. I'm going to decorate my baby's nursery at my house with circus animals, so I created a registry for myself." My husband said, "YOU DID
    via u/Awkward_Nerve6154
  • 06
    I lost my composure and told her that she would not see MY baby and to stop calling the baby hers, and my husband told his mom that she's delusional if she thinks we're going to allow this. She started crying and said we are just withholding her baby from her. We've been getting texts from his family since the shower, calling us selfish and ungrateful and saying we ruined her joy of being a grandma. Are we the AH?
    via u/Awkward_Nerve6154
  • 07
    Wonderful-Set6647 • 1d Partassipant [2] NTA make sure if she has keys to your home locks are changed. Make sure you invest in security cameras. Let the hospital know your mil is to be no where near your baby. Let them no you and your husband are the only two that fill out any paper works. Honestly no contact from the start that away she has no grandparents visitation case. Document every creepy thing she does. Call your dr and tell your pediatrician at the time to pass word protect your medical
    via u/Wonderful-Set6647
  • 08
    unlovelyladybartleby. 1d Enthusiast [5] Also, make sure daycare has a picture of her for the "no pickup list" And I agree. This is either going to end in attempted baby snatching or bunny boiling.
    via u/unlovelyladybartleby
  • 09
    Pondering-Out-Loud • 1d Aficionado [12] What the heck did I just read? Like... Just how creepy can your MIL get? She's pretty much trying to steal your child from you, so heck no, you're obviously NTA. There is nothing wrong with a (good) grandmother expecting her grandchild to come over for sleepovers. There is nothing wrong with a grandmother to prepare a bedroom for that. There is nothing wrong with a grandmother deciding the theme for that room. But your MIL took it to an unacceptable level
    via u/Pondering-Out-Loud
  • 10
    1. ... should have been honest upfront. 2.... shouldn't have called it a baby shower. 3.... shouldn't have led you to believe you'd receive gifts from your registry. Likewise, she had no right to put herself at the same level as you with those sashes. Most of all, she absolutely has no right to call your baby hers, and that BS needs to stop. This is decidedly NOT about her being a grandmother, and that's precisely the issue at hand. She doesn't see herself as a grandmother. She sees herself as y
    via u/Pondering-Out-Loud
  • 11
    flyingpinkjellyfish • 1d Ah, you have one of those MILs. I'm so sorry. You don't need or deserve this crap. I'm glad your husband is handling this because it's so much worse when you're on your own. My husband got his mom to stop with the "my baby" by repeatedly answering all of her statements as himself. "Im doing great mom, thanks for your concern". "I'm not sure when you'll get to see me next, I'm pretty busy with my newborn". And on and on. It took about three weeks but she finally gave up a
    via u/flyingpinkjellyfish
  • 12
    StacyB125. 1d Enthusiast [5] What the actual hell is with grandmothers on Reddit trying to either steal babies or steal their own sons away from their spouses!?! It's so freaking creepy and absolutely insane. NTA. This woman is not in a healthy enough headspace to be anywhere near your child. I'd be afraid for the baby's safety.
    via u/StacyB125
  • 13
    • 1d YouthNAsia63 Prime Ministurd [408] OMG, why did she even invite you to her circus themed, (appropriate, I roll my eyes)), baby shower, since it was for her and her friends for her "baby". She could have just quietly had a party for her and all her little buddies, and they could have filled up the babies room at grandma's house, without even involving you. NTA for being weirded out over this whole thing.
    via u/YouthNAsia63
  • 14
    Purple MarsAlien • 1d Craptain [150] I'm going to guess she didn't fill in her friends as to the registry being "grandma's" registry versus mother-to-be's registry.
    via u/PurpleMarsAlien
  • 15
    Emotional_Bonus_934 • 1d Pooperintendant [51] NTA. Her circus has plenty of clowns
    via u/Emotional_Bonus_934
  • 16
    Apart-Ad-6518 • 1d Aficionado [10] ΝΤΑ This is very disturbing behavior..deranged in fact. If you & your husband ever do relent & let her glimpse the baby, I know you will never let him or her out of your sight & that nursery will NEVER be used. I'm not usually alarmist, but please ensure you have security cameras installed in and around your home. Also that MIL has no keys. Change the locks if need be. Congratulations to you & your husband on your baby, hope all goes well.
    via u/Apart-Ad-6518
  • 17
    Enough-Issue5404. 1d Partassipant [2] Im sorry if this is rude but I don't know how else to put it... that woman needs therapy ΝΤΑ
    via u/Enough-Issue5404
  • 18
    COLGkenny 1d Enthusiast [7] FLED YIKES, NTA!!!! Id get it if she said "my grand baby" or something to indicate that she wasn't the primary provider of that child. It's almost like she's treating you as a surrogate for "her baby".
    via u/COLGkenny

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family drama aita baby pregnancy mother reddit story am i the asshole in laws mother in law family pregnant baby shower subreddit reddit thread Reddit
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