'I have more money for my dogs': Childless couples over 40 discuss if they regret not having kids

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 5, 2024 4:00 PM EST

The decision to have kids or not is an incredibly personal one, but that doesn't stop people from acting like it's their business. Child-havers love to hound the happily childfree, pressuring them into making the same decision they did. What those people fail to realize (and this is a tough one), is that you never know what it's like to be somebody else. No matter how hard you try, you will never know what it's like in someone else's brain. So odds are they know better than you, and they're probably pretty happy with their decision. 

But when you're young, it can be hard to tune out those voices and listen to your inner one. So luckily, the good people of Reddit have come together to assuage some fears about going through life without kids. Different strokes for different folks, y'all! Every decision you make has to be the right one because guess what, you made it!

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  • 01
    r/AskReddit u/NetworkOver7742 . 1d Couples over 40 and childless, how has life turned out for you? Do you regret not having children?
    via u/NetworkOver7742
  • 02
    i-need-blinker-fluid • 1d No regrets here, we are enjoying the flexibility and free time. The only issue we have is finding more people to hang out with as everyone seems to be too tired/busy because they have children.
    via u/i-need-blinker-fluid
  • 03
    TX Omnizoom. 1d Even without kids people are too busy these days
    via u/Omnizoom
  • 04
    gratefuldad20089 • 1d My dad used to say I wouldn't take $1 billion for one of my children but I wouldn't pay $.50 to have another one
    via u/gratefuldad20089
  • 05
    DammitMaxwell • 1d Ha! Brilliantly put. I have a daughter who is the entire purpose of my life my whole reason for being and the best thing that ever happened to me. I also could not possibly do it again.
    via u/DammitMaxwell
  • 06
    Tagihi. 1d My wife and I decided not to have children. We go out for dinner a lot. If we had kids I think we'd be divorced. We have overcome a lot and it took 100% of ourselves at times to accomplish. If we had also been parents at the time I don't think we would have made it.
    via u/Tagihi
  • 07
    AffectionateYam9637 • 1d Amazing, 54 this year, she is 52, we have been together 32 years. I would not change a thing.
    via u/AffectionateYam9637
  • 08
    LalahLovato • 23h My husband and I never had kids - we are in our late 60s. We have friends' kids and nephews & nieces that we spoil but I don't miss not having my own. Kids are a lot of work and dedication and I decided if I couldn't commit to that, there was no point. We certainly enjoy others' children - definitely don't miss having our own. Happily married btw My mom had 5 kids and now 11 grandchildren. I am the only one that visits her or talks with her. My sister will drive through town on
    via u/LalahLovato
  • 09
    bo jl_571d Maybe 10% regret, 90% not. These big life decisions generally aren't all-or-nothing. I have a lot of anxiety, and kids pick up 9n that. I wouldn't want to burden a child with coping with my anxiety, on top of just learning how to be a human, which is hard enough already.
    via u/jl_57
  • 10
    Mysterious Seesaw786 • 1d I wouldn't say regret it. I have medical conditions that make having a biological child impossible, we also met and married later in life. My husband is a few years younger than me. We have come to accept and enjoy being the "fun" auntie and uncle, but honestly sometimes it wonder if my husband regrets not having children of his own and me for not being able to give them to him, he never has said anything to make me feel that, but I can't help but wonder
    via u/Mysterious_Seesaw786
  • 11
    Appropriate-Emu4576 • 1d Not over 40 yet, but getting there. So far, life is brilliant. We know several parents, and at least a few of them look like they have very happy lives with children. So I don't think a life with children would have necessarily turned out miserable. But that would have been a different kind of happiness, and we are content with our own version. The most important difference is that we are not obsessed with making more money or living at a particular standard to make our
    via u/Appropriate-Emu4576
  • 12
    Ultimatelee. 1d Pretty good! I've always known I wasn't a mothering type and I met my partner in highschool and he had the same feelings. We've never changed our minds and we are going on 22 years together. We live a full life, eat out heaps, go to concerts, the theatre, holidays, we have so much freedom it's insane. We nurture our hobbies, and sleep in a lot. All of our friends have kids and complain constantly about how hard it is, how exhausted they are and how much money it's costing them. N
    via u/Ultimatelee
  • 13
    Not_a_werecat. 1d Thank goodness we don't have any. Life is hard as hell. We'd probably be homeless now if we had the extra financial burden of children. Some of us don't end up rolling on piles of money. Some of us are just celebrating that we're not financially underwater as we would have been if kids were in the picture.
    via u/Not_a_werecat
  • 14
    811545b2-4ff7-4041 1d You won't get many replies as they're too busy rolling around in their piles of money, with the time to enjoy such an activity.
    via u/811545b2-4ff7-4041
  • 15
    Zoe_Hamm 1d ● My partner and I have the freedom and the life we wanted. We can travel whenever we want, save money, sleep in, have late nights out. Parenting was never something either of us wanted and looking at the state of things all over the world, we're extremely happy with our decision.
    via u/Zoe_Hamm
  • 16
    skillao • 23h 23 year old chiming in to say it's very relieving and validating to read all your responses. I don't want children and never have, but I'm at that age where everyone swears I'm gonna change my mind and it's frustrating. You're all living proof I can, and will, be happy without children.
    via u/skillao
  • 17
    SunnyGirlDD • 1d As I sit here in silence drinking my coffee w/ baileys & enjoying my wake & bake as I look off into the quiet snowy morning I must admit- Wait. Is that a goose? I'm off to follow it & see where the day takes me...
    via u/SunnyGirlDD
  • 18
    EstroJen 1d ● I'm 42, single. I have more money for my dogs which is nice. My mom hounded me about having kids while I was still a kid. I've always been child free but my mom would negate my opinions saying I'd change my mind or "who will take care of you when you're old?" It finally got to a point where she told me I was selfish for not giving her grandchildren. It just added into my decision to go no contact with her. So I guess that whole "who will take care of you when you get old" idea is m
    via u/EstroJen

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Tags

single boomer childfree millennials askreddit generation x parenting parenting memes aging having kids over 40 reddit thread Reddit discourse regret children
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