‘Her rent is MORE than my mortgage’: Woman with 9 cats is upset her homeowner-boyfriend won't move into her overpriced rented house

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Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Jan 29, 2024 9:00 PM EST

If you own a home with a low interest rate in this economy, holy moly, you have to hold on tight to that. Most people reaching the typical "homeowners" age are not even able to dream of owning a home, let alone, one with a reasonable interest rate. So when this guy posted on Reddit asking if it was unreasonable for him to not want to give up his home that he owns and only pays 2.8% interest, the internet obviously sided with him.

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  • So, what's happening here, is a classic girlfriend-boyfriend dispute. They have been dating for over three years now and want to move in together. It's the logical next step. The dilemma is, however, who will move into whose place? Usually it's a little bit more of a blurred line situation. However, the internet agrees, that in the case of this Redditor's situation, he most definitely should not give up his home. He owns his home, has since before they started dating, and pays a low interest rate. She is renting a home, granted, it's a tad bigger, but her rent is way higher than his mortgage, and she has 9 cats, a dog, and daughter. Financially speaking, she should jump at the chance to move in somewhere where she no longer has to worry about rent. Unless he's willing to add her to the deed, which I'm thinking he wouldn't right away at least, she would basically be living for free! And he LOVES the animals, which is crazy! Because most people hear “9 cats and a dog” and think that is pure chaos. But he's down with the pets, it's about losing his homeownership. And the internet agrees: Do not give up that home, my dude! 

    Do you know a delulu girlfriend who is #girlbossgatekeepgaslight too? Then you'll love these memes!

  • 01
    "[She wants me to] sacrifice my house to move in with her... And her 9 cats."
    via Ivan Radic via Flickr
  • 02
    r/Amlthe hole. 1 day ago Dramaticthroway AITA for telling my girlfriend her expectations are unrealistic and that I MA won't sacrifice my house to move in with her? Not the Hey guys. My girlfriend and I have dated for around 3 years. We have lived separately this whole time, but obviously see each other often.
    via u/Dramaticthroway
  • 03
    In a few months her lease at her current house (1800 sqft) is going to be up and we're discussing moving together. She has 9 cats and a dog and a daughter. I have a dog. I own my house (bought it 3.5 years ago before I met her) and it's about 400 sqft less than her place. She wants me to move into her house she's renting when I have a perfectly good home to live in. I understand her concerns
    via u/Dramaticthroway
  • 04
    about space and the comfort of the animals, but 1300 sqft isn't THAT small and I feel like it'd be a horrible financial decision to give up on my 2.8% interest rate and start renting again (especially because my homes value will probably continue to increase). On top of that her rent is MORE than my mortgage.
    via u/Dramaticthroway
  • 05
    She's adamantly against living in my house though and is acting like I'm a for trying to explain its a bad decision financially to do this. I haven't been trying to be abrasive or or talk down on her or her desires. But she seems to think if I don't move into her rented house I'm not making sacrifices for her. Am I the hole? If you have questions that would help with context I'll answer them. I'm not sure what info you guys would need. Thanks
    via u/Dramaticthroway
  • 06
    Edit: Adding this on before people see it. She seems to think I'm being a because I told her that her expectations are unrealistic and that it'd be financially irresponsible to our future One more edit: her main concern is that there won't be enough room for her animals to be comfortable. My argument is that, financially speaking, space is
    via u/Dramaticthroway
  • 07
    expensive. We need to make it work and figure it out because it's not in our budget to own a house bigger and renting isn't financially responsible when I own Another edit: part of my issue is that she's currently struggling paying for the space she has now. She currently shares the house she has with a roommate (who would leave if I moved in) and their dog but is seriously considering a second job to afford it
    via u/Dramaticthroway
  • 08
    Aggressive-Bed3... 1d ago. Edited 23h ago P perintendant [60] NINE CATS? That women doesn't rent a house, she runs a F G ZOO. Your girlfriend needs an education in compromise. Compromise, it turns out, does NOT mean "She gets whatever she wants and her opinion is right, you're an if you disagree!" Absolutely do not sell your house, regardless of whatever else you do. I cannot imagine wanting to live in an 1800 sq/ft house with two adults, two dogs, a child, and nine cats.
    via u/Aggressive-Bed3269
  • 09
    Even MORESO, I cannot imagine wanting to allow my SO to bring that type of scenario into my home, either. The zoo would be a dealbreaker for me in general, as would her behavior in not understanding how good your position is and why it would be entirely ASININE for you to sacrifice that position. ΝΤΑ Edit: The more I think about it, the more I realize that your gf is probably either not being forthright, or possible doesn't even know that she is unwilling to contribute to YOUR house.
    via u/Aggressive-Bed3269
  • 10
    She could resent that you have a house and she doesn't and she could simply not want to contribute to a house/property that she has no ownership in. Which, were it the case, would be hilarious because... do you think renting is, girl? Either way this is a HUGE red flag.
    via u/Aggressive-Bed3269
  • 11
    Dramaticthroway OP 23h ago I love animals so that's not a concern for me. Her pets are awesome and I like being around them. But the rest... yeah... Reply ↑ Share 884 ... More replies Munchkins_nDragons 21h ago That's got to be the most lax landlord in existence. Every lease I've ever had either rejected pets outright, or limited them to no more than 3. 468 Reply ↑ Share
    via u/Munchkins_nDragons
  • 12
    Dramaticthroway OP 1d ago . This is how I feel. We were planning on spending our lives together but idk how to work around this when we can't live together Reply ↑ Share 295 + More replies Ambroisie_Cy. 22h ago Nothing to add to that. Everything has been said. NTA
    via u/Ambroisie_Cy
  • 13
    diminishingpatience 23h ago Commander in Cheeks [269] NTA. she seems to think if I don't move into her rented house I'm not making sacrifices for her. There's no reason that you should. She wants you to sacrifice your financial stability and she's prepared to sacrifice...what?
    via u/diminishingpatience
  • 14
    RocMills 22h ago and she's prepared to sacrifice...what? This, right here, is the question that should be on OP's mind. She seems to want you to sacrifice an awful lot (owning your own home, great interest rate, etc.) without indicating what it is that she is willing to sacrifice in the name of compromise. If she can't compromise now, she'll never be able to compromise as a wife/life partner.
    via u/RocMills
  • 15
    dishonestgandalf. 1d ago Professor Emeritass [86] INFO: How much could you rent your house for? Would it be enough to cover the mortgage? More? Definitely don't give up that 2.8% rate, you're right that that would be financially irresponsible. But if you could rent your place for enough to cover the mortgage, then renting a more comfortable space, even if it's a little more than your current mortgage payment isn't really a bad idea. My place is 1600sqft and I definitely couldn't handle 9 cats an
    via u/dishonestgandalf
  • 16
    Dramaticthroway OP 1d ago I don't know. I may be able to break even but the extra stress of property and tenant management and maintenance sounds awful because I already work a lot. I've heard so many horror stories about being a landlord. I make about 90k a year but grind a lot of hours and idk if I'd have time to do it without overloading myself whenever things come up. It could happen but I know I'd be the one doing it all and that sounds like so much to do to me but idk
    via u/Dramaticthroway
  • 17
    calling_water. 22h ago Partassipant [2] Loving animals is great. Loving animals so much that she can't afford enough space to keep them, is not. You say that the main issue for her is that your place is smaller, and she thinks she needs more space for her animals (which she may very well do space is a big deal when there are so many). But also that she can't afford her place without help, and renting her place is a bad financial decision versus paying off your place. So she's needing you to move
    via u/calling_water
  • 18
    Dramaticthroway OP 21h ago Not the case at all. She works in a vet office and they're taken care of very well minus space restrictions. Special diets for the sensitive stomached ones, individual litter boxes with their preferred litter for whichever cat, etc
    via u/Dramaticthroway
  • 19
    Office Desk906. 17h ago Honestly, I suspect this is why she is reluctant to give up her space for OP's. If they break up, she's going to struggle to find a place that will take all her pets. If she considers them to be family members, there's no giving then up. That can mean being homeless. So it's a very bad idea for her to put all her eggs into OP's basket. From that perspective, she's not being unreasonable. OP, NTA for not wanting to sell your house, but you can rent it and move in with her.
    via Office_Desk906

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boyfriend relationship advice too many cats homeowner dating drama homeownership moving in together cat lady girlfriend love cats relationship problems boyfriend dilemma living with cats Renters nine cats longterm relationship
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