FAIL Blog

Resident gets back at lazy city officials after traffic lights cause unnecessary traffic: 'I got a 4x8 piece of plywood'

There's nothing quite as classicly infuriating as being stuck in traffic, sitting trapped in your little steel box in a sea of other little steel boxes, unable to move, go anywhere, or even stretch your legs. You're feeling claustrophobic, probably running late for something, even if you thought you had left with plenty of time to spare.

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Posted by Brad Dickson
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  • It's another layer of frustration entirely when the traffic is caused by something entirely preventable, like an irresponsible driver, bad road design, or even just an errant traffic light. There's nothing you can do about the first and nearly nothing you can do about the latter two, either. It's likely whatever budget was allocated to creating that bit of road or installing that traffic light was long since exhausted; whatever politician or government official was advocating for it has long since checked it off their list; whatever government worker you get a hold of to try and fix the darn thing is probably so underpaid, overworked, and apathetic that they're not going to be in a hurry to help you either. And to be fair, from their perspective, what's the point? They know that anything they say will just be ignored—and they probably said something during the design process and were ignored anyway.

    So, while it's not exactly right to take it out on the lowest-level government workers responsible for the thing you're mad about, making a lot of noise is sometimes the only way to get things done…

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  • 1
    Posted by u/Maximum_Power4088 Metered On Ramps Back when metered on ramps were first installed on the main highway in my town in Oregon, the interval between lights on the ramp I used daily was 15 seconds. Cars would be backed up onto the adjacent feeder streets, and you could be stuck for 15-20 minutes on the ramp. Took a bit of research to find out that it wasn't the City or County, but ODOT (Oregon Department of Transportation) that controlled them.
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
  • 2
    After repeated complaints and no action, I finally got the names of the two ODOT Traffic Engineers responsible for setting the light intervals. I made numerous voice mails, and finally, had one discussion, but still no fix to the issue. Well, back in the day (early 2000s), we still had phone books, and both these Engineers had listed home phone numbers.
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
  • 3
    I got a 4x8 piece of plywood and painted & lettered it: "Tired of these idiotic ramp lights? Call the ODOT Engineers responsible for them. Dennis Mxxxxxxx 503 xxX XXXX Bill Cxx 503 XXX XXXX And let them know what you think."
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
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  • 4
    I stood with it on the side of the ramp for 2 days, 4pm to 6pm. The next day, I get a call from one of them (don't remember which) begging me to stop. I said "Fix the lights" "You'll stop with the sign?" lights" "Fix the "OK"
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
  • 5
    The very next day, they had a survey crew out there in the afternoon to count cars, and the day after that, the lights were reset to 3 seconds between cars. Bottom line...when dealing with government, until those personally responsible are held accountable in a manner that inconveniences or scares them, they will continue to abuse the public, whether from negligence, incompetence or malice. But bring it home to them, and they will (grudgingly) change their ways.
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
  • 6
    eightfingeredtypist I did something similar to that with plywood in 1990. The phones were set up so you couldn't call into my rural town from a payphone from anywhere else in the county. I couldn't call home form work.
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
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  • 7
    I wrote out a description of the problem in polite terms on the largest piece of plywood allowed by US Mail. I mailed it to the phone company executive offices in Boston. Someone from Boston called my house (I had given them the number) and told me they would fix it, and gave me a number to call at their office if it happened again. 4 385 Reply Share
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
  • 8
    compuhyperglobalmega I did something similar once. There was three lane road on my commute with several signal controlled intersections with small side streets. Every side street but one had a delayed trigger for the cross traffic, which was perfect because usually it was right turners (I live in a right-on- red state), so the signals wouldn't be triggered most of the time.
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
  • 9
    However, this one signal would instantly trigger the red light and cause major backups on the main road. I doubted it was a coincidence that the neighborhood connecting to the signal was wealthier than most, and a lot of city managers and elected officials lived there. After a few days of traffic delays, I took a deep dive into the city directory, and made some strategic phone calls. Finally found a tiny, obscurely- named department deep in the city maintenance division, and left a message:
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
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  • 10
    "Hey Bill, this is Judge Smith. I wanted to thank you for the signal change over on 1st and Grand. It really made the drive into court much easier. I have to apologize, though, and ask you to change it back to the old way. You see, my nanny comes from north Grand and is running into delays which made me late to court on Monday. It was worth a try, but I really think the other way was best. Give my thanks to Jim (his boss), and I'm really sorry for all the trouble." Signal timing was restored wit
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
  • 11
    Adventurous_Class_90 Chicago has metered lights as well. They adapt to traffic situations. Higher traffic means longer intervals. No traffic: the lights are just green. 74 Reply Share Maximum_Power4088 OP Not like that here...fixed timing 38 Reply Share
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
  • 12
    Summer_Rayne007 Here's the thing, a happy driver is a non-road raging driver. Why intentionally :ppl off who have metal manslaughter machines? Reply Share 131 lazarus908 Metal manslaughter machines. I'm using that. 48 ●●● Reply Share
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
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  • 13
    takemeawayfromit Having worked in government I can say that it is both incompetence and apathy. 28 Reply Share
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088
  • 14
    DJBerryman As someone who lives in a city where most of our traffic problems are due to the lights, I take my hat off to you, this is fantastic 45+ Reply Share
    Via u/Maximum_Power4088

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Traffic Jam pro revenge commute petty-revenge-reddit malicious compliance revenge revenge-stories petty revenge stuck in traffic revenge-stories-reddit traffic

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