‘You have to block her forever’: Jealous Wife Forces Husband To Choose Between Her And Sabotaging Female Friend After She Bad Mouths Their Marriage

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Feb 1, 2024 12:00 PM EST

Jealousy can get to us all. Whether we're in the relationship, out of it, or somehow involved, things can get messy with jealousy. I know I've been in situations with a jealous friend over me dating the one they love. It's a big yikes moment for everyone when you realize there's something fishy about the 'friend' your guy was talking about. And ladies, we know we see things the men don't. Lady to lady, we know when they like us, we know when they don't like us, and we know when they're trying to sabotage our relationship, albeit to the man's ignorance. 

Are they really ignorant, or do they just not know how to handle sticky situations? We don't know, but we do know that any time a man makes his boundaries clear and tells someone the hard truth, it's manly and respectable. Nothing is more infantile than a man hiding behind excuses and saying 'they didn't know' when they really did. So ladies, get yourself a real man who can express the hard truths to keep your relationship secure. Or stay single. 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/throwaway-kyl125e3 14 hours ago AITAH to ask my husband to block his female friend who warned him not to marry me?
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 02
    I (26F) want my husband (27M) to immediately block one of his friends Kyla (27F). He thinks I am overreacting, and wants opinions from some cool- headed people on if I am just acting crazy, or this is something that would cross the line for you.
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 03
    My husband has a group of 8 friends he is close with since his college days. Kyla is one of his friends. When my husband and I started dating, he introduced me to all of them, and everyone was very friendly. I used to hang out with them
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 04
    frequently. I am an introvert, and so is my husband. I would always ask him to spend time alone as being in social settings just saps all my energy away. His friends, and especially Kyla always made it a point to tell me how he hangs out with
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 05
    them less after he started dating me. Kyla also had a weird energy around me. If I was with my husband, she would be the most friendliest with me. However, as soon as he walked away, she acted like I did not exist. My
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 06
    husband hates to be touched by others (we both are ND), but Kyla would always tease him by trying to hug him, mess his hair, etc. I never felt she was flirting with him, but just teasing him to make him annoyed. Overall, she just feels like a
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 07
    person who has a severe social boundary issue. We got married two years ago, and things have been great between us. Last week, we had our second marriage anniversary and invited a bunch of people. His friends stayed back
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 08
    after all the guests left, and we were all drinking and chatting. One of his friends Jen became a bit tipsy and started complimenting me on how beautiful our house is, how I care for my husband, and how he has
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 09
    changed for the better since marriage. Everyone was laughing at my husband at how much of a slob he was when is was single. Jen then pointed at Kyla and said, "You better pay up, coz you had bet that their marriage would not even last for two
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 10
    years". Everyone became silent and started changing the topic. I also did not want to spoil the mood, and let it go, but it stuck in my head. After everyone left, I asked my husband what Jen was talking about. He also had
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 11
    noticed Jen saying that and was ready with a full explanation. He told me the story of what happened when we got engaged. When he proposed to me, he had not told his friends that he was going to do that. We went on a trip to Puerto
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 12
    Rico, and he surprised me there. We put our engagement pictures on Instagram while we were on the trip, and it was a big surprise to everyone as we were only dating for 1 year. When he came back and met all his friends, everyone
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 13
    congratulated him. However, Kyla started ranting about how he was a fool to propose so quickly, and she felt that I was not the right girl for him. Seems like she said some unkind things about me implying I was a gold-
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 14
    digger. My husband's family is wealthy, but so is mine. She had said that she bet we would break up within two years if we got married. That is why Jen was taunting her about how happy my husband was with me.
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 15
    I was very furious at this point, as I feel this is something he should have told me. I asked him to tell me truthfully if he had ever dated Kyla or had any history with her as he has always told me that he has never dated anyone from his friend group. He said
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 16
    that he has of course not dated or hooked up with Kyla. However, Kyla had asked him out a few times when they were in college, and he always politely declined. I asked why is said no to her, and he said he just does not have any romantic feelings for her. I
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 17
    can see that because my husband does have a "type" based on me or the other people he has dated in the past, and Kyla is the opposite of that. I am just mad at her for saying bad things about me, especially after
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 18
    knowing that we were already engaged and betting against my marriage. I told my husband that he needs to minimize contact with Kyla and she is not invited to parties at our house anymore. He feels I am being too harsh for
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 19
    something she said almost 3 years ago. He also pointed out that, she has been very supportive to both of us, and also helped a lot during our wedding arrangements. He feels she is just blunt and forthright when she speaks, but does not mean
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 20
    those things. He told me to take some time and calm down, and we would revisit this topic in a week. He is worried this will completely change the dynamics within his friend group.
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 21
    Am I the AH for wanting him to block her and stop inviting her to our house? Do you think I am overreacting? I think betting against our marriage and bad- mouthing me behind my back seems like a huge
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 22
    betrayal. I am also mad at my husband that he kept this fact from me, and also never told me that Kyla asked him out during college days. Am I just being crazy and reactive? How would you react in this situation? I don't want to distance my husband
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 23
    to distance my husband from his friends, but I also do not want to see that Kyla's face again.
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 24
    Ok_Perception1131 · 13 hr. ago ΝΤΑ I probably wouldn't be that bothered if someone, at the time of my engagement, didn't think it would last. It's not
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 25
    uncommon for someone to think that and be pleasantly surprised when the marriage works out. What would bother me is that she
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 26
    clearly has feelings for your husband and, rather than keeping them to herself (because he's married and not interested), she's expressing her feelings by flirting with your
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 27
    husband and icing you out when he's not around. Your husband should have put a stop to that nonsense a LONG time ago. However, I'm giving him the
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 28
    benefit of the doubt by thinking maybe he's clueless and doesn't notice, plus she's been only cold to you when he's not around. HOWEVER, once
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 29
    you pointed out her behavior to him and explained it was making you uncomfortable, he should have stood up for you. That means he should have had a discussion with her
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 30
    in which HE states "I've noticed your touching me, etc and it makes me uncomfortable. Also, you're only friendly with my wife when I'm around. I'd like these behaviors to
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 31
    stop. If they don't stop, I won't hang out with you anymore." Note that he needs to state that HE's noticed these things and HE'D like it to stop; he shouldn't try to put
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 32
    the blame on you by saying "My wife doesn't like..." He needs to man up and stand up for you, his wife. And if she doesn't comply, then he should follow through and cut
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 33
    her out of his life. My husband has a former coworker who seemed (to me) to be stalking him on social media. He immediately said he would block
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 34
    her. I told him he didn't need to (it wasn't a big deal, we never see her in person anyway) but he blocked her anyway, as he said he didn't want me to ever feel uncomfortable and
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 35
    that my feelings are more important to him than the feelings of a former coworker. This is what your husband should be telling you: that he cares more about your
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 36
    happiness than the happiness of another woman who is secretly hoping his marriage will fail because she's in love with him.
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 37
    Please show your husband the responses here.
    via u/Ok_Perception1131
  • 38
    Maladee 11 hr. ago · In addition, whatever Kyla said was a big enough scene that multiple people from the friend group remembered it 3 years later. And
    via u/Maladee
  • 39
    hubs had an explanation ready? Even if hubs is being totally truthful about the relationship, Kyla made a stink that lingered. ΝΤΑ.
    via u/Maladee
  • 40
    ElderberryJolly2813 12 hr. ago NTA - You don't have to entertain disrespect like that.
    via u/ElderberryJolly2813
  • 41
    klover_clover 12 hr. ago This is a really good response! He has to set those boundaries!
    via u/klover_clover
  • 42
    Mstrkaoz 12 hr. ago Perfect explanation. She's been into him for a long time. Your husband should come to realize this and either put a stop to it, or cut her off.
    via u/Mstrkaoz
  • 43
    deathteat 14 hr. ago INFO: How has kyla acted since the wedding? Has her behavior changed? You describe a bad behavior in the past tense, so one might believe she's not doing those things anymore. Does she still exhibit boundary issues with your husband?
    via u/deathteat
  • 44
    throwaway-kyl125e3 OP. 14 hr. ago Yes, her behavior with my husband has not changed at all after marriage. However, she is the same with all other friends too.
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 45
    With me, she is fake nice, where she acts like we are best friends in front of my husband, and barely talks to me when he is not around.
    via u/throwaway-kyl125e3
  • 46
    aspermyprevious 14 hr. ago NTA. Being "blunt" or "forthright," isn't a pass to be rude and contemptuous to your friend's SO. I consider myself forthright snd yet I can still use manners and tact. I would dump a friend who was so snakeish to my husband and I.
    via u/aspermyprevious

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