'You're better off as a housewife': Traditional Man Expects Girlfriend to Quit Job and Rely on Him Financially, in Which She Points Out That He Doesn't Make Enough Money and Belittles His Manhood

When traditional roles are nonconsensually a part of any relationship, trouble can erupt. Back in the day, it was standard for men to work and make money, and for women to stay at home raising the children and taking care of the house. A lot has changed since then, and ever since World War II, women have been taking up more and more jobs in the workforce. Due to economic constraints, cultural shifts, and female empowerment, women in the workforce isn't just common, it's necessary. It's not the 1950s anymore; for decades now, women have been deciding their own fate without the opinion of a man, and for good reason. 

If a man wants to dictate a woman's future, he's stifling her independence, autonomy, and power. These traditions can run strong with certain men, due to their occupation, upbringing, cultural background, etc. The important thing is to be aware of it, to uphold your own values and make them clear to whoever you may be seeing at the time.

Author image for Briana Viser Briana Viser
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  • 01
    Posted by u/Frosty-Fact-7693 23 hours ago AITAH for telling a man that I was not willing to be a housewife on his salary?
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  • 02
    I've been seeing this man for a few months and it's been good. We have fun and are quite compatible in most things. However, recently we were having a conversation about long term goals and where we see ourselves in 5 years.
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    He said he wanted to be married and have a couple kids in a couple of years, and have a housewife. He said he will feel like he has failed as a husband if his wife works. I said he should take into account that a lot of women actually have dreams and goals and his wife may not want to be a housewife. I said I
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  • 04
    wouldn't want to and especially not a full time SAHM. He was trying to convince me why it would be such a good idea for me to quit my job and just relax because I've been working since I was 16 and had no one to rely on but myself, have always had multiple jobs even in college and have never had time to just relax
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  • 05
    and not do anything. I said being a SAHM or even a housewife is not "relaxing" unless the husband is a millionaire who hires help. It's not just lounging around all day when chores and/or childcare need to be done.
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    I said I would consider it if he made so much money that my salary would seem like peanuts. I explained how although I do not admire this quality about myself, I'm someone who values comfort and convenience. I've had a very high paying job for a long time and I've gotten used to living a good life. I'm not going to
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    downgrade my lifestyle just because it will allow me to stay home and not have a job. Nothing about being unemployed and living an average life sounds appealing to me. I like being able to afford the lifestyle I've dreamt of having as a child growing up in poverty, and I'm not going to allow myself
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  • 08
    to downgrade for something that isn't a good enough reason to me. We live in the UK. I work for a foreign company so they pay me a lot more than the standard salary here but he earns about £35k a year. He believes he can comfortably have a housewife
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    with that salary. I said maybe he can, but that housewife will not be me. We would not be able to live a good life on his salary and I would not be happy. If we both worked and combined our incomes, we could live a really good life instead of living an average life on his salary only.
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    He wasn't speaking to me much in the days after that conversation and I understood. He probably didn't think we were all that compatible. However, he called me yesterday and got into a 15 minute rant about how I went out of my way to make him feel like and worthless by pointing out that I make more than him and I wouldn't want to
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  • 11
    be a housewife on his salary. I said that I was being honest about what I wanted and I shouldn't have to lie about these things. I said we should both be glad we had that conversation and realised we aren't as compatible as we thought so we don't waste each others time. He called me shallow and rude for
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    called me shallow and rude for this. I don't really think I said anything outrageous but sometimes being too blunt does make me look rude and mean. AITAH?
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    JustNKayce. 20 hr. ago I said maybe he can, but that housewife will not be me. Good answer! NTA
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  • 14
    westofme 12 hr. ago Yeah, dodge the bullet, get the out. You don't want a man with this level of insecurity in your life. I agree with you. Why would you want to downgrade your
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    lifestyle so that you guys can have a family just to make him feel better about himself? Family has always been about a two- way street. What works for both not just one party. If I were you, I wouldn't
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    even entertain the second thought that perhaps he will change. I'm sure he can change but just not with you. NTA.
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  • 17
    TheSpiral119 hr. ago Exactly. I broke up with someone in my 20s over this. He didn't want me to work, but I already made more money than him and didn't see a point in giving up my lifestyle &
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    freedom for someone else's happiness. He ended up marrying someone who wanted to be a cop's housewife and I married someone who encouraged my ambitions, and I'm
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    sure we're both much happier now than if we stayed together. Life is too short to stay with someone whose goals are incompatible with yours.
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  • 20
    Carbonatite 6 hr. ago Dudes like this really need to take a hard look at what they bring to the table. What exactly was this dude offering that would make a high income professional woman
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    give up a fulfilling career and affluent lifestyle? Like I can't imagine the audacity. I wish I had that kind of confidence.
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    TheSpiral11 - 4 hr. ago I think they're actively threatened by women with careers. I remember him picking fights whenever I had big work events coming up. Definitely felt like a bullet dodged.
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  • 23
    Curious_Ad_3614 4 hr. ago It's more like a delusion than confidence!!!
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    Substantial-Key7726. 6 hr. ago And American cops have a first marriage divorce rate around 100%. (Source: good friend who is a lawyer who negotiates police contracts).
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    OkEmergency3607 - 5 hr. ago My mom, who's been married to my dad for almost 60 years, (and they have one of those love-of-your-life relationships), always told me "it's great to have a man; but never need one.
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Tags

manhood 1950s traditional relationships finances feminism lol housewife love reddit thread red flag Reddit funny gender roles dating
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