'You used this song before - with your ex': Boyfriend Recycles Love Song, Dedicating It to New Girlfriend Despite It Being Played At His Previous Wedding

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 6, 2024 9:00 AM EST

How does one choose their wedding song? 

It feels like a crucial decision not only for the wedding but for the relationship you have with the person you're marrying. The song both people walk down the aisle to has to be romantic, meaningful, moving, and appropriate. I know there are millions of songs out there, but it still seems like a hard decision to make.

This is why I get how weird it would be if you found out that the song your boyfriend has introduced to you as 'our song', is the song from his and his ex-wife's wedding. Which is what is told in this Reddit story. OP found the song in question on her boyfriend's wedding playlist from his previous marriage, and now he is just reusing it with his new girlfriend. Kind of a red flag I'd say.

OP came to Reddit for some relationship advice, and Reddit provided. So scroll down for the full story and the helpful commentary. When you are done with those, click here for a story of a family who fails to support daughter with her career choices, leading to family drama at dinner. 

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  • 01
    I just found out "our song" he showed me was actually his and his ex-wife's wedding song, too. 24 F, 26 M
    via u/fledermauss
  • 02
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months now and I just found his Spotify (I'm trying to do something musical for his valentines gift and wanted to see what he's listening to). I thought it
    via u/fledermauss
  • 03
    would be cute to see what he listens to, so I was scrolling through his playlists. One of them is listed "wedding". Now, about 8 months before he met me he divorced his ex wife. She cheated on him, it was ugly. (I've always
    via u/fledermauss
  • 04
    been worried he hasn't moved on, self esteem issues, blah blah blah). I click on the playlist, curious. The first song on that playlist is the same song he introduced to me three months
    via u/fledermauss
  • 05
    ago. He called it our song, the song he listens to when he thinks about me. I thought it was so personal and intimate and romantic at the time, sometimes when we cuddled or talked in the car he would play it. And it's his
    via u/fledermauss
  • 06
    old wedding song from 3 years ago. Seriously, what the actual ?? I don't want to bring this up to him but I'm so miffed right now. Actually, the more I type, the more betrayed I feel. Music is a huge part of my life. He knows
    via u/fledermauss
  • 07
    that. That was a big thing for him to give me- our song. I've felt replaceable in the relationship before. Now it feels confirmed. Earlier today I was brainstorming
    via u/fledermauss
  • 08
    valentines gifts, and I thought about playing this song on the guitar for him. I feel so sick. What the do I do?
    via u/fledermauss
  • 09
    Edit: to a third of you, thank you for your well thought out and balanced answers. I'll bring it up, because communication is the only solution to this. Some of y'all
    via u/fledermauss
  • 10
    have tons of relationship experience and are hella reflecting. God speed. I'll let you guys know what he says.
    via u/fledermauss
  • 11
    Bookaholicforever. 22 hr. ago Tell him. His reaction will tell you whether you stay or go
    via u/Bookaholicforever
  • 12
    fledermauss OP 21 hr. ago Best comment. Thank you.
    via u/fledermauss
  • 13
    Babshearth 21 hr. ago My current bf of a few years suggested some special trip including a specific and historic hotel - and I learned that this was a trip he did with his late wife. I told him I don't want to
    via u/Babshearth
  • 14
    relive experiences he had with her. In that moment he realized how weird it was. That was it - never brought up again. I think he just loves the song and does think of you now but
    via u/Babshearth
  • 15
    it's definitely cringy. I do t think this is break up worthy unless there's other evidence he's trying to re-live his past substituting you.
    via u/Babshearth
  • 16
    maeerin789 22 hr. ago Girl I'd be out of there so fast. If a couple decides on a song that's "their's", it should be personal and specific to that relationship. Very weird that
    via u/maeerin789
  • 17
    he'd try to manufacture that kind of dynamic with the same song in multiple relationships. And he played it at his ACTUAL WEDDING WITH HIS EX
    via u/maeerin789
  • 18
    tabchoo 22 hr. ago I had an ex do this, let it go for awhile. He tried TURNING ME INTO HER, and I LET HIM because I was unaware for so long.
    via u/tabchoo
  • 19
    Met his family and they were like "she looks just like (ex) with her hair and the same style" the hairstyle HE SUGGESTED AND DRESS HE PICKED OUT.
    via u/tabchoo
  • 20
    ScorpioLibraPisces - 23 hr. ago I know so many guys who reuse stuff from their previous relationships, it's odd. They don't think there's anything weird about it.
    via u/ScorpioLibraPisces
  • 21
    Indigocell 17 hr. ago They're strategizing. "It worked before, it will work again" lol.
    via u/Indigocell
  • 22
    Hungry_Blood_3949 · 1 day ago It's weird AF, not gonna lie. BUT you should talk to him and tell him how hurt you are. Don't just bite your tongue. See what he has to say. You can always break up with him if his answer hurts you more, but be an adult and have a conversation.
    via u/Hungry_Blood_3949
  • 23
    busybeaver1980 - 1 day ago Surely there's like 100 songs on that playlist? It might just be a song he really likes but not associate with his ex. Seriously. I seriously had 5 hours worth of a playlist at my wedding and the only song that is "our" song is the one I walked down the aisle to.
    via u/busybeaver1980
  • 24
    fledermauss OP. 1 day ago There were 10 :)
    via u/fledermauss
  • 25
    edit_thanxforthegold. 21 hr. ago I have a "wedding song ideas" playlist that has maybe 15 songs on it. Only one or two are actually meaningful to my partner and I. There are a bunch he'd never heard of. Ask him about it.
    via u/edit_thanxforthegold
  • 26
    SalannB 23 hr. ago There are MILLIONS of songs. Out of those millions, he chooses that particular one as their song?! Yeah, NO.
    via u/SalannB
  • 27
    Primary-Lion-6088. 20 hr. ago So any song that was played at his last wedding is off limits? We don't even know if it actually was, btw.
    via u/Primary-Lion-6088
  • 28
    Hot 1 day ago Development_9581. Tell him you and him have a new song. It's called Goodbye.
    via u/Hot_Development_9581
  • 29
    Firm_Ideal_5256 · 23 hr. ago "Thank you, next” from Ariana Grande
    via u/Firm_Ideal_5256
  • 30
    DivinitySousVide . 1 day ago While I understand your feelings here, it might just be a song he strongly associates with love, so now he associates it with you.
    via u/DivinitySousVide

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boyfriend love song relationship advice song wife relationship-drama reddit story relationships girlfriend wedding advice love Reddit dating dating advice
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