'This guy is a huge financial liability': Reckless boyfriend spends $42k on new car while asking girlfriend for help with rent

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 11, 2024 3:00 PM EST

I've never been a car girl. I see cars as a means to an end, and I don't get excited about what they look like or how much money they cost. The few times I've gotten into a Tesla (they've been Ubers) I'm always confused about where the door handle is and make a fool of myself trying to get in. Sorry, that expensive car is not worth it if anybody I drive in it will feel stupid! So I will never truly understand the people who go out of their way for the best and the fastest cars, especially if they are having a hard time with rent. 

That's exactly what happened in this recent story from Reddit about a (what seems to me like a nightmare) relationship between a car guy and the woman supporting him. Combining finances as a couple is a tricky territory, and maybe this couple isn't cut out for it. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Sad-Hold7262 • 21h AITA for cancelling our apartment signing after I found out that my bf bought an expensive car?
    via u/Sad-Hold7262
  • 02
    My bf(31M) and I(28F) have been together for just over 2 years. We have been living with roommates and been looking to move in for a while. It's expensive and I have a dog so it's been difficult finding a landlord that would be ok with a dog. My friend has been moving out and she has a dog to and is willing to sublet for us. The landlord said they are ok with signing us if we want to stay after the 8 month sublet. It's a fairly good price near work so I'm happy with it. We went through the credi
    via u/Sad-Hold7262
  • 03
    He already has a "daily driver" but wants a "weekend car" which I personally find ridiculous why anyone needs 2 cars. He has a Honda Accord that is fine and he has never complained about problems with it. But he recently said he bought another car. He isn't the best with money. He really likes to spend till the last dollar and doesn't have any savings. I've had to bail him out twice on rent, we both pay around $1100 plus utilities and he makes around 70k a year so he should have savings but he d
    via u/Sad-Hold7262
  • 04
    So I wasn't really happy that he did that but I didn't realize he bought such an expensive car. He didn't show it to me until Sat when he picked me up in a Corvette. I don't know what model it is but I asked him how much it was and he said it wasn't my business and I was off he bought a clearly expensive car. He admitted later because I refused to let it go it was 42k and he had traded in the Honda. Even then his payments are almost $800 a month. I was so mad he did that especially because he as
    via u/Sad-Hold7262
  • 05
    I called my friend and apologized and told her I can't sign the lease and she said she was ok with it. I hadn't paid the deposit yet thankfully and my roommate is ok with me staying so I'm good. But my bf lease is ending and the landlord wants him out so he is mad at me cancelling us moving in together because now he still needs to move and will probably be paying more than if we moved in together. He yelled at me for butting in on his business saying it's not my business what he buys. I think t
    via u/Sad-Hold7262
  • 06
    Sarissa32 21h Aficionado [15] NTA. He hasn't paid you back for the times you've had to cover his rent but it's not your business that he buys himself a Corvette?!? WHY keep dating this man? You clearly can't trust him.
    via u/Sarissa32
  • 07
    Sad-Hold7262 OP • 21h He paid me back but he said he would pay me as soon as payday comes around and he didn't pay me back fully until months after I lent him the money. We are compatible if not for the finances and I guess I'm hoping he will change on that so we can still be together. I know it's not likely but I guess | don't want to breakup because of money. But I'm not willing to move in until he changes
    via u/Sad-Hold7262
  • 08
    Mukeli1584. 21h Partassipant [2] Word of caution in that people rarely change their behavior with money. It was smart of you to hold off on moving into a new place with him, but stick to your position when it comes to spending habits. I'm a big believer that in most healthy relationships, money between partners is seen as a communal/joint resource as time goes on and big purchases are made by consensus.
    via u/Mukeli1584
  • 09
    Murky_Tale_1603 - 20h Partassipant [1] Agree that it was smart for OP to not move in with him. Honestly concerned about his reaction regarding "his finances" and how she has no say, but she's paying for a bunch of his ??? Yea, no easy way to say this, but he isn't gonna change. He's mad at op cause his fantasy of easy living on the couch playing video games while she works and pays for everything just went up in smoke. Who needs a corvette FFS? Super impractical car. And how is that his "weekend
    via u/Murky_Tale_1603
  • 10
    mdthomas 21h Sultan of Sphincter [607] He admitted later because I refused to let it go it was 42k and he had traded in the Honda. Even then his payments are almost $800 a month. I was so mad he did that especially because he asked me to cover part of his share of the apartment security deposit a week before he bought the car. He isn't the best with money. He really likes to spend till the last dollar and doesn't have any savings. I've had to bail him out twice on rent, He paid me back but it wa
    via u/mdthomas
  • 11
    icarusancalion • 21h Partassipant [4] Money is something that breaks up relationships. It's clear the two of you are incompatible in your attitudes towards money: you think he should save, he thinks money is for spending. He's blurry about the lines between your money and his money (or he wouldn't have asked you to cover for him while not mentioning he was buying an expensive car). It's a good call to not move in with him. NTA
    via u/icarusancalion
  • 12
    OkeyDokey654 • 21h Enthusiast [8] NTA. I was so mad he did that especially because he asked me to cover part of his share of the apartment security deposit a week before he bought the car. This is when it became your business.
    via u/OkeyDokey654
  • 13
    NanaLeonie • 21h NTA. Just under $800 car payment, who knows how much for insurance and maintenance and he only earns $70K. Is that net or gross. He couldn't afford the rent on that apartment. You did the right thing to walk away from being trapped in an apartment rental with him.
    via u/NanaLeonie
  • 14
    Major Barnacle_2212 • 21h Supreme Court Just- [140] You just dodged a bullet. Good for you for ensuring you aren't forced to supplement his lifestyle just because he's spends his money down to the last drop. I've been there, and eventually wrote off the debt my boyfriend left me in as a lesson learned in red flags. You saw the signs and got out! ΝΤΑ
    via u/Major_Barnacle_2212
  • 15
    Major_Barnacle_2212 • 21h Supreme Court Just- [140] You just dodged a bullet. Good for you for ensuring you aren't forced to supplement his lifestyle just because he's spends his money down to the last drop. I've been there, and eventually wrote off the debt my boyfriend left me in as a lesson learned in red flags. You saw the signs and got out! ΝΤΑ
    via u/Major_Barnacle_2212
  • 16
    etds3 • 20h Colo-rectal Surgeon [36] You can't combine finances or obligations in any way with this man. He has already proven that he will make irresponsible decisions and dump them on you. You can't ever move in with him without becoming his ATM. Marriage or kids are completely off the table if you want to remain financially solvent. Is this really what you want, OP?
    via u/etds3
  • 17
    Running Drinksy • 20h If he's getting a fancy pantsy Corvette now, imagine what he'll do when he goes through a midlife crisis
    via u/RunningDrinksy
  • 18
    justgetoffmylawn • 18h Two Corvettes. At the same time.
    via u/justgetoffmylawn

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boyfriend long term relationship relationship advice aita relationship spending relationship status am i the asshole relationships girlfriend finances couples reddit thread Reddit money toxic relationship
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