‘What’s going on here?': Dating Discussion Ensues When Dude Asks Internet Why His Girl Is Still Updating Her Dating Apps

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Feb 12, 2024 11:00 AM EST

One very distressed dude took to r/Tinder after finding out that the girl he was dating was (drum roll please)… updating her dating apps.

We've all been there. You really hit it off with someone, and see them frequently for a couple of weeks. You grab Taco Bell together, do fun stuff in the bedroom, and drink your way to the moon and back. Suddenly you're holding hands, taking midday walks in the park on the weekend, and you think you must be exclusive. So you decide to delete your dating app and boom, you notice that this lovely human being you've been seeing for a while has ADDED new pictures and changed their bio.

It stings, it really does. Been there, done that. Scroll down to read about this young man's predicament, and what the internet had to say about it. Then, check out these Lord of the Rings memes, because honestly, who doesn't love LOTR?

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  • 01
    "The girl I'm dating is still updating her dating apps..."
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/Tinder 1 day ago LilShrimpDaddy Girl still updating her dating apps.. Met a girl from hinge about 3 weeks ago, we went on our first date & we both agreed it went very well. We started hanging out a lot, going to dinner, activities and also began hooking up. I've told her I'm interested in her and I don't have any interest in
    via u/LilShrimpDaddy
  • 03
    talking to anyone else from here on, and she agreed. She texts me all the time, calls me her man and says things like "I always feel so appreciated when ur with me" "I miss u and can't wait to see you" I made it clear, so I decided to delete my apps, (which I hadn't been using at all anyways) I was curious to see her profile before I deleted the app and she's still casually adding new pictures that she just sent me literally yesterday, and adding in new quotes and whatnot. Am I overthinking this
    via u/LilShrimpDaddy
  • 04
    LilShrimpDaddy OP • 1d ago Also, I'd love to hear from some women. Getting to hear from a different point of view definitely helps. 587 Share Reply sarahtita 1d ago Edited 15h ago I'm a woman and if I'm still updating my pics and profile, it's because I am still using it and am not really into the person I am seeing. It's a bad sign when someone you're seeing is updating their profile.
    via u/LilShrimpDaddy, u/sarahtita
  • 05
    I was seeing this guy regularly for a month when I noticed he updated a pic of himself. I asked if the new pic was giving him more matchs and he responded << not really >>... And then we talked and he admitted he didn't really see a future for us... I should have known when I saw the profile update ;) Reply 1.3K Share ...
    via u/sarahtita
  • 06
    Delicious_Stock_4659 • 20h ago Someone once told me after 2 dates that he deactivated all of his accounts. I felt pressured. I wanted to see where this was going before deleting anytjing When I met my current bf, I wasn't interested in talking to anybody else after date nr 2. I didn't want to waste my time getting notifications I wasn't interested in anymore and I didn't want to waste anyones 0.5 deconds to swipe right on me. Both of us deactivated our accounts and deleted the apps. I'm almost 4
    via u/Delicious_Stock_4659
  • 07
    Either_will_1000 • 22h ago I think I want to feel special and also want to give this feeling to someone I am dating. And updating the profile is the opposite of this. I am mindful of when I am dating someone to not update my pics and locations all the time. Well if I'm interested in someone, I also don't want to get new dates either. Reply Share 43
    via u/Either_Will_1000
  • 08
    Valuable_Intern_9394 Woman here. There is zero reason she would be updating her profile if she was super into you. When I'm really excited about a guy, I leave my profile or pause it. If I see his is updated, my heart sinks because I know what that means. It still might be worth a conversation with her before you pull the pin but I wouldn't expect a really good outcome. Sorry! • 14h ago 19 19 Reply Share
    via u/Valuable_Intern_9394
  • 09
    Desperate_Ad_7449 • 1d ago My girlfriend deleted tinder like three days after we matched, even before the first date. Lots of women are so tired of all the shenanigans on dating apps so they completely ignore or delete it once they find someone that they are really interested in. Yours doesn't sound like one of them Ⓒ ↑ 551 Reply Share
    via u/Desperate_Ad_7449
  • 10
    parkourman01 • 22h ago People saying 3 weeks is too short are saying it like it's a hard rule. I have been with my partner for almost 7 months now and in the first 3-4 weeks we had been in no joke probably 3-4 dates per week and I knew I had found my person by the 3-4 week mark. I told her I was deleting Hinge (I hadn't even looked at it since we met) and she said she had a couple of guys she had spoke to before meeting me that she just wanted to let down rather than ghosting them. She
    via u/parkourman01
  • 11
    deleted it a day or 2 after me. As I had deleted mine first I never checked but I am very focused on respecting peoples privacy and trusting them. You could see somebody for 6 months once every 2 weeks and have less of an idea how well you fit. It's about how much time you spend together rather than how many weeks or months you have been seeing each other imo. In regards to your situation, if she's still updating apps, it seems to me like she's not convinced you 2 are going to last yet and is ke
    via u/parkourman01
  • 12
    Conversation should be had and you should just say "look I've deleted mine, I know what i want, if you don't want the same that's fine, we can go our seperate ways" or whatever. Don't play games, just tell her the truth, and if it doesn't work, then you move on and find somebody else. 121 121 Reply Share
    via u/parkourman01
  • 13
    Nicky3004 • 1d ago 3 weeks is too short to commit. As mush as she enjoys spending time with you, you guys haven't had the exclusivity talk. She's still living her life having fun and you're still a new addition to her life that may not last. It also is probably too soon to have the commitment talk. You really have to build on more and go on dates more to ask that of her. 323 323 Reply 1 Share
    via u/Nicky3004
  • 14
    Jakeeagle1983 • 1d ago • Edited 1d ago In my experience even if you've only had one date and they updated their profile after the game is typically over. No matter what flattering things they said to me on the date. Just have fun and don't get emotionally invested too quickly. A lot of women pick up on this too when a man does it. ↑ 40 ↓ Reply ↑ Share
    via u/Jakeeagle1983
  • 15
    Gamechannel360 23h ago Edited 23h ago OP. I was in your situation once. Matched with a girl on bumble, had a great couple of dates. 2-3 weeks into going out, In one of our daily conversations I casually told her I focus on one person at a time as my life's extremely busy and dating multiple women is not only physically impossible for me but also mentally exhausting. She told me she likes to keep her options open and doesn't commit to one person until much later and I told her I'm fine with that.
    via u/Gamechannel360
  • 16
    she got pid at me when a bumble message notification popped up on my phone. I told her I had thought about what she had said about keeping her options open and it made sense that I do so too in case things don't progress between us. She didn't like that I was giving attention to other women but those were the rules she had established and I was only playing within those rules so she had no choice but to accept it. I asked her if she wants to be exclusive yet and she declined saying she's not the
    via u/Gamechannel360
  • 17
    laugh it off. A week or 2 later, I went out with this other girl, hit it off like crazy from the first minute and by the end of the 2nd date 3 days after the first, we both deleted our bumble together. I told the first girl I have met someone else and thanked her for her company. She was pied about it but if she wasn't ready to be exclusive after 2 months of dating, I doubt she'd ever be ready. And that was her choice which is to be respected. I just knew that if she doesn't feel a strong enough
    via u/Gamechannel360
  • 18
    Moral of the story: Keep your options open and if someone says something and does the opposite then she's not really into you and just likes the attention. Reply Share blindinglystupid • 18h ago You didn't do anything wrong. You had a conversation and played off the same field. The fact that she expected you to wait for her approval while she dated others is wholly inappropriate. I'm glad you found someone else. 14 ↓ 435 35 Reply Share
    via u/blindinglystupid
  • 19
    false-identification • 1d ago I remember in high school you would have a girlfriend for 3 months and ask, "Are we going to have s x?" Then you grow up and have with a girl for 3 months and ask, "Are you my girlfriend?" ✩ 5.4K Reply ↑ Share
    via u/false-identification
  • 20
    pineappleju1ce • 23h ago Update your dating profile with new pics. Reply ↑ Share 3.2K 3.2K cool420username 23h ago ... GIFan
    via u/pineappleju1ce, u/cool420username
  • 21
    webchemist 21h ago Don't just update with new pics, add a super recent pic w both of you together and put a smiley sticker over her face 890 + More replies Reply 1 Share Reply KryptoBones89 • 22h ago That's how you get a toxic relationship started with a real kick 4 392 ... Share
    via u/webchemist, u/KryptoBones89

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