'I don't have a bed there': Biological mother chides teenage daughter for not visiting despite not having a room or any pictures of her in her house

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Feb 18, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Some people are just not meant to be parents. It's a sad reality that so many kids have to deal with, and it's incredibly unfair to them. There are a lot of parents out there who care way more about being perceived as a loving, caring parent by the people in their community than actually doing the work of being said parent. It is much easier to masquerade on social media or play-act around your family, pretending to care deeply about your kid, than to put in the work of caring for them. 

One teenage girl recently took to Reddit to share her story of her biological mom doing precisely this. The teen lives full-time with her dad and mom and only sees her biological mom once a month. While at a party with her bio mom, she had to defend herself after being accused of never wanting to spend time with her.

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  • 01
    020 r/AmltheAsshole V u/biomombedroom - 17h ● AITA for telling my bio moms family that I don't visit because I don't have a bed there I've lived with my dad my entire life. He married my mom when I was 2 and she's all but adopted me (15f).
    via u/biomombedroom
  • 02
    My bio mom lives about 5 miles away with her husband and their kids (12f and 8m). I don't live with her, never have, and probably never will. I visit her sometimes, like once a month, but we both know she's not my mom. I've called her by her first name since I was like 5. I don't have a room or a bed at her house and there's no pictures of me in there.
    via u/biomombedroom
  • 03
    My bio mom talked me into going to some family party with her and her family. I don't know anyone there so I was mostly just hanging out with her while I was there. She started talking about how I never see her and it took an act of god to get me to go to this party so I told her to show them my room. She tried to show them her daughter's room so I said "no, that's Amanda's room, see the A by her bed?" and she was out of rooms after that because it's only a 2 bedroom house. She pulled me aside a
    via u/biomombedroom
  • 04
    said to stop and that I was making her look bad so we went back and I told her siblings that I wasn't allowed to talk about not having a bed at her house anymore because it makes her look bad. Apparently that wasn't good enough either because she tried telling me to give her my phone. I reminded her that she's not my mom then called my mom and told her to pick me up.
    via u/biomombedroom
  • 05
    My mom picked me up and she's really mad at my bio mom for all of this but my dad says it sucks but I should've taken it since im probably never gonna see these people again. im not in trouble but they can't agree whether I was right or wrong so I wanted to know if I was the
    via u/biomombedroom
  • 06
    savinathewhite. 16h Enthusiast [9] NTA. She wanted to put up a facade about your relationship for her guests. You showed them the truth. You didn't make her look bad - she made herself look bad. If she didn't want to feel embarrassed she could have 1.) not brought it up to her guests 2.) done the bare minimum of getting you an air mattress for your visits. 3.) bought bunk beds or a Murphy bed. Maybe tell her you won't do overnight visits, or just avoid visits until she makes some actual effort i
    via u/savinathewhite
  • 07
    biomombedroom OP • 16h She doesn't want me to visit, she just wants to complain that I never do to her family ... ↑ 4.5k
    via u/biomombedroom
  • 08
    Threadheads • 16h Partassipant [3] Then she brought this upon herself. If she wants to make up lies about you to make herself look better and you worse she can't expect you to play along. 41.8k 1.8k
    via u/Threadheads
  • 09
    DragonCelica 14h Aficionado [14] Bio mom: "Why won't you let me sound like a long suffering mother who can never get her beloved daughter to visit? Sure, maybe I speak poorly of you and the people you love as an excuse, but what about meeeeeee?" OP was expected to be nothing more than a prop at that gathering. Fortunately, she has a wonderful mom who actually cares how she feels, standing alongside her with unwavering support. 4731
    via u/DragonCelica
  • 10
    Curiobizz 17h Partassipant [2] NTA but why would you keep contact with your bio mom if she doesn't even treat you like her own daughter? I would go NC. You have a father and a mother - your family is complete. Reply 1.3k
    via u/Curiobizz
  • 11
    • 15h yannya1994 Partassipant [1] probably custody court stuff is my first guess. the visits are once a month now that OP is older, but it sounds like bio mom would raise a fit if OP cut off contact for good. but since OP is 15, a judge could probably say they're old enough to decide if they want to stop seeing their bio mom. 4457 ...
    via u/yannya
  • 12
    Environmental_Art591. 15h All OP has to tell the judge is "I don't have a bed at egg donors house let alone my own room" to get their attention. 的 345 凸
    via u/Environmental_Art591
  • 13
    Nerdygirl1984 - 16h NTA, Did your bio mom expect you to actually lie to make her look like a good mom? You don't owe her anything. I can only imagine what she was telling that side of the family before this party. Also you going back and telling them you weren't allowed to talk about not having a bed at her house anymore made me laugh. That was perfect!!! Reply 798
    via u/Nerdygirl1984
  • 14
    Mr_Pink_Gold - 16h Enthusiast [5] Edit: NTA! So much NTA... Giving her your phone you mean your number? She asked for your number? Reply 4315 ...
    via u/Mr_Pink_Gold
  • 15
    biomombedroom OP. 16h No. She wanted to take my phone because I was being rude ↑ 467
    via u/biomombedroom
  • 16
    Mr_Pink_Gold - 16h Enthusiast [5] The audacity of that b... (Can't swear on this sub). Edit: what did your dad mean by "should've taken it..." Edit2: nvm. Taken the abuse. No OP you shouldn't have. You did absolutely what you should do when a self righteous bully tries to grandstand using you as a stool. ... 4309
    via u/Mr_Pink_Gold
  • 17
    Project Journeyman • 15h As a safety issue, she cannot be allowed to touch your phone. You're old enough to have such a device to be able to contact your parents at any time. She's not a custodial parent and basically just a near stranger trying to steal your phone which would leave you vulnerable. If she wanted a deeper relationship {or even to just look good to her friends) then trying to take your phone wasn't the right move. ... 4 116 116
    via u/ProjectJourneyman
  • 18
    Ok-Ebb4485 • 16h Certified Proctologist [28] Give me a break! Your bio mom is downright despicable. She complains you don't spend enough time with her and yet she has the audacity to not provide you a bedroom? Not to mention there isn't a single picture of you in the house! OP, you are absolutely NTA. But you and your parents will absolutely be raging if you continue to have this rude, selfish woman in your life. Time to go NC and move on. Like yesterday. Reply 221 ...
    via u/Ok-Ebb4485

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teenager mother crazy things parents say bad parenting moms reddit story parenting reddit thread parent Reddit mom Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS
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