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15 of the "Best" FMLs According to the FML Community

Posted by mattstaff
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  • 1
    Text - Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML 6469 1 Tagree, your life sucks You deserved it 70340
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  • 2
    Text - Confession Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since l couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML 4667 148 I agree, your life sucks 67613 You deserved it
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  • 3
    Text - Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 77710 913 You deserved it 63881
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  • 4
    Text - Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML 5756 1 I agree,your life sucks You deserved it 97457
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  • 5
    Text - Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML 5093 T agree, your life sucks You deserved it 35948
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  • 6
    Text - Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML Tagree, your life sucks 5403 You deserved it 45795
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  • 7
    Text - Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML T agree, your life sucks 5256 517 51916 You deserved it
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  • 8
    Text - Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML I agree, your life sucks 12568 47 You deserved it 139721
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  • 9
    Text - Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. EML. T agree,your life sucks 5426 0 You deserved it 44287
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  • 10
    Text - Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 7232 1363 You deserved it 484332
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  • 11
    Text - Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML Tagree, your life sucks 3452 423 You deserved it 36747 Confession
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  • 12
    Text - Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML 31699 Tagree, your life sucks 37981 You deserved it
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  • 13
    Text - Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML I agree,your life sucks 6250 2 775749 You deserved it
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  • 14
    Text - Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML 42102 0 I agree,your life sucks You deserved it 45360
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  • 15
    Text - Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML T agree, your life sucks 4001 452 You deserved it 21145
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