'This is going on your permanent record': 20+ lies kids were told by their parents and teachers

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Feb 29, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Sure, it's true that kids will do and say crazy things, but let's take a look at all the crazy things parents and teachers say to them. Perhaps craziness begets craziness. After all, and this will annoy all the anti-musical theater folks out there, but it was Stephen Sondheim who said "children will listen." If you tell an impressionable eight year old that toilets are evil creatures trying to swallow you whole, that eight year old may very well believe you. And what happens when they believe you? Let's just say that kid may not be using the bathroom for the foreseeable future. 

Many of these folks did not realize that the lies they were told at such a young age were, in fact, untrue. It often took a shocking revelation or a painfully embarrassing moment for the truth to come out. These Redditors, who shared the worst lies they were ever told via the following r/AskReddit thread, are thankfully proof that the truth does ultimately reveal itself… although it may not be for some time. For more stories like this, here is a compilation of passive-aggressive compliments.

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  • 01
    r/AskReddit Posted by u/DrixzLmao 8 hours ago D What is the worst lie you've been told your whole life?
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  • 02
    Wack_iscrAck. 8 hr. ago That jobs would look at my middle/high school discipline records. 6.8k Reply Share
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  • 03
    jeaf420 8 hr. ago My friend was helping her boyfriend when his dad discovered he had cancer. He was distraught and went home often. It put a pretty big strain on their relationship. Finally, his father succumbed and passed away. He broke up with her shortly after. Five days later she got a call FROM HIS DEAD FATHER asking if everything was okay between the two of them. The father never even had cancer. He made the whole thing up. 5.4k Reply Share
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  • 04
    Hello-from-Mars128 8 hr. ago Your father wouldn't do that. 2.3k Reply Share
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  • 05
    Anubis1958 8 hr. ago Its fixed in the next release 2.2k Reply Share
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  • 06
    CunningRunt edited 25 min. ago 8 hr. ago Something something something THIS IS GOING ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD something something something... EDIT: 2000 internet points for this one lol... 2.1k Reply Share
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  • 07
    Moon_Jewel90. 8 hr. ago You will get a job based on your merits. Found out it's not the case at times - it's who you know, not what you know. ↑ 1.7k ⇓ Reply Share
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  • 08
    SleepyHead85. 8 hr. ago Work hard and it'll pay off. 1.1k Reply Share
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  • 09
    brekekekekx. 8 hr. ago unsubscribe link in the emails Reply Share 1.1k
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  • 10
    Ugliest Disability. 8 hr. ago "We're like a family." - multiple companies I have worked for. 1.1k ↓ Reply Share
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  • 11
    AphrodisiaMystique · 8 hr. ago Parents know best. Sure. Glad I stopped listening otherwise I would end up deeply miserable.
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  • 12
    deejahere 8 hr. ago Money doesn't buy happiness ↑ 838 Reply Share
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  • 13
    Immediate_Shine_4415 · 8 hr. ago My dad told me when I was a kid that toilets are the work of devil and that the toilets want my as a joke, i used to be scared of toilets until I was 8 or 9 lol
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  • 14
    Ok_Psychology7527 . 8 hr. ago My older sister told me that I was adopted huh 523 ♡ Reply Share
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  • 15
    Mr-Ginny. 8 hr. ago That we wouldn't have calculators in our pockets all the time. Reply Share 500 ...
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  • 16
    YaMama2612 . 7 hr. ago Getting a university degree would eventually make me better off than my friends who would become tradesmen 434 Reply Share
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  • 17
    Erudito1312 8 hr. ago When i was a kid, waking up for school in the morning was a torture for both me and my mom. I remember one time, after yet another almost histerical pleading to let me sleep, I asked her - does it get easier to get up early in the morning once you grow up? And she said YES, after which went to sleep herself lol... To this day i consider it to be the biggest and most brutal lie ive ever encountered :( 256 Reply Share
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  • 18
    Ed_Simian 8 hr. ago "You'll find someone." 160 ↓ Reply Share
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  • 19
    Desseues 7 hr. ago that there's a hot neighbor nearby waiting to meet me 103 Reply Share
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  • 20
    Admirable_Mirror6823 · 5 hr. ago People say that life is better after college.
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  • 21
    81Ranger 8 hr. ago "There's someone for everyone" "Hard work will be rewarded"
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FAILS school lies askreddit parenting reddit thread Reddit funny Parenting Fail parents dating
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