Freeloading boyfriend refuses to pay $120 for gas money, expects girlfriend to be his chauffeur: 'Why is a 36M still working part-time and without a car?'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 8, 2024 9:00 PM EST

When you're in a relationship, sharing finances can spell trouble. Money remains one of the top reasons that couples fight with each other. Sure, it's nice to treat your partner every now and then, but when things get out of balance, feelings can easily get hurt. Things might float along easily if you happen to be in similar financial situations, but if you're not, then it's hard to figure out just how much to support each other. And if one of you falls on hard times, it can create a tough dynamic. 

It's also common to be in a negative situation that you think is normal until you start talking about it with other people. That's one thing Reddit is good for: it allows you to appear before a jury of your peers and let them tell you that you should probably break up with your boyfriend. Who needs friends anyway?

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/flatsoda-97 . 17h AITA for suggesting my minimum wage and part time boyfriend pay me back for half of my gas for taking him to and from work everyday?
    via u/flatsoda-97
  • 02
    My (27 F) boyfriend (36 M) of 8 years works at the Amazon distribution center and I am the one to give him rides to and from work, as he works overnights and I worked days. He does have a friend who takes him to work 1 time a week. I also take him to appointments when needed and to the gym daily. He does not have a car or license at this time due to several unpaid speeding and parking tickets.
    via u/flatsoda-97
  • 03
    So about 3 weeks ago I was laid off from my job in marketing. I was making about $55 an hour and holding things down at home with the mortgage and bills without any issues, so I never found it necessary to ask him for gas money to take him to work and home. I figure he works hard and doesn't get paid much so why make things worse for him? I fill up my gas tank about one time a week for $60. I understand that he is making only $16 an hour and working only about 24 hours per week. I am also privil
    via u/flatsoda-97
  • 04
    So on Thursday I asked him about paying to fill up my tank once every two weeks, and I'll pay the other two weeks, and he got really upset and told me how much easier life has been for me and how I take that for granted. He also says he doesn't have the money to pay $120 a month for gas (which is understandable because he only makes about $350 every week) even though I have been paying all the bills since we moved in together 4 years ago. I told him that I am not a free Uber service and I feel t
    via u/flatsoda-97
  • 05
    TL;DR I lost my decent paying job and am on unemployment and am asking my minimum wage part time work boyfriend whom is unlicensed to pay for the gas I use to pick him up now due to finances. AITA?
    via u/flatsoda-97
  • 06
    TerrifyinglyAlive . 16h Partassipant [2] Pleeeeaaase tell me he's not on the deed to your house. Can't keep a license because he drives irresponsibly and doesn't pay his fines, works minimum wage part time, thinks it's your responsibility to chauffeur him around and pay for the privilege, pays no bills, started a relationship with a teenager when he was almost thirty. He is not a winner. Edit: NTA
    via u/TerrifyinglyAlive
  • 07
    flatsoda-97 OP • 16h He is not on the deed! I bought this house before we moved in together and I was doing great with my job and making lots of money. This is partly why I am being so stingy about the money, I can't lose this house. He has asked to be put as an owner as well but I always brush it off because I know he wouldn't help me pay for it.
    via u/flatsoda-97
  • 08
    TerrifyinglyAlive. 16h Partassipant [2] Good for you! If you were my younger sister asking about this situation, I'd tell you to sit down and write two lists: everything this relationship gives you, and everything it costs you, whether that's materially or emotionally, and then consider how sound of an investment of your time, energy, and money it is for the future.
    via u/TerrifyinglyAlive
  • 09
    wordsmythy. 16h Pooperintendant [59] He's a 36-year-old grown- man only working part time because you've been footing ALL the bills for the past four years. Now he's got a sense of entitlement, outraged that you would dare to ask him to pay for the gas he's using. Now you're getting the silent treatment, because you dared to speak the truth. He needs to get a full-time job and start contributing. As your partner, he should be trying to make your life easier. You're stressed out because you just
    via u/wordsmythy
  • 10
    madmaxturbator. 14h Adding to this, the dead beat has already asked to be on the deed... thank he is not. Op is his chauffeur and thinks he's even gonna get a house out of all this. Crazy
    via u/madmaxturbator
  • 11
    MediocreSize4997 • 16h Wait a minute! He makes $350 a week and can't pay you $120 for gas a month? What is he doing with his paycheck?
    via u/MediocreSize4997
  • 12
    flatsoda-97 OP. 16h He does pay for his own food and drinks because he doesn't like what I get (he eats a lot of processed foods as well as expensive protein shakes). He sends money to his brother and mom who live in India. He also collects Funko Pop figures. I guess that is where it all goes since he has no savings.
    via u/flatsoda-97
  • 13
    Its_Big_Fungus • 16h Partassipant [3] INFO: why haven't you dumped him? He sounds like an entitled freeloader who contributes nothing to your relationship whatsoever
    via u/Its_Big_Fungus
  • 14
    OkHistory3944. 16h Partassipant [2] Why is a 36M still working part time and without a car? Yes, there can be a lot of valid temporary/ emergency reasons for it but if it's his normal situation, OP, take this layoff as the blessing it can be and jettison yourself from this dead weight. YOU LOST YOUR JOB and he's complaining about giving you money to help cover gas to HIS job? No! 4 years together and you still pay all the bills? If he's told you you're privileged for getting a master's or the AH
    via u/OkHistory3944
  • 15
    Direct-Nail5176 - 15h You know you boyfriend had more disposable income than you for the last 8 years? You make 55$ per hour, but paid all expenses. You likely have less than 10$ per hour left after taxes, mortgage, car payment, gas, insurance, groceries. Meanwhile he lives like a teenager, with all his income being disposable income.
    via u/Direct-Nail5176
  • 16
    flatsoda-97 OP. 15h I never thought of it this way. But you are so right about that. I made enough to live comfortably but never had any extra money to take vacations or anything extravagant.
    via u/flatsoda-97
  • 17
    lostalldoubt86 - 16h Craptain [175] NTA- What is keeping him from getting a full time job? Reply 分 141 凸 flatsoda-97 OP • 16h I had enough trouble getting him to get this part time job. He was worse before this and I don't know why I'm just realizing this is not normal. :(
    via u/lostalldoubt86
  • 18
    MA 10 0 bogo0814 15h Enthusiast [5] Can we skip back to the part where your 36 y/o bf works part-time? What does he do the rest of the time? Is he going to school? Does he take care of the majority of the household chores? How does he contribute to your life & relationship other than mooching rides everywhere from you?
    via u/bogo0814
  • 19
    flatsoda-97 OP. 15h I have talked to him multiple times about going to school and even offered to have him quit his job to focus n getting a degree because I know that will help us in the future. He just isn't motivated to do it. He spends his time at the gym, watching anime, and playing video games.
    via u/flatsoda-97

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